h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yey! I like good timing, but i timed out pretty immediately after i sent this coz my comp crashed out...

We'll im stressed enough about P2 again and the new P3 so i dont know how you can do it!!!!!!!!! hmmm, you could teach me on here.... d*mn thats not a smiley!

I know peps who think girls and boys are evil, thankfully, ive shown most of them that girls are actually adorable little balls of fun... well, not balls, as such, but fantabulicious all the same!

Hmmm, so you're telling me that if a 24 stone 13yr old with a moustache was stalking you then you'd like it? (no, i dont look like that, its only an example!)

Im sure you could work out the handsome bit yourself - its just such a blokey word, or what you say when a lady is goodlooking but not your sort. Yep?

! how did you know i was a bondage babe? (another part of my darkside...

You dont want a ? Well, i think we can manage that one... what do you find interesting then?

Maths is bad for the soul. A-levels aren't important enough to stress yourself about, especially since that makes the exams harder to take.

If a 24 stone 13 year old with a moustache was stalking me then I'd have a good laugh about it at least. Possibly I should think my sweeping generalisations through sometimes though.

Handsome is a pretty evil word for a girl whatever the situation, its just not a word I've used to describe anyone ever, so I never thought about its potential use as an insult.

Oh how could anyone not like the idea of being tied up and completely at someone else's mercy? Well, assuming the someone else is trustworthy and suitably gorgoeus and preferably wearing skimpy leather .

Hmm, I misphrased my last bit from the previous post, which is probably why I'm now confused by the last bit of yours, .

I have to see my maths tutor tomorrw to tell him that actually im not dropping his course, but in a way i am coz i want to do modules my school doesnt offer. That'll be fun. If im never on again, its coz im dead, but it wont come to that!

Ok - you dont want to make sweeping generalistations... but, if you had the choice, what would i look like?

other insults which shouldnt be... fair (looking), skinny (use slim coz it implies curves) and healthy...

Dont get me talking about bondage, i'll never stop. But - which girls (famous) would you tie up? 4 me, Christina Ricci, Amy Lee (lead singer of Evanescencse) and the dark haired girl from American Beauty... are you a dominator or a submisser?

Dont be confused! Just

Hmm, is there a number I should call to report to the local police in the event of your non-appearance on H2G2?

If I had the choice what would you look like? Do you mean what do I think you might look like based on talking to you here, or do you mean just my idea woman? Or something else?

I agree with you on those, definitely damning with faint praise. Don't think they're particularly words I'd think to use really though.

Famous girls to tie up? This is actually going to be quite a difficult one since I hardly ever watch TV or buy magazines. Well I haven't seen any of those 3, I feel deprived. Well, not really if it means I don't have to listen to Evanescence .

Ok, Allison Goldfrapp for a start. Trip-hop singer, saw her in Bristol, she had a very interesting act, and quite an interesting outfit too. Mmm, dominatrix . She can sing as well.

Also Michelle Trachtenberg, who plays Dawn in Buffy, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, who plays Buffy in Buffy, but most of all out of that lot, Eliza Dushku, who plays Faith in Buffy, now she's able. That'll do for now I guess.

I suspect mainly submissive, although obviously I've never had a chance to try anything. Hmm, now you've inspired me to search the guide for entries on bondage.

And that's out.

did you miss me! sorry! I wnent to an open day and for got to say...

Do you want a number for my non-appearance? whose?

What do you think i look like from what ive said on here, and then what would you like me to look like if i could be anything... Not your ideal women, unless you fancied me...

Some blokes do use those words and they're evil i tell you! evil as sin!

Evanescense dont sound great, but, she is stunning! Christina Ricci was the blonde in Sleepy Hollow, or Wednesday Adams? The other, im not sure what else she was in...

Is Goldfrapp trip-hop? cool.... yes, she is fine! I didnt think of her at all! but... yep. yum. Im not a buffy fan, but if any then willow.... now - blokes i like.. hmm. I dont like celebs, but... there's a film coming out soon about an weird christian cult, and the bloke from that... yum. Cant remeber his name, but wen i remember i'll tell you. Id love to be bound by him! But im both - Dominatrix and Submissive!

Erm... if u want it [email protected]

Course I missed you . Which open day?

Ooh, yeah, blonde in Sleepy Hollow definitely . Got the cute innocent look, pretty in a corset, got to wonder what she'd look like in leather boots .

Well, I've never tried visualising people from text, I'll get back to you on that seeing as I'm about to get kicked off.

Some blokes have no tact. Me included I'm afraid. I did call one girl evil and scary, well I thought she'd take it as a complement .

Don't like Buffy? . Ok its really rubbish, but it amuses me. Willow has its moments. Goldfrapp is trip-hop, yes. Personally her new album is my favourite this year, even beating Mr. Scruff. Did I mention her stage act? Yes I did. Well, its damned kinky.

You want to be careful about giving strange men your email address you know

Manchester open day... did you really really miss me? Im all flattered now!

Ricci is not innocent! She's got that mystical look to her and she is soooooooo sexy... mmmmmmmmmm. She's play me if there was ever a film about me

Ok - have you go tback to me yet?

I know a girl who would take evil and scary as a compliment... she's called rachel mountain ans shes odd.... but nice

Mr. Scruff is erm... amusing. You like counting crows?

Anyway - you're not a strange man! You're you... anyway, how much harm can you cause with an email address?

Well I wouldn't know if she's really innocent or not, I somehow doubt it, but she has that look in Sleepy Hollow. Anyway, me want .

Now what could you look like? You remind me of Jessy, who's short and slightly chubby with dark hair and rectangular glasses, then you say Christina Ricci would play you. So, I'll go for about 5'3, dark hair, maybe glasses, curvy.

