h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...and sorry, no Lulu in this list, Paul

FS, I mean, not Paul!

You two are so alike!

No idea what list you're using Icy, but I was going to guess Sailing by Rod Stewart, only to notice that you'd disallowed it as correct, (TC already had it as one of her answers) but as I couldn't quite get my head around that one not being a million copies sold in the UK - I took a look for myself (at the figures for "Sailing"), and it does seem to have sold 1.2 million uk singles.

Annoying?

The Teletubbies - Teletubbies say 'Eh oh' ( I hope I'm wrong with that one though)
Village People - YMCA

oh yes, annoying much

how about Road to Amarillo - no idea who it's by.

And chirpy chirpy cheep cheep?

chirpy chirpy cheep cheep was by The Middle OF the Road - my parents had that one!

Might Born In the USA by Springsteen be on that list?

How about The Carnival is Over by The Seekers?

Was number one when I was born (now you all my age of course )

I can't answer your question about 'Sailing', Lanzababy. Yes, it must have sold a lot of singles - it was the theme music to a BBC series about the Royal Navy, if I recall - but it's not on this list. There must be more than one way to calculate these sales figures.

But you've done well today:

30. The Seekers - The Carnival is Over (1.4m)
33. Village People - YMCA (1.38m)
53. Tony Christie - Amarillo (1.16m)
62. The Teletubbies - Teletubbies say 'Eh oh' (1.108m)

But 'The Boss' has had no million sellers here, neither did Middle of the Road.

Page Turner - the list so far:

1. Elton John - Candle in the Wind (4.865m)
2. Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas? (3.575m)
3. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody (2.176m)
4. Wings - Mull of Kintyre (2.050m)
7. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax (1.91m)
8. The Beatles - She Loves You (1.89m)
12. Wet Wet Wet - Love Is All Around (1.785m)
14. The Beatles - I Want To Hold Your Hand (1.75m)
18. Bryan Adams - Everything I Do I Do It For You (1.545m)
24. Wham - Last Christmas (1.485m)
30. The Seekers - The Carnival is Over (1.4m)
33. Village People - YMCA (1.38m)
35. Englebert Humperdinck - Release Me (1.365m)
36. Whitney Houston - I will Always Love You (1.361m)
40. Spice Girls - Wannabe (1.276m)
47. Tom Jones - Greeg Green Grass of Home (1.205m)
51. Harry Belafonte - Mary's Boy Child (1.175 million sold)
53. Tony Christie - Amarillo (1.16m)
58. Band Aid 20 - Do They Know it's Christmas? (1.138m)
60. Acker Bilk - Stranger on the Shore (1.130m)
62. The Teletubbies - Teletubbies say 'Eh oh' (1.108m)
63. Babylon Zoo - Spaceman
67. Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of my Head (1.087)
73. Cliff Richard & The Shadows / The Young Ones (1.052m)
74. Michael Jackson - Earth Song (1.040m)
76. Oasis - Wonderwall (1.015m)
81. Bing Crosby - White Christmas (1.005m)

<BB<

Still looking for talent show winners and must have Elvis...

Mary Hopkins - Those Were The Days
Elvis Presley - decisions, decisions.... Love Me Tender
Beach Boys - Good Vibrations
Joe Cocker - With A Little Help From My Friends
Animals - House of the Rising Sun

<BB<

I'm trying for singles that never were actually number one, but which stayed around for absolutely ages. Evergreens, I think they're called. They're also often to be found in the "annoying" category. The sort of thing that would be played on Radio 2.

that would include

"Volare" - by Dean Martin or someone of that ilk (how far back do these lists go? - Which was the first single ever to sell a million?)
Hi ho silver lining, Jeff Beck (?)
Jonah Louis - wish I could be home for Christmas
When I'm 64 - the Beatles
Rocking all over the world - Status Quo

To prevent people wasting their guesses and in addition to Bluebottle's list I thought I'd note down all the wrong guesses:

