h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I believe that I am too young to grow old and to old to grow up
I read your page and wondered how you were getting on now ,it sounded like you had been going through an awful time!.I hope life is much better for you at the moment

I still don't know what I want to be if I grow up!!

I have just read through my page again and it sounds rather bleak! I have been continuing my counselling and have found it invaluable. I no longer feel as helpless as I did back then and I am starting to reclaim my life.

I am still with my partner and although he has not stopped drinking he has significantly reduced his intake and is now aware that he has a problem and is slowly trying to deal with it. I don't know what will happen but I do feel that we were meant to be together and I have learnt some valuable lessons from our time together and even from his drink problem. Back to fate again....

I am glad things aren't as bad for you now,and it is good you have some help from your counseller.I think you are very to stay with the relationship,but your partner recognising he has a problem is half the battle at least.Does anyone know what will happen in the life or relationships?the best laid plans of mice and men eh.I believe that the bad periods of life help us to measure the good times and value them

I have a similiar philosophy... you can't have the highs in life without having the lows as well. It's when the lows start to outweight the highs that changes need to be made.

My life and self worth had reached that point and I felt I had no choice but to face my fears. Others have told me I am brave to go through this journey of self discovery but because of the person I am this is what I have to do - maybe that's my fate?! North American Indians said that those who went for spiritual or emotional healing were going because of the previous seven generations and for the benefit of the next seven generations. I am the one who has decided to stop the cycle and in doing so my childhood experiences and beliefs have been turned on their head. Finding out that my mother was not the angel I believed her to be has deepend my feelings for her instead of souring them. She was human after all and to err is human! I can now stop listening to her voice of disapproval and give myself a break!

Well done ,not listening to your mother's disapproving voice,is not an easy one to overcome.I do think that we have extremely high and unrealistic expectations of our parents and forget that they are human and fallable with it.Forgiveness is a very important emotion which is very elusive at times.My yoga teacher tells me that anger only hurts one's self and not the individual or thing it is directed against.Took me a long time to let go of my unresolved anger(sounds like I have issues with anger but I just get really annoyed sometimes)
Being kind towards ourselves is something that also takes practise but am really pleased you are giving yourself a break

I certainly had unrealistic views of my parents... my dad was an ogre and my mum was perfection personified!!!! I grew up believing I was imperfect because my feelings and interests did not fit in with the family ideal - no sporting skills = no attention.

Now I am getting the child within to shut up and relinquish her contol over me (the child who has been quoting my mum for all she is worth) I can listen to the adult voice of reason which tells me I am no less imperfect that anyone else - believing it was hard at first!!!

I agree with your yoga teacher... I have a history of uncontrollable rages (which are subsiding now I know that it is not being listened to that triggers the anger and frustration) but they have never got me anywhere, the person the anger is directed at normally walks away oblivious while I seethe and take it out on myself!!

I want to thank you for your comments. I am not used to being told 'well done' for anything and it makes a huge difference

Thank you it has been really interesting conversating with you.
I was the youngest of four children and understand what it was like for you to not be heard.My drive for perfection in life I too carried with me from childhood into adulthood,and to be honest I still try hard to make things perfect(which is impossible I now know).Yoga has helped me to see things a little clearer, be more rational and a lot kinder to myself.
It has been pouring down with rain here all daybut on the plus side we are forecast a heatwave for the weekend
Have you planned to do anything nice at the weekend?

I have been enjoying our conversation too.

I only have one sibling - an older brother - but he was good at all sport and followed the family ideal and ambition. I used to stand up for him and his rights (despite being 2.5 years his junior) while he sided with the parents and tried to get me into trouble at every opportunity; pointing out my short comings or anything I had done that would draw the parents disapproval.

Knowing that perfection is more often impossible to achieve doesn't seem to stop us trying.

I am in Cambridgeshire and we have been having fairly nice weather this week. It's roasting outside today but I am currently sitting at my desk with 3 layers of clothes on an my feet are starting to go numb - how much do I hate aircon?!! I hope the weather holds for the weekend so I can appreciate it properly!

