h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ok, maybe I'm from Ponte and Yorkshire, but what is a " the concierge was"??bouncer/doorkeeper

No, Micio does not have such a fancy cat playground!

The concierge is usually a very fierce & extremely nosy woman; who is deeply suspicious of all her tenants & will spend many hours watching comings & goings then reporting them to other concierges, so basically the whole town ends up knowing what you *may* be up to, whether or not it's actually true.

I suppose it could be seen as a peculiarly French version of "Neighbourhood Watch"!

Aww, so Micio's playground is presumably simply the entire room, no doubt including the computer!

Yoda has decided the extremely small box (we are talking 4 inches square here!) is the most fun & squashes into it & stares out of the window looking pathetic "My mummy is so cruel she stuffed me in this tiny box" & waits for passers by to go "Awwwwwwwwww!"

Still feeling pretty but possibly not so much as yesterday. I am usually lucky & shake these things off fairly quickly, bizarre side effect of the demyelin thing in my case, 'cos my immune system is in overdrive it usually wipes invading bugs out quickly, but it's no fun while it's happening!

Got my appointment for hospital MRI scan, it's November 3rd. I wonder howlady Karen is doing, she has her op today.

Watched with horror on the news last night, serious rioting in the part of Birmingham i grew up in:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1840543,00.html

And i see the sick parrot really WAS sick, Monty Python Flu cannot be far behind!

And i see the latest hurricane has got to Florida. to all over there, at least this time the warning time was greater.

I have been invited out for a drink tonight, 'cos i am doing someone a favour (don't ask, no, it's not a sex type favour!!!) but he will have to come & fetch me; the Bloody Knee won't permit hobbling even to the nearest decent bar now! It would be nice to get out for a change for something other than hospital & social work appointments & shopping. Maybe a bit silly though, i could infect people, not very responsible!

And of course viking is deeply suspicious, but he can't have it both ways can he? (restrain yourselves you naughty people, no, he can't, not with a buggered up knee!)

We shall see.

zdt

Hope you get to go out for that drink tonight. Be careful with the knee and stay safe!

I'm feeling a little under the weather, too- the jabs usually make me a little bit , and there's been something icky going around work. Of course, I handle a lot of paperwork that everyone else has touched (and sneezed/coughed on, etc), so I figure I'm due. I feel a little better than yesterday but still kind of wiped out. Tuffy UK is practicing tonight, though, so I can crash pretty much right after dinner, if I like, and not feel like I'm missing out on anything. I'm sure Herman will keep me warm.

OK, I had better head out to work... hope you get out tonight and have a good time. Everyone else have a great day (or what's left of it where ever you are!)

The flu has definitely arrived here; Patrick N has it tooViking cannot be far behind, god help the world, or maybe not? "It's No good sulking,you CAN'T have flu!"

NAG"Hands up all those who have booked or had their jabs eh?" I know Lil has (she's a good girl she is) & PC (who knows what a nasty bully i am!)What about the rest of you? OY! Animal! You can stop hiding under the table, go phone the right now!

And skankyman, yes, you, stop screaming at Manuel; don't give me this "aww no credit on my phone" crap, the hotel has phones, go & get sharp object stuck into you.

Mort?You lurking? Get the flu jab!

*terri on secondment from WHO*

Skankydawg has eaten Patrick's best shoes & redesigned his garden; this can only be a temporary solution to the dog versus knee problem.

Waiting around here, yet again, for some poor sucker to take me shopping. This is getting very tedious for all concerned.

zdt

I am fuming. I am also talking to a bloody brick wall probably. This is hardly the most entertaining thread on hootoo since all i seem to do these days is moan, but sod it, why should just one or two of you get burdened with me whinging when i can spread the load to half the world!

People p**s me off so much these days. Somebody i know only very vaguely phoned me up a couple of days back & asked me to use my contacts to get him something. I agreed; i am just like that, if someone needs a favour & i can do it, i will do so; just as if i have food & drink & cigs, i will share them.

