Posted Dec 6, 2005
One of my oldest friends, the one who first started calling me Rains all those years ago, has declared he doesn't want us to be friends any more . I'm more or less OK with this, which surprises me - I don't normally let friends go easily.
It's a long story. I think part of it is because since the wedding, I haven't been able to instantly drop everything I'm doing to spend hours on the phone talking him through things. He got miffed if I couldn't instantly give him my full attention; even if I was in the car on the way somewhere, already visiting another friend, cooking dinner, running a bath... if I couldn't give him my instant undivided attention, he interpreted it as an instant rejection and got hurt .
He's drifted into several jobs; each time it was going to be long term so he could pay off his debts, but after 3 months he'd get bored and demoralised and quit to go back on the dole . He'd complain about having no money, and wonder why I told him to either a) see a doctor as he might be depressed or b) get another job. He decided to trade in his admittedly dull but economical and reliable car for a faster, flasher one. He asked me if he should buy it, describing the car and the few issues it had *when he bought it*, and I advised him not to buy it. Of course, he bought it and it cost him no end of money to repair, and eventually he sold it at a loss barely 3 months later.
He also started chatting to lots of girls on the internet, moving on to ringing them and texting them, and he seems to be having phone-sex relationships with *all* of them. And then he would send me texts detailing quite intimately and physically what he'd got up to .
So, I told him I didn't agree with having all these girls on the go at once, especially as he told me none of them know about the others - and I asked him to tone the detail down. I mean, if Dave had got texts like that off another woman, it would have annoyed me!
And then he came back with the "I think we should stop being friends" thing.
I think that's OK. I can't remember ever having sensible advice off him; I rang him, talking about some trouble I was having at work, and he ignored it and made fart jokes (which are funny in their place, but not then). He was rarely there when I needed him, and if he was there he rarely listened to me for long. We had some good laughs, and some good times, but they date back to when we were younger and we could spend hours playing computer games, and we didn't have responsibilities and life getting in the way.
I wish him well; I hope he sorts his head out. I hope he gets back in touch some day. But it feels odd calling myself by the nickname he gave me, when he's no longer a friend.
I just don't know what to call myself instead!
Posted Nov 28, 2005
It's such a shame that someone so young has succumbed to such a horrible illness. I remember meeting Richard Burns at the 1995 RAC Rally, and he was such a nice and talented bloke. Even though he defected to Peugeot, I still cheered him on and I was looking forward to when he next got back in the driving seat... which was never to be .
Rallying is a richer sport for having known him, but poorer for losing him so young.
Rest in peace, Richard .
One Small Step...
Posted Nov 3, 2005
... can work out to a giant leap!
I've submitted a very personal entry to the Alternative Writing Workshop (gah, can't remember the number . It's over there, anyway).
I hoped it would be cathartic, and to an extent it was. I feel a lot clearer about where I am, where I've been, and more importantly where I aim to be . I almost feel like I've dumped a tonne off my shoulders.
I'm also a sight more grateful to have the life I have, with the people around me that I have, both IRL and on hootoo (OK, maybe not so many on hootoo , but anyway..).
Finally, there's a light at the end of the tunnel.... and it isn't someone with a flamethrower!
The Joys of IKEA
Posted Oct 25, 2005
It's nice to be able to write a journal entry and not be whinging about work .
Last week me and Dave had a week off, so we cracked on and got 99% of the living room finished, thanks to a hired Transit van and a trip to Ikea to get our new sofas, as well as a few nights fitting laminate flooring to replace the old carpet. Now our living room looks like a grown up, coordinating room, rather than a student's . Once this is done we can then move on to waterproofing and painting the inside of the conservatory so we can use it as a dining room; then it's painting the kitchen and refurbishing the units; then it's just painting and recarpeting the hallway, and then the house is done.
It feels nice to have a house approaching how I want it; but somehow I just know that by the time we finish it, it'll be time to move elsewhere and start the whole process again - though hopefully without having to buy the furniture this time!
This makes it sound like last week was a frenzy of activity, but it wasn't, really - we had a long weekend at Dave's parents to relax, with time to have a nice afternoon walk in the countryside, and we found time to see a friend who was starring in Guys & Dolls at the Spa Centre (which was a fantastic show - we all had a great evening ). We also got a chance to catch up with Silvia (one of my bridesmaids) and her husband, and enjoyed a lovely meal which included roast venison and .
And Dave has worked out that we have less than 7 working weeks until Christmas - haven't yet decided if this means or . This year really feels like it's flown by, and I don't feel ready to admit we're nearing 2006 yet...
Posted Oct 6, 2005
Me and Dave are still hunting for new jobs, but there's so little out there that we can actually do; it's almost like our current employer has focussed on de-skilling us so we can't actually go anywhere else . But the happy news is, we've now been married for 4 months and we're still all slushy and newlywed.
But anyway.... last week we had a big meeting where all the senior managers basically talked about the company's situation (basically, not that great). Beforehand, they had asked for us minions to submit questions for them to answer and potential cost-savings if appropriate.
This week, the office has been very cold, to the extent where people have been complaining about it and ringing facilities about it. It appears some has suggested that the company turn down the heating to save money... and the gits have done! Alright, it isn't Arctic in here, but it's practically warmer outside than in here! My hands and nose are actually cold and I'd be more comfortable in here if I were wearing my coat and gloves .
Tight-a*ses. I wonder if they thought to offset the losses in productivity caused by a cold workforce .
The *really* aggravating thing is that they're currently painting the place... exactly the same colour as it was before, so you're hard pressed to tell where's been painted and where hasn't!!!
On the upside, the gastritis I had (which caused me to lose half a stone) has pretty much gone, so I can now eat everything apart from really spicy things . Eating very little of bland foods for 2 weeks, and having to be careful for a further 2 weeks, has been much more of an ordeal than I thought - it's amazing how much I took variety and taste of various foods for granted.
We went out for two meals last weekend (Saturday dinner and Sunday lunch), and both times I managed a pudding as well . I'll have to be careful or I'll end up putting more weight back on than I lost .
Rains - Wondering where time's going and why it's in so much of a hurry!