h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

F1926355?thread=5859789&post=92305262#p92305262
there you go Terridone

I don't believe this, on top of all ther other health stuff i've had this year, i now appear to have shingles!!!

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/slideshow_shingles_pictures/article_em.htm

Plus a urinary tract infection, plus inflamed throat; i had assumed that feeling generally yuk was just usual seasonal flu stuff....till the blisters appeared.

So; i had better get onto the visitors, check if they are sure they've had chickenpox, check the female isn't pregnant...meanwhile Doc has given me a carrier bag full of meds; here we go again.

Apparently most folk over 50 get this at some stage, usually triggered by stress, fatigue stuff. i've been advised to "stay warm generally (but not hot water bottles, the blisters are round my waist & back), avoid stress, eat well & have someone care for you while you stay in bed "

Tell that to the animals while P's away again someone, please!!! (Or keep the fire going...)

Anyone else had shingles?

(You can only get it if you never had chickenpox)

zdt

You can only get shingles if you HAVE had chicken pox. I've had both. Shingles is pretty rare- besides myself, I only know one other person who's had it, and that's K's grandfather.

My uncle had shingles and I think Gosho had shingles, but I'll let him confirm that.

I know they are not pleasant.

My aunt had it very badly and so did my Dad. Take care of yourself, and rest as much as possible (Yes, I know, but there must be some things you don't HAVE to do?!)

Websailor

PS Psychocandy is right, you have to get chickenpox first then ever after it will only surface as shingles. Read the text box again

Websailor

Yes, you are right; i had chickenpox as a kid, have the scars to prove it!

But as far as i can tell, i could transmit chickenpox to them via shingles *if* they haven't had chickenpox; especially risky for pregnant women, very young kids, elderly & those with immune system weakened by for example AIDS or cancer treatment. (which is not the sort of stuff i would ask a stranger)

What complicates things even more is: tonight i definitely got dumped; so have to try & find some means of supporting myself, finding accomodation, storing remaining posessions, wondering whether new situation means i keep Yoda & puppy etc; very quickly, whilst not daring to risk human contact & feeling like *sit* (insert an 'H')

Sometimes i wish i had a nice, easy, terminal disease, rather than some sort of social malignancy. Or am i just attracted to neurotic people?

zdt

In all honesty, I do think you tend to gravitate toward neurotic people... but I don't think you do it in a co-dependent or inherently unhealthy sort of way.

I strongly suggest trying to sort some kind of income and staying on as a tenant or something... unless there is some kind of social assistance you are eligible for at this point. I'm not sure what has transpired- am willing to discuss elsewhere if you are able.

Can't get onto facebook, can't remember my password, am rather in a state, probably the best method is via gmail chat or gmail email?

Thanks for being there, my wooh.

zdt

I *think* my Dad passed it on to me and kids as chickenpox as we hadn't had it. He had just come out of hospital so it wasn't the other way round.

Terri, I am so sorry. No wonder you have shingles!! I hope you can sort something out to give yourself a breathing space. Are you being 'evicted' or is is the stressful situation which means you have to leave pronto.

Take care and keep in touch if you can. You have my email if you need to vent, assuming you have internet access.



Websailor

Thank you both Webbie & PC for your kind words; it means a lot. I've seen this coming for a while; in *my* view; he has lived alone for so long, had so many failed relationships & is seeking some sort of dream companion; he will probably never handle the faults/needs side of someone else on a regular basis.

He is honestly a *good* person; which somehow makes it worse; but finds communication difficult; not a language thing, more a pre-progammed childhood thing. We actually share loads of 'dysfunctional family' stuff,which, on one hand, draws us together, but we've dealt with it in different ways.

I 'trained' myself to communicate & to cry, despair, but talk about it; he did the opposite keep it all in, big boys don't cry"....it must be very difficult to cope with the opposite approach;but he is maybe going over the top with me, i can't haandle angry screaming & throwing things around when he's frustrated; it scares me (even though i know he would never harm me physically, beacuse of *my*past stuff;i feel threatened.)

Plus i confess, i am rather a 'control freak'; it drives me wild when he just disappears, when i've spent ages making a meal, with no means of re-heating it etc. Eco-farmhouse = spending half the day at least simply keeping it reasonably warm & clean: i totally agree with the principle, but in practice, it's bloody difficult especially with limited mobility.

Plus: a point we discussed today: neither of us has any close RL fiend within access other than (for me) phoneVal!) or "you lot" via internet; he's only really got folk he meets on his business trips & his ex-GF, son...a complicated issue that one...

I dunno; if i leave him to fester & fume, he may change his mind tomorrow;meanwhile, i continue to live in Limbo-Land, not knowing whether to organise "my"???? room &finally make some stuff, or just stash it all into boxes (don't have suitcase) & yet again.