So: have used *my* phone to organise something; but it can't happen tonight. This person lives a bit out of town, but is not exactly short of money (owns about 20 properties here). He said earlier "i will be in town anyway on business, i will take you for a drink", i said "great stuff, but actually i need taking to the shops more urgently, is that possible?"

"yeah, no probs, i will ring you when i arrive; meanwhile can you keep trying to sort the other business out?"

So, i have been sitting here all day doing that, it's not easy. Ring him to say "not tonight, but in a few days time"

Incidentally, i am making no personal profit on this deal; all i am asking is a lift to the shops.

So, ask him "Well, what time for this drink, would you like to eat here first, after we have been shopping, i'll start making food now"

"Nah,already been into town, if the other business isn't possible tonight i can't be a*sed coming into town again; just ring me when it's sorted."

Oh wow. What a nice person. He gets sent to Mardy Island & can do his own business deals from now on i think.

So then i phone viking who says "phone me back, i am at the cash desk"; he is out buying cheap videos (yup, the guy who can't afford a phonecard!)

I phone him back "no, i am not coming round tonight, ring me later"

No doubt the lure of nice new videos. Quite possibly i may not ring him.

If i had the bloody money to do so i would be out getting but since i don't, i will no doubt be on here moaning like hell. You have been warned.

And K texted to say "am back in town, off out for a drink, phone me tomorrow"

*note: not "Do YOU want to join us?" I have been doing my very best to help her with the house problem, as the owner of two large houses & a Porsche, i reckon she could at least stand me a

Off to bash hell out of the bass; only Mescaleros full blast is saving my sanity right now; plus Lil on MSN & abbi on email; to ALL "you lot"! I sometimes feel i am surrounded by a community of RL utter selfish twats, Patrick N & Ollie excepted, but both those work so hard they are not exactly available very often, i feel guilty bugging them all the time.

Oh, & apparently Himthing is back on the booze bigstyle.i can understand why. If i was able to get to the bar i would join him in drowning his sorrows; not the right answer, but hell, better than sitting here feeling murderous.

zdt

Well, tis person who you helped with contacts sounds pretty rude, offering to do something for you and then renegging last minute.

Viking having money for videos and not phone cards doesn't surprise me: you and I both know where his priorities lie, and it's only important to him that he phone you, when *he* needs something. No doubt you'll "owe" him a favor for his dealing with the pervert.

I'd take you out or at least pop by for a visit if only you were a bit closer to my route home from work. Glad the Mescaleros are helping- K is going to stop by the post office on his way home from work tomorrow or Wednesday and post another little parcel to you, and there's more Mescalero goodness in there.

Ooooh yipppeee!!!!! Can you get K to put a little note in telling me the biodata/timescale stuff, 'cos i am confused as to when JS started up with them & the Clash connection, i only knew him when it was "1 O 1'ers" then evolved into Clash.

I am amused 'cos on the talkie bits, he sounds actually quite posh, he doesn't sound like that in RL, he has "poshed up"; which is bizarre, you would think he would do the opposite as a punk icon!

But such a genuinely nice bloke! Gives one hope, yup, they exist; just a question of finding them!

i am going to HAVE to drag me & Bloody Knee out for&food, what a total pi**er; i reckon another day or so of real rest would have got it in decent shape for this MRI thing. Honestly, if i could just rest it, i am pretty sure nature would sort it out. But now down to the "last week of month" syndrome again, which always involves lots of physically trawling around to make $30 go a very long way. Can't get to El Cheapo supermarket, so spend hellish amounts more on just basic stuff, total pain in bum.

But if i am not being houred with the gracious presence of Godzilla The Snail tonight, i shall drink the i bought yesterday for him!

Student on holiday next week; which is highly inconvenient.

zdt

Ta! Terri, for "The concierge", just like a woman in our street, want to get something passed about, tell her a secret

JJJJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

If i was fuming before, you should see me now; i have never been so angry in all my life!

