h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Woohoo! I'm Poo-bah!

Have fun, and have a safe trip, Jodan! I promise you I won't do anything to Dayton- except mayberestoretheGreatBlackSwamp, but don't worry!

Oh










a geological preserve sounded good to me.

Joe dan,

You sound so nice!

I think you might have frightened Dennis off!

Have a great time with the family and the poor palm trees which are aparently bent double.


Also Ran1

Welcome to Flor-i-Duh! Inspiration of brilliant comedic authors Tim Dorsey and Carl Haissen. Home of Secretary of state (too-much-makeup) Catherine Harris. Temporary hangout of Governor Bush. Target for hurricanes. Habitat for manatees, water mocassins, four species of rattlers, alligators, armadillos, scorpions, grouper, tarpon, world record large mouth bass, stone crabs, spiny lobsters, endangered panthers, flamingos, salt water crocodiles and fiesty bull sharks. Inspiration for the band "dead german tourists". Place where largest city, Miami, is now 60% Hispanic. Accidental maker of presidents. Place where the strange and footloose come to rest. Owner some of the best SCUBA diving destinations spots on earth (or at least in the USA.). Lightning strike capital of the known world. Home of the undefeated Seminole tribe. .... And then there is FSU...birthplace of western civilization .

I forgot..Jimmy Buffet, Key West and the best weather this side of Oahu. Are you going back home or staying like everyone else does?

I should hope not!

Gee Phred, you're forgetting the really exciting bits, though the unbearable humidity can do that sometimes.

You've failed to mention the hours of entertainment to be had in following twentyfive year old Cadillacs driven by 90 year old retirees, or at least their hands as that's usually all that's visable from behind.

Failure to mention the insectoid denizens is a grevious error as well. Some folks might like cockroachs the size of bananas, and the centipedes are to die for. Not me of course, but somebody might I'm sure.

And did anyone remember to tell our revered leader to take a map? Oh well, I'm sure his Spanish is top notch so directions shouldn't be an issue, though that Cuban dialect can give a body fits.

I'd better quit while I'm ahead, someone may recognize the tone and sick a croc on me

Re: humidity: It's really not the heat that gets to you, It's the stupidity.

Re: Insects: We have some of the finest three-inch roaches in the known world. Let's hope Jodan checks his panties if they are dropped to the floor at night before re-donning them.

Re: Blue haired denizens. Last week, one in Clearwater wiped out a pack of 35 cyclists and kept on going, apparently failing to notice the cyclists flying overhead.

Thanks all.

I'm in a Georgia hotel room right now (with free wireless internet!), actually. But the humidity is unbearable.

I think I'll sic a Hobbit on you.
Where is my assistant Ed?

The humidity is getting to me. Some of the folk's stupidity, but no more than in Ohio.

Palmetto Bugs, right?

35? I guess they could do that in those clunky diesel powers old cars. Still pretty impressive...

We call our champion-sized roaches "palmetto bugs" for the benefit of the tourists. We also have taken to calling our dolphin fish by the new name of mahi-mahi so the tourists won't think they're eating fried "flipper". I personally prefer the Cuban name, "dorado". .

I remember roaches and mahi-mahi last time I was in Florida, actually. I wish they would call it Dolphin, because I almost got tricked into eating a Flipper Sandwich (I believe that's what they called it, actually.)

Ft. Lauderdale. Right?

Yeah. How'd you know?

Hey, Ohio has eyeballs!

In Georgia, huh? Sorry.

The old lounge singer joke, eh?

Where's you from?
Georgia.
I'm sorry?
I said Georgia!
No, I mean I'm sorry.



I got eyeballs alright. So do you. And it's awfully late for you, isn't it?

This hobbit is sick anyways, so you needn't worry yourselves about being intimidated by a short hairy person with big feet.

Hope you're better soon Frood.

I was up late for me. Grandma here normally turns into a pumpkin at that hour. I had friends here late and needed to unwind a bit.

Have to keep this short because the hotel front desk guy keeps glaring at me (I can only get access in the lobby ) but I may get to see the Space Shuttle Launch tomorrow.

You'd better go see the elves, Frodo.

Mahi-Mahi is Dolphin? Is that a universal truth or just a Floor-Duh trooth?

The only time I was ever in Florida I tried aligator. They called it aligator on the menu, too.