I have no specific plans for the weekend. Hubby and I are hoping there will be no rain so we can finally seal the pond... long story but next doors kids pelted the pond with rocks and punctured the liner last summer, currently the pond life is in a paddling pool on the decking while we cement the pond but it keeps raining and stopping the project!

How about you? What are you up to?

I have two brothers so I know how cruel they could be in childhood.They can still infuriate me in adult life because they still believe they are big brothers who know best
We had lovely weather todayI am sure Cambridgeshire is a lot milder in climate than Scotland where I am!Still lets hope we can enjoy some sunshine this weekend.I have lots to catch up on in the garden(I am an avid gardener and grow my own organic vegetables too)
I haven't got a pond though but I do know that they can look wonderful and tranquil. with the cementing ,am sure your pondlife will appreciate it greatly.
This weekend apart from the garden my best friend comes back from holiday so we will be catching up other than that a fairly quiet one.
Enjoy and hope the sun shines for you and do tell me what Cambridgeshire is like to live in?

I have been melting all weekend it has been so hot here... I am in Peterborough (if you know it) and it is very flat living here! Total contrast to Scotland! I grew up not believing in hills - just a figment of an overactive imagination!!! As a result we do miss out on a lot of weather because those clouds just roll on by. The downside is we will be first to start swimming when the fens get reclaimed by the sea !!

I have lived here all my life and always talked about leaving. Over the last few years the city has got worse. There is a lot more crime and my husband has been the victim of a racist attack (he is white) and was nearly stabbed by a 15 year old because he stopped him breaking into a neighbours car. I don't want to have children and bring them up here. We considered leaving the UK altogether at one stage but our current goal is to move to a small-holding in the country and become partially self sufficient.

Despite the weekend sun we didn't get our pond sealed - discovered an open day at a local exotic pet rescue centre which was far more important! Especially as they have a baby spider monkey which is sooooo cute!

Hope you had fun catching up with your best friend and had a really good weekend. Where abouts in Scotland are you? I have only been there once to a place called Kinnlock Rannock. I thought it was so beautiful and took so many pictures (I take 'arty' photos and have sold more Scottish pictures than any others... not that I push too much with the selling these days but as my confidence grows who knows...)

Baby Spider monkey ah!Think I would of rather seen him than seal the pond.It was also far too hot to be mixing up cement

I live quite near Edinburgh(45 mins train journey)in the kingdom of Fife and am surrounded with hills.It is quite rural but close enough to the city for all the amenities.Although the farmer who owns the neighbouring land has sold off a field recently to a housing developerI really hope he doesn't sell anymore.
I am a keen gardener and grow my own organic vegetables so I can share your dream of living on a small holdingMy friends just moved to the Isle of Skye to stay on a small holding and I must admit I was sorely tempted to move too.
I hope your husband has recovered from his assault,that must have been frightening.My sister lives in the city and when I visit I never feel that safe and am glad to return to the village.
It is good to be creativeyou must be a talented photographer to be able to sell your work!I do think Scotland is beautiful and love the countryside.You should be confident ,you are a talented photographer who sells her own work that is a real achievement.My boyfriend does photography as a hobby and takes a lot of pictures of lochs(he is a fisherman)some of the sunset shots are quite magical

The animal sanctuary was really cool, they let me inside some of the cages to take pictures minus the bars (not for the spider monkey though). Beats pond reconstruction any day.

I am full of for your hills!!

My husband and all my friends (and even some people who don't like me) have told me I should I am a good photographer and should take it up professionally. I am thinking about it for the future (which I never have before) but am a little scared I would stop enjoying it if I had to make money out of it. I am training to be a driving instructor (so I can work anywhere) then I will be working odd hours and will have more time to get out and get snapping. My husband takes his camera fishing too but only so he can say "It was ttttthhhhhiiiiiisssssss BIG"!!!