K has just arrived back in france; as i mentioned a few posts back. She is accompanied by 3 gorilla type builders; two of whom she has merrily bonked, whilst being supposedly attached to the father of her soon to be born babe. (Who is not her longstanding junkie boyfriend)

Fair enough, it's her life, have never criticised her for this; it's not my style to cast nasturtiums, i live in a glass house.

BUT as an "unsupported mum to be" in a non english speaking country (her french is non existent) i feel a bit of a duty to be supportive. She texted me to say "someone has broken in & stolen a case of beer"

Then twice more, sounding very panicky. I phoned her back (UK mobile of course £££) no reply. Texted "are yu OK?" no reply. Started panicking, maybe she has a in the house?

Hobbled round to her house. The lodger said "she is out somewhere with the gorillas" so i traipse round every bloody bar & restaurant in town, eventually find them at the last one.

I do"You Ok?" stuff & she then turns round & accuses ME of nicking her f**king!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are JOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have many faults but theft has never been one of them; i am utterly outraged. And this in PUBLIC, she only visits here; i have to live here. And one of the gorillas was particularly unpleasant "ah, sod off, this is a bitch thing, you are giving me indigestion!"




Hobble back home, just turned key in door & who pops up out of nowhere? You guessed it, Viking. "You claim you have a bad knee but you've been out on a pub crawl!"


JJJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Has he been stalking me or what? He claims he "just passed by" oh really?

I have tried to explain the Karen thing, he obviously doesn't believe me & has stomped off "i will be back"; oh wow, i am looking forward to that more than i can say.

God, i am surrounded by total lunatics. I cannot believe my life at times.

zdt*about to explode*

What is wrong with people??? If only there was a way to not need to bother with them anymore

Especially the K woman, who seemed at once to be quite nice and now sounds flaky at best, and definitely two-faced. You're better off without people like that.

As for Viking... what business is it of his why/when/how often/with whole/for what purpose you leave your own f***ing house???

Quoit.

I am sick to death of the lot of them, except for Patrick N, who is a gem; & Ollie who is just basically a decent but hard working bloke.

Viking reappeared after his litttle sulky session in a bar (er, wish i could afford to sit in a bar) & moaned 'cos only one beer in the fridge & then we got the "stop criticising me" speech; honestly, he is so bloody silly, i won't even bother to bore you with details of the rest of it.

I am simply so bloody fed up with the whole situation.

Hospital appt has been rearranged for 8th Nov at a more civilised hour, thanks once again to Patrick N; honestly, if he wasn't such a good friend i don't know what i would do. Probably end up like viking; great quote tonight when he was whinging about me asking him to help with shopping "If i die tomorrow nobody will care; if i break my leg, nobody would help me, i don't care"

How bloody stupid can you get? He has one true friend in the world who *would* care; ME; and he is chucking it away. Yet again it's ended up with me giving up in exasperation & saying "OK, just go home then, "It's no good sulking, you CAN'T have a relationship."

Gawd, honestly, days like this make you despair!

zdt

I know all too well- you'll remember I had a friend who pulled the emotional blackmail and the "I'm too pathetic (in this case, the truth was LAZINESS and not mentalness, but I can relate all the same) to make my own way so you must give me endless financial help, so I can stab you in the back when you can't afford to give any more".

A friend of mine gave me a little gift a couple of months ago when yet another messed-up person I thought of as a friend stabbed me in the back... it's a little placard with a psychotically grinning bunny and it says "I'm not insensitive. You're just a crybaby." Sounds like you could use one, too.

Just whizzing by *waves to all*
Glad to know the date of your next appointment Terri - I was wondering

Oooh, abbi sighting! You arefast these days!

Yes, he is a crybaby, he did the "head in hands/i'm so depressed" trick tonight but i'm afraid it got very short shrift from me, he was lucky not to get conked over the head with a blunt object actually "here chum, have a DIY lobotomy, feel better now?"