Whale fish! Whale fish! Whale fish! Yeah, I like Counting Crows, despite them having the worst name of any band ever, and me not being able to understand any of their Americanisms. What on Earth can "its just the same hard candy you're remembering again," mean?

Odd people are often the nicest and most interesting.

Harm with an email address? Difficult one. Possibly subscribing you to a website containing illegal material.

By the way, do you ever use MSN Messenger or stuff like that?

Yeah, i use it on the odd occasion... but not that often coz i dont get much time, and stuff... Add me if you like...

me want ricci too.... mmmmmmmm. She's on my back drop. I'm just gona look at her... mmmmmmmmmmmm

You were close, but im not sure whether being called chubby is a nice or not. Im 5'9, dark brown hair, yes glasses and vvvvvvvvv curvy. Olive complection and blue eyes - foreign mediteranean look. Just had a thought, theres a pic of me on my msn profile if you wanted...

Wahey! I only got to know Counting Crows this summer when my mate hayles was playing it over and over. It was good. Do you like Ska?

If that is true about odd, then you are too! (compliment)

DO NOT SUBSCRIBE ME TO STUFF!!!! please!

Haven't heard any proper ska, only the ska-punk stuff, which I find more or less indistinguishable from pop-punk or nu-metal and no more listenable either I'm afraid.

Found the picture - its quite blurry, although definitely indications of curvaceousness .

Chubby probably isn't very complementary, but in the unlikely event that Jessy discovers and subscribes to H2G2, finds this thread and realises its me, she still knows I think she's gorgeous anyway.

hmmm well, i dont much like sca, but i think capdown and goldfinger are ok, so i asked... I mostly like rock indie...

yeah - i knew the pic was bad but it was the only one i cud think of. So... what u think? Im even more curvy now than then... boobs are waaaaaay to big.

Who's Jessy!?

Jessy is a friend of mine who lives in London, she sort of reminds me of you, so I my guess about what you might look at what sort of based on her, so she's the slightly chubby one .

Boobs are too big? I'm sure I can make another irrational sweeping generalisation here. Maybe something about women never being happy with what they've got?

I think you're going to have to let me see a better picture sometime though.

I have a bit of a problem with modern rock to be honest. Most of it is cheesy and unoriginal and generally 2nd rate compared to the stuff they had in the 60s and 70s. I do like Radiohead and Muse though, because they're generally interesting and original and don't get repetitive. I also like the Manic Street Preachers, who aren't often original and do get repetitive, but who're definitely not second rate and have some absolute classics. Plus they're fantastic live.

Well, if jessy is a friend then i dont mind being a reminder! lol...

Nah - u cant say that women are not happy with how they look, coz some of them (not all) do have a good reason why... anyway - i actually dolike having huge boobs... (34E)... its just they get in the way and tend to hurt...

I will get u a better pic... but when i find one and get my site back up. What sort would you like?

I dont like big bands... i like little ones no ones heard of, coz they are usually better, like Sleeper and Tom McRae and Saves the Day or The Living End...

They hurt? That can't be good, but at least you have an inbuilt pillow. The cup-size numbers mean nothing to me I'm afraid.

What sort of picture would I like? Hmm. Maybe something with a clingy transparant neglige...

Ok, sorry, couldn't resist .

Well I've heard of Sleeper, although haven't heard any of their stuff. Haven't heard of any of the others. The main problem with small bands is finding out that they exist. Well, without spending any money that is.

They hurt with no support hun. In the same way it hurts for a bloke to get his balls bashed in, it hurts a womans boobs... If thats an inbuilt pillow... how do i get to it? I can bend my head down to ly on them... so i end up with a bloke attached to my chest... *wonderful* Cup size... it goes like this, from small to large...
AA, A, B, C, D, DD, E, EE, F and so on... if it makes it easier...
a = almost, b = better, c = cute, d = d*mn good, e = enormous, f = fake...

you shouldnt joke about pics like that... what wud u do if i gave you one? (id need an email add first though!)

You heard of sleeper? thats good. Not many have... shes good. I find out about the odd bands on late night radio and music tv, and from friends. And swapping music with friends... most of my fave bands are from a mate called laura aka INA rock chick... lol

Set it as my background maybe? Well anyway, my email is [email protected] , and I live in hope . Ok, please don't kill me.

So those are the letters. What are the numbers for?

I have to say I've never understood breast implants. They don't always show up in photos, but they're really obvious when you see them move. I've heard tell that they don't feel very nice either.

I can't get MTV, and my radio is a wind-up one so I don't bother with it. I do hear about groups from friends, although I'm not sure exactly who are obscure since I don't really know most of the mainstream groups anymore. It works the other way too, I mean to me and to a lot of people Kraftwerk are sort of obscure, but they more or less invented modern dance music and electronica.

I can't remember where I heard of Sleeper, I haven't heard any of her music, just the name a some point.

hmmm - well... we'll see what we can do re pics. Cant promise the nighty, but well...

ok, the numbers are back sizes. so, 30 is small, then 32, 34, 36 etc.... up to 44ish... does that make sense?

I dont understand implants either! I mean im never gona need them! But then... i guess implants dont fall into you're armpits do they. They float in water and when you loie on you're back, they stand up...

I'venot heard of Kraftwerk... so erm...? But then i dont like dance music... my friend amira (who is standing next to me says she has... i must be abit naive)

So that's what a neglige is then. I just knew it was supposed to be revealing and the word is French and therefore vaguely exotic.

Yea, I now understand bra sizes. Is there a certificate?

Your breasts fall into your armpites? No comment .

I am learning things today .

Not a lot of people around our age have heard of Kraftwerk to be honest, yet they were probably the second most influential band ever, after the Beetles.