I have to go... As you have probably realised I am only on line while at work - otherwise my space would be no where near as honest as it is!!!

That was kind of the Sanctuary letting you inside the cages to take your photos.I hope they turned out well
The driving instructor job seems an ideal solution for you to be able to take more snaps and not lose the enjoyment of a hobbyBet you end up doing it professionally one day when you feel the time is right!
I believe in being honest in fact I am often accused of being too direct but have found in the past it is better to say how you really feel than bottle it up and let it come out in a rage
Do you eat a lot of fish then(am thinking of your husband and his catch'this bigggggg)

My husband is very private and would not like the things that I have said - even though there is nothing to link it to him!! I, like you, am accused of being brutally honest at times. I prefer honesty ... its best to know where you stand. I once said to an old boss that I could handle the fact that she didn't like me but what I couldn't handle was the two faced manner in which she pretended to like me!!! That was just as I was leaving the job!!!

What work do you do?

I don't like fish very much - visually tropical fish are ok and I like the sterlet we have in the pond because he looks like a little . I hold my breath and look the other way when I walk past the fish counter so no, I don't eat a lot of fish, just tuna. I used to be a very strict non fish eating vegetarian but when I started craving tuna I thought it was best to listen to what my body was trying to tell me. Now I just eat what I fancy when I fancy it but I still don't eat meat because I don't like it!

I liked what you said to your old boss,and it definately sounds direct which is exactly what I amI despise pretence in my life and could deal far better with someone who says I dislike you than someone who pretends to like me.
Am actually a carer and part time student(ECDL course)at the moment.I need to pass the course to get an NHS placement as a medical library research assistant.I have had to pay my course fees myself so there is a huge incentive to pass
Which job do you do?
I am a great vegetable eater(hence the reason for growing my organic veg)and fruit,I do eat fish and seafood and eat very little red meat mainly because it is packed with chemicalsI to cook especially Italian foodYes I believe you should eat what you fancy! every now and then does no harm

I know what you mean about the cost of courses being an incentive - I have paid for my driving instrustor course.

Have been really busy today. I am an IT Helpdesk person - logging calls, and there have been a lot of IT issues today

My driving instuctor took early retirement!!!think I scared him into it
Are the public usually nice to you in your role of IT helpdesk person?I would imagine there are usually a lot of IT issues on a regular basis.
Hope you have a relaxing evening when you get home

I don't have to deal with the general public - just people who work for my company. Most days it is fairly quiet and the people are usually very friendly but on the odd day it all goes tits up and the callers are irate and calls just keep constantly coming in. Yesterday was one such day. I got home last night to find hubby had done 2 loads of washing, cleaned the kitchen and prepared a salad for tea so I got to put my feet up in front of the TV and let the stresses of the day evaporate!!

I have to go now for the weekend - picking hubby up from the hospital as he has just had a minor op.

Have a great weekend

That was nice of him ,2 loads of washing, cleaning the kitchen and salad,my boyfriend would have managed the salad and then only if the ingriedients were in the fridge
Well I hope your husband doesn't feel too bad after his op.Anaestetic always makes me feel
Enjoy your quiet weekend I am going to see my sister on Saturday
so
2 loads of washing...*mutters thinking oh how nice one load of washing would of been sigh*

I have a very grouchy hubby at home now ... he makes such a bad patient! He is unable to use his right arm at the moment but is refusing to let me help him with things such as tying his laces, prefering to spend 10 mins doing it himself. I got him home on Friday and he wanted to go to the shop to get milk - told me to stop treating him like a kid when I wouldn't let him go then collapsed in a chair 10 mins later!!!!!!

He is very good at helping around the house but he thinks he is better than he really is... he would say everything is 50/50 but it's more like 70/30 ... I am really lucky that he is willing to take on some of the jobs men regard a 'girly' and he cooks a Sunday lunch better than me.

No surprises that it threw it down with rain on Friday, just as the pond had dried, so have to drain it again and do my sun dance!

Hope you had a great weekend and didn't get too or have too much of a !