h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A plague! A plague!

Bubonic, Sceptic or Pneumonic?

Biblical.

With locusts.

Could you be more specific in relation to the locusts?

No.

It was worth a shot. But although dealing with nonspecific locusts is trickier than dealing with an identified variety, I assure you that it can be done. Nasty business, though. I'll have to use a stronger insecticide n them to make sure I get them all.

*dons gasmask and prepares to fog*

I may have to use a stronger insecticide in this thread...

We wouldn't need an insecticide if you hadn't brought in the locusts. It's your own fault - as usual.

now look, I'd prefer if the plague was o'er someone else's house. preferably next door's, their dog has been keeping me awake.

*hands Frood a gas mask and protective suit* You'll need these.

I already have a pair, never can be too careful around flatulent sheep full of hot air

Good man. I knew I could count on you to understand the situation correctly.

Now, seriously, how are you feeling?

Much better. Still have a great barking cough, but the Penicillin is kickin' in.

First it was a dental abcess, then this, I'm sure there's somethingmore looming around the corner.

Just hope it's not anthrax.

*eyes the ovine*

The dental abcess must have compromised your immune system. My hygenist was telling me that the health of our gums affects our entire bodies. She said that people with gingivitis have more heart disease, for example. Keeps me brushing and flossing.

I'm glad you're on the mend. But to properly recover you must ignore everything Jodan says.

I ignore the belating on the most part. unless of course he's got something interesting to say. but you know how often that is

oh, that was meant to be bleating. and harumphing. and dribbling.

Friends, Romans, Even Missourians... Allies of the UnderGuide...
Let us not distract ourselves from the issue from whence this journal was raised. Furthermore, let us not divide ourselves with talk of sucky Truman and the glorious ovine. Let us unite in a common interest to see the UnderGuide at its healthiest.

"Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep."

And with that, I leave you so that I might grab a nap. I expect that our problems will be solved by the time I wake up? Or at least I'll see a certain email I've been waiting and hoping for, hobbit.

I like to get things done. On my h2g2 epitaph, right below 'Truman Sucks', I hope to have written 'Though often a pain in the ass, he got things done', and by god I'm not going to let the UG drift down the page.

You know why? Because we are such stuff as dreams are made on. And I'm off to sleep.

I'm just waiting for all the votes on UG entries to start rolling in, the suspense is killing me

*massages Spynxxx's neck and shoulders to relax him*

Ahhh, that feels sooooooooo good

Um, there aren't any hidden fees involved I hope