h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In fact I read 'dire rear' in a Terry Pratchett book the other day. And since I can never spell dia... properly I thought this would be an excellent substitute.



az

I came across this today, not sure if I have posted it here before, but what the heck:

Nyet, Ya koshka:

The most useful phrase one can learn in Russian (after "Ya loobloo peat vodku" - I love to drink vodka) has to be "Nyet, Ya koshka" or "No I'm a cat."

It provides an excellent answer to almost any question asked of
you....

Do you know where the kiosk is? No, I'm a cat. Would you give me the
pleasure of joining me for dinner tonight? No, I'm a cat. Did you remember to do the dishes? No, I'm a cat.

Try it out for a few days and I promise you'll get asked less questions!




az

Would you give me the pleasure of joining me for dinner tonight? No, I'm a cat. Did you remember to do the dishes? No, I'm a cat.

Morning most cats leave crystal clean bowls (and balls)those that still have them. hat is.

PS got web cam on henry sleeping place,the top of a cutdown cherry tree shame cant take it with me when i move.

Az or any one else that has yahoo bllszbob web cam has been opened to all for a limited time showing Henry sleeping

hi logicus,

Will check out Henry on web-cam later this evening if you are around.

-----

Meanwhile, I cannot find this Phytogel stuff anywhere so I may end up having to try the aloe vera and risk the vomiting and dire rear. But I hope Lua will just choose not to lick it off. And of course aloe vera is very healing.

az

Will you get off the bed? Nyet, Ya koshka!

News!! News!! News!!

I have just got back from working in Germany for a few days and have received a message from Cats Protection! They have a kitten for rehoming and we can go and see her today! I am so excited! More later...

The pet shop had three kittens yesterday. They were sooooo cute and I was seriously tempted, but decided I couldn't face the hissy fit Cassie would pull for days!

How's Lua?

Weird thing late last night, with Benjamin,

I had gone out to the all-night drug-store to get a card for Mom, and to put up the big sign on the porch (which she LOVED this morning) and Benjamin did his magic escape routine. I tried to lure him back in about an hour later when I got back, but he wouldn't. So, I left the back screen open and the slidey-door open a bit. Much, much later (2-ish), I heard him yowl and went downstairs.

He was cowering under a chair and seemingly trying to get rid of something unpleasnat in his mouth. I reached down to pet him and he growled at me. Then he started pacing about the downstairs with his tail twitching, sniffing about, obviously hunting for something.

There was a very slight skunky smell in the living-room, but I could smell nothing outside. I picked him up at one point and his tail went all big and he was obviously not pleased. I looked fairly thoroughly on the main floor but found no 4-legged intruders. I finally shut the patio door and left him to prowl around.

He was fine this morning, but I am baffled.

Hey, Lady - what big news! So a new kitten is on the way. I know you will keep us posted.

Mudhooks, if Benjamin had had an encounter with a skunk I think you wouldn't be wondering about it. But he obviously seemed to have encountered something. On the other hand, my cats (especially Azar) often behave like they have just seen dragons and race about the place acting totally weird.

Caerwynn, thanks for asking about Lua. She seems quite fine though the tumour continues to bleed now and then. Maria the vet had a look at the tumour again yesterday and says although it is growing very slowly she says it is only attached to the skin and not to anything muscular inside Lua. So Maria has filled me with doubt that perhaps I should have this tumour surgically removed as she thinks it might not be cancerous after all - just a big benign lump of a tumour.

On the other hand, Maria told me the story about someone who brought in their dog who had suddenly stopped eating. Tests showed he had huge cancerous tumours growing everywhere in almost every organ but the dog had showed no symptoms of discomfort at all until the previous few days. And they ended up putting the dog down (he was about 14 years old) as he was suddenly no longer able to eat and was beyond help.

It is really so hard to know what to do!

az

Oh joy!

I have been adopted by a 10 week old kitten. As you can imagine I can't stop long - she is taking up so much of my time!!!

We have no name for her yet. She has big thumbs on her front paws and an extra toe on each back paw!! She is gorgeous!

I have posted a photo of her here: http://homepage.ntlworld.com/comfychicken/jpgs/kitten.jpg

I'll write more soon.

Lady

She is, indeed!

What a darling little ball of fur, Lady!

I think you are both *very* lucky.

az

She is such a sweetie, Lady!

