h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Kidding? Moi?

(psst...what's this Dayton, someone?)

Angus, isn't it?

One of you must be counting in metric.

It's the city they built around me. I'm thinking of invoking the Ego-Clause of my Pooh-Bah contract and having it renamed Jodanopia

A445277

, well I suppose there had to be one.

That'll confuse him nearly as much as the Archers.

Anyway, if you put [sheep "douglas adams"] into Google, you get neat stuff about Australia. Apparently DNA wrote :

'The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep'

I think Jodan ought to add that last bit to his nickname.

Which further reminds me - did any of you guys see the Beeb website thing about schoolkids' names?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4274318.stm

Nope.

The Guide explains all: The Archers -> A583346 (My grandmother was a big fan, by the way).

And Angus A871166.

And the first few sentences of each of those entries are plenty to read...

I think George Carlin did a routine about how names like Jordan and Tucker are stupid names

Which reminds me, take a look at this - http://public.fotki.com/azahar/h2g2_friends/jordan.html The comment at the bottom. Ben'll have to do better than that! (not that I mind her thinking I look like that... we Jordans aren't bad looking.)

What a very perceptive bunch of teachers. Some of it's true anyway .


Poor Jordan, that would have thrown him.

Great article! Though I was disappointed to see that my name wasn't on the 'good' list. I thought 'Emily' was one of those nice, old-fashioned names that conjured up images of little girls with posh accents in pigtails.

I meant, of course, that the girls were wearing pigtails, not the accents.

I was disappointed too. Jordan is a perfectly acceptable name for quite a many nice people. Emily too.

I took a look at one of those websites that that BBC article linked to, and I found this -http://www.tes.co.uk/section/staffroom/thread.aspx?story_id=2135427&path=/Opinion/ Post 6.

"It appears that it's fine to discuss anal sex in all its glories, alongside clitoral stimulation using 'butterflies' on bounty.com, yet to call Jordan a spawn of Satan is somehow offensive.

B*ll*cks!" [I starred that out, because I think it's one of your offensive words]


*rubs eyes*


I'm thinking of leaving h2g2 and becoming a spunky teacher...

- off to look for more of that...

I'll ignore the last posts and answer a question from the first page in this thread.

"Did you find that the 'Making of' documentary was cut short somehow? When I watched it it was about 10 minutes (okay, maybe 15) long and I didn't see any of the clips that were advertised on the Front Page a little while ago, or any of the clips the producer and director referred to in the commentary. Is it possible that this is because it's the American release and it's different? Or did I just get a faulty DVD?"

The UK edition includes a second disk with 'Don't Crash: The Making of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'. That's the version I'm waiting to get from Amazon.
(Saw the movie in the cinema twice already - first day it was shown in Switzerland and first day it was shown in Denmark! )

Jackpot.
http://www.tes.co.uk/section/staffroom/thread.aspx?story_id=2129333&path=/Opinion/

"Does anyone else have a huge number of "Jordan"s? We have LOADS at our school, both male and female. Some are lovely. Others are horrid. Can't really generalise on that one "

"Jordan is usually pretty bad for a girl and Kyle always spells trouble!"

"boys = KYLE, LIAM, LEAM, CONNOR, GRANT, AUSTIN, KANE, CAIN, KADE, MITCHELL, CALLUM, JORDAN, WAYNE, SHANE, DUANE, KIERON, KIA, DECLAN, DANNY, SHANNON (to name just a few.)"

"Also a Jorden (girl) Tanisha, and Ashleigh. All lovely children."

"Still Jordan for me - boys that is. I think we've got fewer of them this year though so will be on the look out for a new name. Also, Ryan"

"Boys: Jordan, Chris, Jimmy, Connor, Jake, Kieran, Liam, Chayse, Shane, Kyle."

"Generally I find Con(n)or, Liam, Jordan, Dwayne and Richie to be pains for boys"

"Jordan!!" (that was the whole post)

"Matbe the Jordans of this world should be home educated to make life better for all involved."

"All kids called James are little b@stards

Ditto Jordan and Luke, and I'm not very fond of Jack either."

"Jordans (male) -bad news!"

"Tell you what, next time Peter and Susan chuck a chair at someone or we catch Rosemary smoking dope in the loos, I'll eat my words, but until then I remain very wary of Jordan, Bethany, Brandon, Latisha and co. "

"in a few years time, will there be any headmistresses/masters called "Jordan"?"

"I observed a class of year 7's being taught by an excellent teacher yesterday. The child who the most problematic eas called Jordan. The rest were very well behaved."

"I agree with you teachers completely. My son attends an over subscibed and selective catholic primary school (best state primary in the area) and all his class mates have traditional, mainly biblical names e.g Thomas, Matthew, Christopher etc and these are never shortened, however my sister sends her children to a primary school in a less affluent area and her children's class mates names include a Jordan, a Sherry, a Charlene, and a Tyler. can you guess which school did better in the Ofsted reports? Coincidence?"

"There are certain names (first and last names) that strike fear in our hearts, and there are some names that we know almost guarantee a referral for special education services! Those names include: Joshua, Justin, Tyler, Jessica, Alyssa, Jordan, Dakota, Kayla, Hunter, Debbie, Shawn/Sean/Shaun, and Dillon/Dylon/Dylan."

"Limited and socially unaware parents tend to give their kids 'thick' names, like the ones above. Again, if I had taught super bright Keanus, Tylers, Kyles, Courtneys, Jordans, Regans, Chantelles, Kelly-Maries or Paiges, I'd change my mind."

"I bet most of the people who call their kids Shardonay/Tyler/Kelly-Marie/Jordan lounge about all day on benefits, watching day time TV and the likes of Jerry Springer/Trisha."

They really hate my name I could not for the life of me find Pin's RL name in those forums, though.

Okay, I spent a half hour doing that, so I need to post that...
Ottox- I'd like to see if I can get that too. I enjoyed the special features.

Sorry about that little distraction, Jodan. Still, once you're off-topic, you might as well keep going back there for your holidays, yeah?

I'm a bit disappointed myself that my RL-name's not on the list. 'Mick' has proud and historic trouble-making connotations. A few years ago, everyone assumed that Micks were all members of the IRA, or at the very least Trade Union militants hell-bent on undermining democracy and destroying the economy.

I guess the difference is that your name has acquired a permanent association with contemporary degeneracy, whereas mine belongs to a much nobler and more purposeful tradition of antisocial behaviour.
Teachers, of course, will always side with the Micks, Pats, Jimmys, Arthurs, Yassers and similar belligerent reactionaries. They're examples of the type themselves, after all.

Has your diligent research uncovered the most famous British bearer (barer?) of the name Jordan?

Yes, it has Pin And I think it's unfair that we male Jordans should be discriminated against. Everyone knows where the female Jordans will end up, but we male Jordans have a real shot.

The Yassers?

Fine. Well, I don't think we'd better ask what it is you're shooting.

There are a few Yassers here and there. A workmate's kid has a Yasser *and* an Osama in her class. I haven't heard of any Saddams or Adolfs or Attilas or Genghises (the last two a particular shame), except as names for dogs.

The Sudanese People's Liberation Army used to field a spokesman called Yasser Osama. Presumably he was quite effective in grabbing Uncle Sam's attention.

Jeez. You wouldn't be able to get away with that in the US. Maybe Yasser. Not Osama. I think I'd have to get my name changed if it were Saddam. I don't know about Genghis I might like that name...

All those Jodans !

I was thinking it might be a UK thing, but one of those is a USAian.

Anyone for the theory that Micks just get on with everything so quietly and inconspicuously that they don't register on the teachers' radar?