Journal Entries
Results just in...
Posted May 2, 2003
30th June 2003
Results are just in from the Tory Leadership contenst.
5. Micheal Howard, running on his infamous, "vote for me, I'm running out of time" manifesto.
4. Ann Widecomber, who you will all remember shed 500 pounds so she could prove that the dispatch box could handle her weight.
3. Micheal Portillo, the owner, you will no doubt recall, of Pig Airways.
2. David Davis, who seems to be carving something into the winner's back.
1. Tony Blair, who decided that his policies would best suit a Tory Party anyway.
but it had to be done.
Well done to the LibDems, who achieved 30% of the vote and are now resembling a credible opposition in the public eye and of course to the Tory Party, who got through on their "A vote for us isn't a vote for Labour" manifesto... and one very annoying advert that was seemingly always on the BBC.
A special mention must go to the town on Burnley, for giving BNP a chance. I look forward to you implosion in this seasons race riots.
Oberon2001
PS. A special prize to whoever can name all the members of the British Cabinet (titles only needed)
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Latest reply: May 2, 2003
Richard and Judy
Posted Apr 1, 2003
Now then, whilst I have the utmost respect for these two journalists (read into that sentence what you will), I have to give them kudos for todays programme, and wish to share it with a wider audience (once again, read into that what you will, audience share, *cough*, audience share! 
).
R&J introduced to the two viewers a device that could translate any sentence into another language called Babylon (ah! similiar name to Babel Fish, but anyway). The person who designed it came on air, discussed the 10 or so years he had put into to it, starting off with a uni thesis. They demonstrated said machine extensively, it was even able to translate the sentence in your own voice, very impressive. They even discussed how Sony and Panasonic were trying to nick the idea before he patented it.
Finally, they translated one last sentence...
It was an April Fools!
Like I said, Kudos, Kudos...
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Latest reply: Apr 1, 2003
Blair "Surprised"
Posted Mar 16, 2003
Monday 17th March 2003 (Reuters)
The Right Honourable Tony Blair, Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, expressed "surprise" today after reports suggested that the United Nations does exist.
It is understood that a "conscience" managed to find it's way into 10 Downing Street, setting off alarms throughout Westminister. After being apprehended by the police, it was revealed that the conscience and Mr Blair were involved in a 41-year relationship, which only ended when Mr Blair became leader of the Labour Party. The conscience is believed to have told Mr Blair about the UN just before being captured. The Prime Minister was rushed to hospital with shock, but later made a statement in which he told of his surprise that such an entity could exist.
Alistar Campbell, the PM's official spokesman, had this to say, "Thankfully it was just a false alarm and calls to Mr Bush and Mr Anzar have confirmed that the UN doesn't exist. Just like a politician's integrity, it's all a hoax."
The bombing starts in 24 hours and the legal proceedings against the Government in 25.
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Latest reply: Mar 16, 2003
Newsflash
Posted Mar 2, 2003
Monday 31st March 2003
In response to Hans Blix's devasting report to the UN, which concluded that Iraq has no Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD), but the US and UK almost certainly sold them to Iraq, so where have they gone?, a joint US and UK task force has been sent to Iraq, resulting in heavy civilain and military casualties.
50% of the US public, outraged at the huge loss of human life, marches on Washington. President Bush, seeing the amount of people that oppose him, decides to take the only course of action he can against people that oppose US policy.
He bombs them... To f
k.
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Latest reply: Mar 2, 2003
The Hypocrite Awards
Posted Feb 12, 2003
Full marks to The Sun, who this week printed an expose on the evil, dirty and frankly perverted mind behind Tatu. The interview with the man credited with Tatu video was secretly fixated with Julie, one half of the pop duo, and wanted her to fulfil his "twisted" lesbian fantasies.
Naturally, the article had plenty of pictures of the girls in states of undress and stills from their video, but that was all in the name of good journalism. So was the series of pictures printed only the week before in The Sun's Bizarre Column which also featured the girls in various homo-erotic poses.
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Latest reply: Feb 12, 2003
Oberon2001 (Scout)
Researcher U204088
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