h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's better

Oh dear, today was a bad one.

Two of my suspected assailants have been wandering around the school openly. I had to be bundled into an office and out of sight. Obviously this made me less than happy - not only am I unable to walk around the streets safely, I'm not not able to walk around my job.

Then, later on, one of my more mentally-deficient colleagues was making a series of exceptionally unfunny jokes about how my attackers are nice guys. I call him a name - not a particularly bad one, but not really nice language for the workplace, and he puts in a 'gag' formal complaint, the problem obviously being neither I nor my line manager quite appreciated the joke.

So I've just stormed out of work, attracting the attention of the head as I go.

It might take a while to unsnarl this

Yeesh. Bad day.

Wandering around the school? Are the students or are they stalking you? Both concern me.

I hope your school tell your colleague exactly how 'funny' he is with a formal diciplinary. Stuff like that is beyond the pale.

Hopefully if problems are brought to a head (no pun intended), it will unravel rather quicker than if it were left to simmer.
The best of luck to you.

I'd suggest you and you line manager separately write up the incident (don't forget your trauma at seeing your suspected assailants wandering round your workplace). Do they attend the school or were they tresspassing? Were the police informed? Have the police questioned them?

Have a calm conversation with the head, by phone if necessary. If you are stressed, see a doctor. There's probably little to do about your insensitive colleague, unless he was defending violent attacks, trying to bully the victim, .....

In a nutshell, cover your own backside.

Take care and keep focussed

with Vip (I took a call)

Sorry if I came across a little strong there. My anger caught me a bit by surprise.

Well...your best course is honesty. Say that, in the circumstances, your colleagues remarks obviously hurt you. You're sorry if you acted inappropriately...but please remember the trauma you're still experiencing.

That should stick it to the bastard.

I'd actually written a resignation letter, which my line manager refused to accept. Said if that's what I want to do, I should get signed off sick until I get my next job and *then* resign. He saw how incredibly upset I was, knew I'd had a really crappy day and is pretty furious with the guy who was making the 'jokes'.

I'm a bit of a mess of emotions at the moment, which sucks. I'm really worried what would have happened if I'd have gone home without finding out the formal complaint was a 'joke' - it's not like I was happy before all of this blew up. I'm not being overly melodramatic when I say that it could have gotten truly tragic.

My assailants are former students and have been spotted around the site every day since the attack. This is the first time they've come inside though. Site security is an absolute joke, people can and do just walk in - the school is asking for another Dunblane or something similar.

I'm fighting so hard to keep myself together, to keep my life as normal as possible and not let this affect me, but it's taking so much out of me and it really doesn't take much to knock me off track. Once again, I had a really good day in the terms of the work I did and I'm feeling utterly miserable. I don't have that many good days, I need the buzz from them to get me through the bad days.

Need to make a decision as to whether I'm going in tomorrow...

Go and see a doctor, not just to get a sick note but to get his advice. Being attacked is very traumatic. Having your suspected attackers hanging around your place of work is extremely stressful. Ensure that police are informed.
Surely when these tresspassers come to the school the police can be informed. If the school authorities are not taking it seriously, they are failing to provide you with proper protection during your work.
Think twice (or even three times) before giving in your notice.
You have been attacked and hounded at your work place.
Write down what happens. Who you saw and when.

Listen to your doctor and talk with your RL friends. In another post I mentioned victim support; does it exist in your area? It could be really worth talking to people who know what you are going though.

If I were you I'd really try to take a few days to rest and relax, and think about things calmly.

Best of luck

Oi! What's all this about resigning? >steam>A talented and caring secular saint should *not* have to resign because some low lifes beat him to a pulp and a wit of a colleague wasbu too witted to keep his ing gob shut.

OK - so maybe you need some time out. You should not have to be running the gauntlet of your attackers. Anyone sane should understand what you're going through.

Obviously the complaint against you is malicious. A scared person covering their back after a serious error of judgement. So here's how you play it:

'I'm sorry...I'm sure they meant well...but maybe they just didn't realise I was actually quite scared of these guys swaggering around the school and I really wasn't in the mood for jovial banter.'

