h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ten big points for spotting the sarcasm!

Talking doesn't seem to help. Neither does anything else, actually. Going with the usual technique - faking it.

It seems you *can* fool most of the people most of the time . . .


az

Well all I can say is you appear to be faking it convincingly.

Sometimes that's as good as it gets. Better, even.

F

Faking it convincingly happens to be one of my specialities.

And that is *not* as good as it gets - it's not even anywhere close.

Well anyhoodle . . . large weather we're having, innit?


az

I don't really like that picture, it was just the best of a bad bunch. Have realised I am going to learn how to do a for-the-camera smile in time for the wedding that won't make my eyes disappear.

The album is coming along nicely, it was a good idea

Has Member really disappeared? Seems like more HVL-like behaviour, getting into increasingly bitter and vitriolic exchanges until flouncing out in disgust. I have to admit, I thought the use of his name to get at Della was childish, the eds told him to stop and he wouldn't - protests that he wasn't impersonating her rather miss the point. Having said that, I hate to see anyone go from here, even those I disagree with.

So what's up az? Anything I can help with? Here

hi Kelli,

<>

Okey-dokey. Going to practice in front of the mirror? Meanwhile, it didn't strike me that your eyes had 'disappeared' in that photo.

I agree that Member's Della name changes were juvenile, however this didn't stop me from laughing out loud at a couple of the better ones!

I reckon he is just biding his time and is probably lurking right now. Possibly he got put on pre-mod for the name-change thing and didn't want to deal with that. But I hope he comes back soon. Although I disagree with his absurd ravings about women and some of his nastier tactics I quite like the guy.

What's up? Oh, just stuff. Nothing that is really worth talking about or even remotely interesting to listen to. Anything you can help with? Well in fact, you and all my hootoo friends here help *a lot* just by being here.

Oh, and thanks for the

az

"Faking it convincingly happens to be one of my specialities."

Aha!




"And that is *not* as good as it gets - it's not even anywhere close."

Whoo-oo.


And the weather is, in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, without, as it were, being overly pedantic, almost upwards of nearly average; for the time of year.

F

I notice Hoo posted yesterday. I noticed that today - I wasn't here yesterday. Hmm, Member leaves and Hoo starts making occasional appearances. A suspicious person might infer something inferential from that.

F

First you make fun of me and then you offer me a loo brush???





az

Dammit, I'll never understand women!

A loo brush? You were lucky! We used to dream of having a loo brush...



F

Yes, his last posting - well, the link - was hysterical.

*And* he gave me permission to use his photo - you didn't see that? It was on that thread you stalked me on. Or are you stalking Hoo?

Now, what about your photo?


az

I saw the picture az - has he been in then?

FAR too much b'log for me this week - too much hootoo, so little time

Budapest seems nice, am teaching here this week - hope I can have a wander around one night and get to see the place properly.

Sod the loobrush, have a az

Help!

I can't get to my own personal space. What's going on? Can anyone else get to it? I got to az's personal space OK.

F

That is sooooo bizarre - it won't open for me either (and I've tried about ten times since earlier this afternoon).

So how can you post if you're not here, Fathom? You must be able to sign in. I wonder what's happened to your page?

On one of the tries I got what looked like your page with no conversations or friends list - but the intro (such as it is) was there. I wonder what you can do about this? Let me know if I can help. If you have trouble signing in then send an email.

Loo brush?

az

Thanks for the , Kelli. How's Budapest? Have you had a chance to get out and about at all?

az

Hi az,

Thanks for the loo brush and the support. I still can't get to my page but I am able to sign in and post to conversations. It's very difficult navigating around the site without having a personal space as a reference point. I've been using your space instead, I hope you don't mind. You post to many of the same threads as me so at least I can see what's happening around my usual haunts. I'm not really stalking you, honest.

If you can't get to my space either it suggests the page itself is faulty. Perhaps I'm the victim of some bizarre 'denial of service' attack or something. How do I report a faulty page and to whom? I'll try to track down one of the italics and plead for assistance I think.

This machine at w*rk limits what I can do and the one at home has been a bit tetchy lately (hormones?) so I haven't been able to open that geocities link from Hoo. I can't send you a picture either but I might eventually - if I can find one from about twenty years ago!

Thanks for your offer of help. How's things with you?

F

You could try sending an email to either of these places to ask what's up with your page:

[email protected] or [email protected]

Of course I don't mind sharing my space with you! Make yourself at home. I often use Noggin's page to see what other possible interesting conversations are happening since he appears to be subscribed to practically everything and so it's a bit like one-stop shopping.

What do you mean you *can't* send me a picture? I think you mean you *won't*.

Hang on, I'll cut and paste that link here - it really is hilarious.

az

This worked so well on that thread - it's a Fry & Laurie skit called:


Flushed Grollings

The set is one of those warehousey sort of places, where
the merchandise is behind the assistant who wears a
brown warehouse coat. Lots of blue plastic trays with
pro-ey looking bits and pieces.

Stephen enters with a list.


Hugh: Help you, sir?

Stephen: Um, a dozen grollings please.

Hugh: Flushed or galvanised?

Stephen: Flushed.

Hugh: Right. That be it?

Stephen: A copper flange-pipe, braced, two jubilees, seven
nipples ...

Hugh: Greased?

Stephen: Greased nipples, yeah. Five olive-spantles, jigged
and onioned.

Hugh: Twelve or seventeen mill?

Stephen: Twelve. Metre of fleeling wire, coaxial, twenty UJ's
and a parping couplet.

Hugh: Male or female?

Stephen: Male. No, second thoughts, one of each.

Hugh: Do you want the parping couplet standing proud?

Stephen: No, embarrassed I think.

Hugh: An embarrassed parping couplet. That it?

Stephen: Two rolls of spowling tape.

Hugh: Double-sided?

Stephen: Do they do single-sided?

Hugh: Only in Viennese lengths.

Stephen: Better go with double then. Six sheets of gruddock
paper.

Hugh: Parkinised?

Stephen: No.

Hugh: Right.

Stephen: Nearly there. Four felching pens and a bevelled
spill-trunion.

Hugh: Only got one felching pen left. Got some frotting
pencils though.

Stephen: Will they do?

Hugh: Well, you know the thrush-plate?

Stephen: Yeah.

Hugh: You can use a frotting pencil on that, rude to the
look-out valve on the fumpspoke and you can cut
out the felching altogether. As long as you rim the
satchel-arm properly first.

Stephen: Right. Four frotting pencils then.

Hugh: So, that's it, is it?

Stephen: Yup.

Hugh: You've already got a clip-jawed double lock brace
have you?

Stephen: Do you reckon I'll need one?

Hugh: Well, are you going straight or curved?

Stephen: Straight, then curved.

Hugh: Ah. Well you should be all right then, as long as
you remember to suck the clenching pin tight to
the arc thrust.

Stephen slaps Hugh in the face.

Stephen: How dare you.

Hugh: Sorry.

Four candles?

F

Say what?

az