h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh yippeee, people playing on my thread; welcome to the beer swilling quptation quoting peeps.

*NBY insists that typo stands. Poor thing, it's getting very tired & demanding to sit. Do *not* insert an H into that. Let's talk about bowels.

I shall pass you over to NBY:

Do *not* insert anything where NBY sits. Pleqse. Why Terri wishes to discuss bowels in completely unknown to me. I'm not asking.

Back to Terri.

"There is a world of difference between anus & a nurse." *Proctology the Elder.

Today has been domininated by discussion of ball maladies. I am going quietly & very very zennily mad. Later i may do the noisy version.

Back to NBY:

Terri obviously needs more . If this has been the quiet version, I sincerely hope that I have left the continent before the noisy version begins.

ZDT here again:

*Meanwhile; it is the last episode of Frog version of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here" & they are gobbling insects. Thank goodness the BBC is far more sensible:


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2151851,00.html

They are adopting a policy. Jolly good. Treize bean. No relation to Sean.

*No Celtic actors were harmed in the posting of this message. Unfortunately. Do send me one or two. Pierce Brosnan will do to be going on with.

zdt

Hey there, my wooh!

Been reading along with interest for several days, though I don't have enough time during the week to keep up with backlong.

K's been busy finishing up some musical biscuits for you: The Easybeats, Les Fluer de Lys, the Pretty Things, Opal, Status Quo, H.P. Lovecraft, the Blue Things, and perhaps we'll include Barry & the Remains, the Silos, an Indo-Jazz disc by the Joe Harriott Double Quintet, Alex Chilton, and Shocking Blue. You did request mellow stuff... also in that package will be an assortment of discs and a cassette by local acts (friends and acquainances), the Jools Holland CD I bought and don't need, a classical comp CD, and a David Bowie cassette. As well as some bits and bobs suitable for cheeseboxes, I hope.

Package #2 contains various dry spices.

Hope you are all having fun over there this weekend!

I think on the whole we are probably having more fun than Keith Richards, who has somehow managed to fall out of a palm tree. Not surprisingly, he landed on his head, but apparently it was a few days before anybody noticed a change in consciousness; he is "mildly concussed" poor thing. This must be very traumatic since usually he is almost totally concussed.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4957948.stm

Here in sunny Angoulême we are Gardening. I shall pass you over to NBY to explain in a nutshell. I tried & lost my posting in a haze of total nonsense.

***

Terri went out to purchase some beer and some wine. She returned with begonias and flower pots. To the best of my knowledge, she does not have the excuse of having fallen out of a palm tree.

Terri had some help in potting the plants. Said helper made sure that everybody in the vacinity, including some passing nuns, was aware that begonias Do Not Like Sunshine and that Terri is a Murderer Of Flowers.

I shall leave you all with this Deeply Philosophical Question. Who put Keith Richards in the palm tree?

In my own opinion there can only be three suspects!!

#1 The alcohol

#2 The pot

#2 The crack

They should be taken in for a good interogation to find out which,who,why,how many and when they where involved...

It sounds like y'all are having fun!

I'm all 3

a crackpot who loves alcohol

Keith Richards apparently has decided having a total blood transfusion every couple of weeks is the answer to Life, the Universe & Everything. He could well be right.

We think it's highly likely 2legs is to be blamed for chasing poor Keef up to the relative safety of a palm tree.

At this end, we are Degenerating into Sulk; not yet Mega, but that can't be far behind. Evil, vindictive zendevil has spent most of today preparing food, & changing things to accomodate the varying by the moment dietary needs of a "fat"(???!!!) & indecisive viking.

And yes, eventually i ended up screaming "well sort it yourself/eat/don't eat/have a sandwich/" stuff. I am truly evil personified.

zdt

Well, at last it's been confirmed. Keith Richards is out of his tree.

Jab

I'd hazard a guess that you might actually qualify for sainthood, based purely on your overall willingness to accomodate the ever-changing whims and requirements. But that's just me.

Around Chez PC, if you don't like what one person is having, you're always welcome to make yourself something that suits you. Or put a sock in it.

Putting a sock in it could be construed as a pleasurable thing & he has left a pair of odd socks here & Kidnapped the White American Ones.

He has departed to watch a film about the Evils of Internet Mind Control. "that's us lot"

He has taken a plate of splodge (with permission)

Kidnapping is the Word of the week. I shall pass you to NBY who will elucidate further.

**

The missing corks have returned or, at least, reappeared at about the same time as viking's last reappearance.

Does it strike anyone else as odd that he has kidnapped the white American socks but left the white American?

Yoda has just reacted very poorly to having been mentioned in the same sentence as 2legs. The topic was "who is to blame for the disappearance and reappearance of the corks?"

This, alas, may be our last collaborative post, since I leave in less than 24 hours. It's a sad day, really.

Whatever will I do for entertainment without the Terri and Viking show?

***zdt back pack viking into a suitcase & exchange for decent American socks?????

Anyway, he has trundled off again, so bets are back on.

***

NBY again. A Major Consideration may or may not be my time of departure. Other considerations are the fact that tomorrow is Mayday, so all of the shops will be closed and he has left the tobacco (purchased by Terri)here. The trains will be running and the train station does sell tobacco. Will he or won't he show up to offer me a ride to said train station? If he does show up, will he have Terri's plate with him? Will Terri break the plate over his head?

Viking's physical condition seems to have improved. He now states that only his left ball hurts.

Back to Terri.

I have ways of changing this situation.

BETTING:

Terri: Double bet: either 10pm tomorrow (Monday) to gloat as NBY departs OR Thursday when he assumes i am lost & lonely.