As for K, have just written an email to her friend in UK, H; who lives here part time explaining the situation:

<<<Karen arived today with her team of 3 builders. She texted me to say "just got here after exhausting 15hr drive"; i phoned her back (UK mobile!) to say a quick hello & see what she was up to. Was supposed to be meeting up with an English guy tonight who is interested in property here, so mentioned this in case it could be useful for her.

A couple of hours later got a text saying some beer has disappeared from her house.

Then another one, which seemed to indicate to me she was distressed, still on about the beer, but i got worried, thought maybe there was a bad situation happening. Concerned for her, phoned (££££!!!!) no answer.

Another text "this is costing me a fortune" Texted reply "where are you?" cos by now seriously concerned about her, confused 'cos didn't know if she was alone, or had come over with Glynn & Les (?is it Les or Chris?); she has said previously "oh they are pissheads & Les is a prat 'cos he told everyone we bonked", so thought maybe if they had arrived in advance they had drunk this beer & were in a bit of a state.

No reply so, despite having been told to rest the knee, went hobbling round to the house, Philippe says "she's out somewhere with the guys" so i go searching every bar & resto in town. Eventually find her & 3 (not two) guys & do the "are you ok?" bit

She then accuses ME of nicking the beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I find this unbelievable. I thought of her (previously) as a friend. I am very very insulted & absolutely livid. She should certainly not do this sort of thing in public either, i have to live here, she only visits occasionally.

I am NOT a thief; never have been, never will be.

And in purely practical terms, i don't have a key, am not buddies with Philippe so am not popping round there. I assume she is talking about a case of beer, not just a bottle or two, how could i carry it? The last time i was there was with Patrick N, Olivier & Viking, to try & help her sell her house. I have done my damndest to help her do whatever is best with the house problem & this is how she repays me?

I am utterly disgusted with her behaviour. Plus her latest hired gorilla is pretty offensive "Sod off, this is bitch stuff, you are giving me indigestion!"

I know she is your friend, maybe you understand her better, but i am not putting up with this sort of stuff. Maybe you could have a quiet word with her & explain that this really isn't on. Please reply to say you got this email & let me know what's going on. I have no intention of speaking to Karen & certainly not to those men.

Viking & Patrick N are both very annoyed about this too & so will Olivier be when i tell him tomorrow.>>>

Mardy Island is filling up rapidly.

zdt"It's no good sulking, you CAN'T have another beer, someone pinched them!"

236 post backlog!

Have I missed anything good???

Hi all!

Some of Terri's acquaintances back home are giving her a real pain in her ass. A couple have proven to be royal s. And if I had the money to book a flight to Angouleme, I'd be on my there to inflict some greivous bodily harm upon them.

It's been quiet around here today, though...

I'd join you, if I could
She deserves better

Honey, if i could wave a wand, me & you would be kicking half this town into a small crap filled pit tonight together.

Latest: Godzilla The Snail (anagram on viking frog) has off once more; undoubtedly to The Ex; please send her lots of, though she is apparently even more verbally abusive to him than me. Possible she too has been treated to lies just before serving up of supper "oh, my son phoned, gotta go see him"....unfortunately i know where his son lives & he ain't at home.

Karen texted. Quelle bloody surprise. Now, this isscience time, concentrate carefully my friends:

IF you leave a case of in the custody of your tenant who is a self confessed recovering alcoholic; when you return a month later, what are you likely to find?

Yup, gold all you lot; a no longer recovered alcoholic & definitely no

Makes more sense than accusing your mates really dunnit?

And creepy dogwalker is plagueing me again; texts & actual visits, oh joy. He really has no idea how hard a blow from a blunt object in the nuts can be ( i am refraining from knee stuff on health grounds)

But on the plus side, viking took me shopping, without even being asked; could be a bit of self interest though, Man With No Beer In Fridge tends to revert to primary logic type stuff. But means Yoda has food now & me has, so immediate crisis averted. And if viking has flung himself on tender(!!!) mercies of ex, she can damn well feed him.

Life is a bowl of cherries, but unfortunately some of them are mouldy.

zdt