Yeah; not surprising i have shingles!

zdt

P sounds very much like my other half. Buttoned up and only releases tension with temper tantrums - but that's what they are. The thing that bugs me is that he forgets quickly and expects me to do the same Yes, and being basically a good person makes it even harder. We have survived nearly forty years, and I still don't know how!

Is he someone that can't cope with illness? Lots of people can't. If he is looking for perfection (in his eyes) he will wait forever, there is no such thing in humans.

Thinking of you, it must be h*ll at the moment. Don't do anything too decisive till you are over the shingles.

Websailor

Sigh! I am REALLY sorry to hear you have shingles now as well, Terri! My mom had them some years ago ... very painful and unfortunately very slow to get over! In fact she says she still has some of the symptoms ... she wishes you all the best and hopes you heal faster than she did!

Sigh ... really sorry to hear that with P things now seem to have ended finally. As someone who has *never* had anything even remotely resembling a romantic relationship ... I can't really tell you a thing! BUT ... in my mom and dad's marriage ... which at the end proved to be a very successful one, lasting 40 years and truly being 'until death do you part' ... they did communicate. My father has had a traumatic childhood, and we all knew about it. We talked about our problems ... when my own problems started, we talked about them, also, very much. I do believe communication is essential.

Then there's the thing about wanting the 'perfect' person. Likely for most people in the world, no such person exists! Taking my mom and dad again ... they proved to be extremely compatible ... but it wasn't in the form of perfect in-love-ness all of the time, and certainly, they were two separate people, each with known and acknowledged imperfections, at least some of the time having conflicting interests, but in the end, adapting, with respect for each other. My mom never, as far as I know, have had to give up a dream she had, for the sake of my dad ... and neither did he have to give up a dream for her. They were two people in life whose love consisted in chosiing to stay together and help each other out. And that's what they did, and it worked.

Sorry Websailor, I should have noted that you already spoke about the inattainability of perfection! Anyways ... what you say about your hubby ... I think is a very common situation even in 'successful' marriages and relationships. Lots of bottled-up stuff, not much communication ... but people still make do. I can't speak on h2g2 about all the totally botched up relationships of friends and family over here ... only say that I've known incredible stupidity in such things, as well as absolutely amazing tolerance some spouses and partners have shown to 'mates' that behaved absolutely deploringly.

Sorry, in the last sentence I mean deplorably! My English seems to be coming apart at the seams ...

Don't worry about it Willem, we all do it sometimes, more than sometimes in my case At least I have the excuse of being a

My other half was in the Signals in the Army, attached to SAS and I believe a lot of his reticence is bred in him from those days, or perhaps they picked him 'cus he could keep his mouth shut I have learned to live with it and respect it mostly.

Websailor

Thaanks, my dear fiends; it hzlps enormously that you have had similar experiences & drawn the same conclusions.

Maybe 'us lot' are somewhat more realistic about relationships? P doesn't seem to realise that it can't be perfect all the time; i'm NOT perfect, neither is he, but that doesn't mean the love goes, just that the other one may be p'sed off with the actual behaviour of the other person at times.

I just spoke to his ex, mother of his son by phone, she says he's always beeen like this "leave him alone & he"ll come home; waggibg his tail behind him" basically.

B, the young french student has arived *two daays early*!!! He seems very nice & P just took him out (with ) to show him basic layout of farm; hopefully there may be some 'male bonding' plus i can squeak to him in Froggish, so i get some company too.

We both feel hhe should *not* be aware there are 'issues' between us; not fair on him.

One thing is clear; being in this situation of financial dependency & transport dependency; ie: no way for me to meet RL folk unless P gets me there, isn't good for me or him. I feel strongly that one person cannot be the sole outlet for another persons needs.

I've joined a website which does online surveys, you get points, which transfer into cash eventually, plus free samples to test. Plus i have volunteered for the local branch of samaritans; they are desperately short of volunteers for the night shift; which is when many despairing folk need it most & since i am awake most nights....

Don't see what else i can do really right now. I've removed my kitchen stuff into my room; he can discover how to make meals for two or more people using his basic, very basic own stuff (I think i am allowed at least a bit of revenge (served cold)!

The s*dding shingles is literally a pain; but i am fairly used to pain, Doc reckons the worst will be over in a few days, but worried about post-shingles nerve damage, i am on anti-virals etc.

This is like ; they all come at once.

So, how about "you lot"? Any horror stories<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<:wonderful news?

zdt

I treat life like a toilet, anything bad and I just flush it awaydon't keep negative err crap

it's just that over the earlier years of my life,I became impervious to negative thoughts

<> My thoughts exactly Terri, but it takes some people a long time to learn that, and some never do. Hang in there Gal, things might get better. Don't forget people take their frustrations out on their nearest and dearest, because they can

Hope you will soon be feeling better

Websailor