Thanks for the update on Lua, azahar. It is a dilemma isn't it? I wish I knew what to advise.

I finally found a small bottle of aloe vera (99.7% pure) - other ones I had come across looked like family-sized bottles of bath gel (enormous!) So I slapped a bit on the tumour and will put some more on before bed and see if there are any icky side effects in the morning. I tried a bit on the tip of my tongue and it is bitter as hell, so I hope this will prevent her from licking it off.

I'm a bit concerned that it says 'for external use only' and for being 99.7% pure there seem to be a heck of a lot of other ingredients in there - including alcohol and perfume! I mean, it's one thing if Lua throws up a bit or gets dire rear, but I sure don't want to poison her! Well, as I say, I won't over-do it today, just put it on a couple of times and see what happens. Also, most of it will rub off anyhow from her lying around on the floor, the bed, etc.


Lady, have you named the kitten yet?

az

Hi az

I hope Lua will be OK with the aloe vera - cats seem to love the perfume and alcohol combination! Whenever Bryan puts on aftershave Charlie licks his hands clean - getting quite passionate about it!!

Anyway...kitten news!!

She has settled in really well and is eating like a piggy!! She goes through 2 Whiskas Kitten pouches a day! She won't be too tiny for much longer. She is really clean too - uses her litter tray like an old pro! But enough already...you want a name!

After much deliberation and discussion (til 1am!) we came up with 2 names. We finally rejected 1 of them - Phoebe - and eventually came to a unanimous decision on...






































Tasha.

Short for Natasha which comes from the Greek name Anastacia which means re-birth.

What do you all think?

Lady

ps - more pics coming soon!

Tasha is great! At least, I like it.

I spoke to Maria the vet and she said after trying the aloe vera today I should wait until Sunday to try it again - this will show if there are any nasty side effects. But it really does taste horrible and Lua is far from stupid. Well, we shall see.

buenas noches!

azzzzzzz

So az - has the aloe vera worked? Any dire rear?

I have been so pre-occupied with Tasha these last few days! It was a week ago today that we bought her home! How time flies.

She has learnt so many new things...climbing things being the main one! I think I might be buying new curtains for the bedroom very soon.

Up to now she has mastered the silent miaow...her mouth opens but no sound comes out - at least none that us mere humans can perceive. This morning though, just after Charlie had woken us up with his miaowing (which is equivalent to a jet engine noise at 6am) we heard very high pitch mewing coming from the office where she is shut in at night. At first we thought we were imagining it so we crept up to the door to listen. What a sight we must have looked! Two half naked people trying to listen to a 1kg kitten mewing behind a door at 6 in the morning!

I am in the process of putting all my pics on a Fotki page - I'll let you know when they are up.

to all - cats and otherwise, Lady

hi Lady,

No, no dire rear or vomiting, but also no sign of healing the open sore (ick). I'm only putting the aloe vera on once a day and although it tastes vile I think she is licking it off. Well, it may come down to putting the collar on, but so far I am trying to avoid that.

Meanwhile, I am thinking it wouldn't make sense to reconsider operating at this point. All the risks are still there as well as none of the guarantees. Especially with Lua being almost 14.

I keep thinking about how your cat and the dog Maria told me about were totally fine and happy and then suddenly stopped eating and a day or two later had to be put down. That is really how I hope it goes with Lua. Fast and with as little pain as possible.

At the moment she is still eating like a pig and seems very content and happy. Though with the HEAT she prefers to lie on the floor now rather than on the chair next to me.

But I am aware that she could go at any time - within a few days. So I always feel like each day with her is a gift. She gets plenty of kisses on the head all the time and I still make a big fuss over her. And of course she is still gobbling up her paté like there is no tomorrow. Bless her.

Anyhow, glad to hear that Tasha is settling in. And that she has starte to mew! Maria the vet has a new kitten as well that she keeps in the kitchen at night and when she is out. I have never done this so I find it a bit odd. Likewise with you keeping Tasha in the office at night. But I guess not everybody likes cats in their bed! Even I have to admit that all my cats are spoilt rotten, which I am sure is not how most people are prepared to live with their animals.

Looking forward to the new photo album!



az

Apart from the sore, it sounds as if Lua's general condition is good, especially if she is eating well.

But I'm sticking my fingers in my ears so as not to hear the kitten talk. Cassie would go absolutely wild at an interloper no matter how cute.