h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Please find an excuse to go out and see people. Things are quiet here this time of the year come and talk to folk here you know you are welcome

Hi Bob, cheers for that, I do go out every day, just to get out of the house, but I don't get the chance to talk or interact with other people?

To cut a long story short, I've been ostracised by all my past wife's family, and since I've stuck in the house, for the past seven years, caring for her, I don't have any friends.

Smudger.

Smudger, don't you have a community centre, or some place where pensioners meet up for a meal, cuppa or chat?

Even a small workshop where handy people can make things, there is one near me called The Shed.

It could help you to get out and find friends if you have something similar near you


lil x

Sorry, it's called Men in Sheds

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/cheshire/our-services/every-man-needs-a-shed/


You might have similar close to you


lil x

You were in the Navy what about RN associations I thought they were were all over the place. You will have something in common

Cheers for your posts folks, I checked the Shed link, but there aren't any here in Scotland.

I will ask around about that pensioners meeting place, as I think there is one here, so I let you know how it goes.

I pop into that Maggie's cancer care centre in town, when things get too bad for me to cope, they are great, and always make folk welcome, that's where that group therapy was held yesterday.

Can't wait for the summer to come, so I can out more, that seems to be my goal just now, something to forward to, thanks again folks, much appreciated

Smudger.

Smudger, on a day to day basis I don't see many people either. I am only online between 7 and 8 in the evening usually to pick up emails and have a chat to anyone who is about.

i did wonder about your Britannia friends, do any of them know of your loss?

I know what you mean about not being able to write, I seem to have had complete writers block, and an inability to get on with things I know I should do, but I am hoping the first sign of snowdrops and longer days will bring some motivation.

I have family but but they are a distance away and have their own busy lives so I don't see as much of them as I would like. I missed out Christmas too, having the 'flu

Websailor

Cheers WS, yes I did inform the Britannia web site folk, but none of them live anywhere near me?

They have given me support via the web site, but there's not a lot they can do to help me in real time.

I go to that Maggie's centre quite a lot, but it's closed at the weekends, but if it wasn't for them, I would still be going for up to ten days without any human contact, like I used to do before?

That really pushed me to the edge at times, like the weekends still do?

Smudger.

I don't like the way we are a 24/7 society in lots of ways, but I remember hating weekends years ago do I know what you mean. At least most places are open weekends these days, at least down here in Brum and the Midlands generally.

Perhaps shopping at weekends instead of in the week might make a change or routine and maybe folk to talk to who are as isolated as you seem to be. Things will improve when the weather gets better I am sure.

I try to keep positive but every now and then I sink a bit, but it gets better.

Websailor

Cheers for that WS, I'm so looking forward to the good weather to come, so I can get out more, really hope I make it till then?

I do go out every day, but even in a crowded shopping precinct, I still feel lonely.

I'm really fighting dark thoughts just now, and even keeping myself busy, they are still there, haunting me?

Smudger.

Its a bit drastic and its just an idea... but could you face the thought of moving or a long out of season holiday. Only you can tell if this a good idea

Smudger, the only way through is to take one day at a time honestly and i rather think it is too early to make any major decisions while you are still traumatised, even if it were possible. Sorry Bob.

Of course you will make it - I read a quote the other day - 'whether you say you can or you can't, you will be right' Much the same as you can actually choose to be happy or sad andit mkes a difference.

I wake up in the morning and do a check - I can see, hear, speak and move so I count myself lucky. I can do what I like without inconveniencing anyone else and that is great deal more than a lot of people have.


I have to keep telling myself that when I am down, which I have been today. The snow has gone, and strangely that made made me sadder as the light is dull. Down here snow makes people nicer and it is sometimes the only time they speak


Take care,

Websailor

It was just an idea dont worry. You are right snow dose improve the quality of the light

Aye! Bob, I remember Mk2 telling me that there will be enough money left over, after paying for her burial, for me to go on a holiday.

But unfortunately, she gave our life savings away to her kids, along with everything of value that we owned, as her family had convinced her that I had been cruel to her, and she passed over hating me. I was even investigated by social service and the police?

In fact, I never got the chance to say goodbye to her, as her family had told the hospital staff not to allow me in to visit her.

I think that's what is causing the pain I'm going through now?

Smudger.

I am sure it is Smudger, but I can't see there is anything you can do which wouldn't make matters worse, so somehow you have to find a way to put it behind you. Very sick people such as Mark ll haven't the fight left in them, or are so confused they don't know what is what.

I said before dwelling on it only hurts you, not them. Don't let the grind you down.



Websailor

I really try and forget about a all that, but it's hard, I go to the Maggie's centre nearly every day, and that does make a vast difference to me.

At least I'm thinking of a future now, which is a step in the right direction, I'm making plans to finish off that job at the back of the house.

Smudger.

That is good news. Difficult, tell me about it. Four years on I still get recurring memories I would rather forget. I have to find something to do which requires a high level of concentration. which usually works.

The daylight is getting better here and I am starting to feel a bit brighter. I guess you are not getting it yet being further North. I a just watching for my snowdrops to come through then I will feel a bit better

Freezing cold here, tempting to stay by the fire but I mustn't!

Take care,

Websailor

Aye! I can't wait for the longer days to arrive, it seems to have been a really long winter this year?

I've been reading the hand outs they gave me on the group therapy for bereavement, and it's been really helpful, and made me feel more positive now,

Smudger.

Sounds better suppose that it will be slow, we are here if you need company

Anything positive helps, like I said one day, or one step at a time and you will get there.

Websailor