Rolf Harris - Two little boys
Melanie Thornton - that coca cola song
Clive Dunn - Grandad
Summer Holiday - Cliff Richard and the Shadows
Amazing Grace - some bagpipe band
The Beatles - Hey Jude
Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall
Lady Gaga - Poker Face
Ernie - Benny Hill
Twist and Shout - The Beatles
Sailing - Rod Stewart
Satisfaction - Rolling Stones
Kate Bush, Wuthering Heights
Elvis, I Can't Help Falling in Love with You
Cliff, Congratulations
Abba, Dancing Queen
Michael Jackson - Bad
Kylie Minogue & Jason Donovan - Especially For You
Eric Idle's _Always Look on the Bright Side of Life_
Easy Listening, herb Alpert: Spanish Flea
Donna Summer I feel love.
Slim Shady by Eminem
Kylie Minogue - I Just Can't Get You Out of my Head
Leona Lewis - Run
Robbie Williams - Angels
Cliff Richard - Millennium Prayer Song
Robbie Williams - Let me Entertain you
Rolling Stones Let's spend the night together
David Bowie - Space Oddyssey
Coldplay - viva la vida
Montserrat Caballe and Freddie Mercury: Barcelona.
Marvin Gaye - Heard it through the Grapevine
Procol Harum - Whiter Shade of Pale
Roy Orbison - Pretty Woman
Lulu - Shout
Cilla - Anyone who had a heart
Happy - Jonas Pharrell
chirpy chirpy cheep cheep
Born In the USA by Springsteen

Yet to be commented by Icy:

Mary Hopkins - Those Were The Days
Elvis Presley - Love Me Tender
Beach Boys - Good Vibrations
Joe Cocker - With A Little Help From My Friends
Animals - House of the Rising Sun
Volare" - by Dean Martin
Hi ho silver lining, Jeff Beck (?)
Jonah Louis - wish I could be home for Christmas
When I'm 64 - the Beatles
Rocking all over the world - Status Quo


General remarks:

The following do not appear on the list at all
Melanie Thornton, Clive Dunn or Rolf Harris
Pink Floyd, Lady Gaga
Kate Bush
Abba
Eric Idle, Herb Alpert, Donna Summer, Eminem, Susan Boyle, Leona Lewis or Robbie Williams
Rolling Stones, David Bowie or Coldplay
Lulu
Bruce Springsteen
Middle of the Road

Clues:
all styles are represented in this list: Easy Listening, Rock and Roll, Punk/New Wave, Indie Rock, Disco, Boy Bands, Club/Dance, Hip Hop/Rap, Charity anthems, talent show winners, - you name it.
Scandinavians more obscure than Abba have been spied.


E & O E

There - don't say I don't drop clues


None of those, BB - you picked the wrong Elvis song.

None of those either, TC, unfortunately, but you may find some unclaimed Beatles songs on the list...

There are three million-sellers from the 1950s. You've already found one - Harry Belafonte.

Celine Dion - My Heart will Go On (I think this is the one that French and Saunders pilloried and is the only version I liked)

Beatles: Hey Jude

Rock Around the Clock - Bill Hailey and the Comets.

Ah, I already mentioned Hey Jude, sorry.

But you score for:

31. Bill Haley - Rock Around the Clock (1.392m)
37. Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On (1.347m)



That's the only Bill Haley song in the list...

More 1950s number ones to find, would these be Elvis hits?

Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock
Elvis Presley - All Shook Up

Mind you, if there's any justice in the world there'd be a Buddy Holly song in there (but somehow I suspect there isn't, just as the only Bob Dylan no 1 hit in the UK was by Manfred Mann)

Buddy Holly - That'll Be The Day

<BB<

more annoying stuff

Sugar Sugar - the Archies
I'm a Believer - the Monkees
Red Red Wine - UB40

actually no - UB40 is not in the annoying category. The other two are though

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