This is what's known in the trade as 'Passive Aggressive'. If you can carry it off deadpan, it'll be devastating.

I haven't got anything useful to say. It makes me angry to hear what is going on but that doen't help. At least you have your line manager on board - they can fight your corner for you (inless you want to, of course).

And, of course...you'll be in a union.

Local union reps may be useless, of course. But the pros are usually good.

I don't understand how you, as the victim, must bear all the emotional stress of this. And knowing you're a genuinely good guy makes the whole episode feel even more injust.

If you feel the need to get away, there's a spare room in our flat. Take a weekend away if you feel it might help. You'd be very welcome any time. (Except this weekend, because we're not here.)

It's the genuinely good people who *do* bear the stress. The ignorant louts doing this have their own little social group which 'takes pride' (sic) in their actions. They may (or not) have some fear of the police but police intervention is the natural sequence of events.

The sequence of events for HI isn't normal or natural, because he didn't do anything. It's hard to know what to expect next. That's why it's disgusting that HE has to defend himself from the system.

The co-worker: I agree with Ed except for one point, I wouldn't refer to that booby's 'jovial comments' but would say (in HI's position) that I didn't see it as an attempt at a joke, that the line manager didn't (if true) and that I still can't see how it could be perceived as a joke.

Leaving the school early : You didn't do that as much as get yourself out of a potentially dangerous situation. You've been attacked once and are still suffering from the injuries, when the louts started tresspassing were the police called? It seems that your co-worker wasn't going to provide you with suppport.
I understand that in the UK you have access to result-paid lawyers. If the school/education authority isn't supporting you for the trauma you experienced AT THE SCHOOL, worse if they're trying to make you feel that you're at fault, contact the lawyers.
This might not be your usual style (you might even think that it's something 'you'd never do'), look at it this way, any staff who get caught up in something like this in the future will thank you for the ground work.

The trial: Maybe I shouldn't mention it here and now, but this will also be a stressing experience (I speak from experience). If you have any 'legal' friends, talk to them now.

This 'fight' (the school, the trial) will probably actually help to make you feel strong again.

Whatever you decide (maybe you don't want the fight), let it be your decision, but a well-thought out decision that suits you and what you want (i.e. regain 'control' of the situation as much as possible).

I would really advise you to see a doctor and get some days off school. I'm not sure of your practice, but can't you phone the policemen taking care of your case to see whether they have been informed at this attempt at intimidation at the school.
Swaggering around, free as birds, is an attempt at intimidation.

Sorry to rant on, but it is disgusting when a victim is further victimized.

Have the best day possible and see some RL friends

Decided to go in: none of the possible options seem smart and if you can do something smart, at least do something right. And the work I'm doing is right. And it's only a half-day: there's advantages to working in a 99% Muslim school.

Got a mate taking me for lunch this afternoon and then a houseparty tomorrow. I'll get through this even if it's by dragging myself (or possibly others) kicking and screaming.

Your call!

If the head does decide to have a chat with you, don't forget to request police intervention if the louts show up again.

Enjoy life

The head does want to speak to me and I've been told to bring a union rep.

I don't see this ending well, perhaps I should have been allowed to resign yesterday...

Don't forget your trauma at seeing the suspects plus the insensitive remarks of your co-worker AND the lack of security at the school. Don't get angry and don't be drawn into saying something you might regret. Be unfailingly polite.
Take notes (if you feel you can't during the meeting, do so immediately after) no matter WHAT the head says

Good luck and I hope it all turns out well

I've been suspended on full pay pending an investigation.

Well...them's the breaks. They'll have gone into risk-averse Rule Following mode.

One thing to remember...your colleague was a Parvae Res Concordia Cres**** and, in your difficicult circumstances, your reaction was mild. *Stick To That Line*. It's the truth, and it's truth that's needed here. If you have anything to apologise for, it/s very, *very* little.

Have you put in your counter-grievance yet? You should.


Can you use some advice from a former TU lawyer (and former pupil of your school)? I've not spoken to my brother in a while, but I'll gladly dial him right this second.