NBY: 11:00 pm tomorrow, after the taxi has been called but before it has arrived.

zdt/NBY

We have a regular pipistrelle who feeds about 30 yards from my back door. E suggested we call it Terri (or it might be Terry, it's hard to sex s when they're whizzing about your head in the dark). So we have

Not related to anything you've posted, but thought you'd like to hear

OOOOOOOOOOohhhhh i am a sexeless ohmigod. This is Good News. i shall cawl the Mormons.

How do you sex a ? (assuming it is a consenting adult of course; anything else could be construed as inter-species under-age abuse)

***
NBY here

And what if the bat has gender identity issues? Does one sex the bat based only on the sort of body in which it is trapped?

zdt

You see if it's got a willy, just like you do with any mammal. But if you're just going to take the p**s, it can be just another pip amongst many rather than the one that reminds me of you. Just thought you might appreciate the thought, oh well...

All of the shops are closed on MayDay? Is that a widespread practice in Europe? Well, I never. That doesn't happen here.

Although numerous businesses were closed- or at least very short on employees- yesterday during the large boycott by immigrant workers in protest of proposed immigration laws.

(Personally, it's my opinion that one quite effective way to eliminate a large number of illegal immigrant workers is to give immigrants who are working legal status... but that's a discussion for another place and another time...)

That Viking is sure a one. Terri, you are a saint.

Ye gods!!! I got into hootoo!!! And landed on my own space!!! The next thing you know, i will be able to post????

Skanky-wooh, i tried most of yesterday to reply to you; i am delighted to be compared to a pipistrelle; after all:

"pip" = close to "pipe" & we all know what that means in frogsqueak

"ist" = well, let us not neglect the Germans and...

"R" = well, obviously Bats R us

"elle" = she

And i do squeak quite a lot. Haven't quite mastered hanging upside down yet though.

Yes,PC, i think NBY would agree i am indeed a saint. Viking himself would agree also. At one point, when we were all discussing his complicated psychological problems; he declared "It is very simple: I am maybe the next Pope, i am definitely God, i am possibly a closet lesbian. But i am unique. And Terri is Mother Teresa"

NBY reckons it's worth having him floating around simply for the amusement value. The nuns love him. They wander past the house with beatific expressions, they may catch a glimpse of my pussy in the window, or a Jesus impersonator tending my begonias, or a stray American trying to appear very very zen.

I have a flea in this keyboard, it keeps popping up when i hit the W. Do you think this is serious?

Blame either Yoda or 2legs.Looks like i have sent NBY back to USA with fleas; bubonic plague will surely follow. You heard it here first folks!

zdt*will it, won't it, will it, won't it, will it, won't it get to post?*

I just spilled coffee allova mine...keyboard that is...

H2 has been a bit of pain lately, I haven't been on much...and when I do I can't post or the servers busy...ah well....

Joins in the "will it, won't it" chant..

I'm BAAAACCKKKK.

No,really. I got home safely at about midnight, Denver time.

All misadventures on the return trip were minor, in spite of my efforts to perform Stupid American tricks en route.

So, when I first arrived in France, I got on the train in Bordeaux and got off again at the first stop, which was Angouleme.

Upon departure, I got on the last train out of Angouleme, which would get be to Bordeaux a full 7 hours before my flight out. the next one would have gotten me there about 10 minutes after my flight out.

Cab to Angouleme train station... try to find someone to sell me a ticket... Ticket counter and shops in the station are closed... Finally lpcate someone who informs me that I will need to purchasse the ticet from the Controller, aboard the train.

Okay, fine. Board the train and await the Controller, who never materializes. Get off at the first stop and make my way out of the station, which does not look quite like I remember... Walk out of station and look around... This is NOT Bordeaux.

Back to train and reboard not quite a minute before it departs again. The NEXT stop is Bordeaux.

Leave the train station at Bordeaux and attempt to locate the bus stop for the shuttle that runs between the train station and the airport... It is now about 1:15 am. The bus does not materialize.

Catch a taxi to the airport... no problem. Taxi delivers me to airport, driver wishes me bon voyage and takes off... It is now about 2:30 am.

All of the doors to the airport terminal are locked!?! This may explain why the shuttle bus was not running. Empoyees are visible within the terminal, cleaning. Park myself in front of one of the doors and wait, occasionally chatting a bit with the few other people who were also not expecting the airport to be closed, and wonder when doors will open.

Doors open at exactly 3:45. Enter airport and sit, waiting for someplace that serves coffee to open for business. This happens at about 6:00. From that point on, my return journey was uneventful, except for the couple with three children under the age of five, two of whom were NOT HAPPY to be aboard an airplane for the ten hour flight accross the Atlantic. The eldest was very happy, in a loud kind of way.

The two weeks with Terri, Yoda and viking were worth every bit of the expense and stress involved in the actual "travel" parts.

Yes, I included viking in that. He actually is a decent person, even if he does have some "issues." In spite of all the arguing and shouting, it's clear that Terri and viking do care deeply about each other. They drive each other up every wall in France and push each other past all limits of emotional endurance, but keep on getting back together. A person you don't care about can't get to you in the same ways as one you do - the two of them get to each other in all of those ways.

NBY

Oh, Oh, Oh......

You understand, and....just...oh, oh, oh.

Yoda sends multi-orgasmic purring stuff. Viking variously declares you are incredibly zen or "my puppet".

Very relieved you got back OK; it was all a bit "m*rde;p*tain; s*it; bo**ocks"
wasn't it?

Hi Terri,

I've been fretting about Micio this week. She has some inflammation, possibly from a bite or scratch we can't see. She is on anti-inflamation meds, and antibiotics. She goes back to the vet Monday for another checkup.

That's such a lovely thing to say NBY

*chuckles* at "all the walls in France"