h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can't tell you. If I couldn't tell my other UG eds about the UG badge for two months, what chance is there I can tell you about anything new now?

Top secret, I'm afraid. But Jims mentioned it to me in passing. I won't be doing it. But it's a neat idea.

Nervous? Are you the sort of person afraid of public speaking? I never understood that phobia

No. Not nervous. I know my subject. The only time I get nervous is when I'm not sure what to say. I'm just dreading the drive up there and back in one day. But I used to live in Jefferson City, so I've made the drive dozens of times. Just not lately.

Good

Afraid to improvise?
Look at Beethoven. He did some of his best work improvising. Which works temporarily escape me, though.

The Apprentice just began again. It's still the only reality show I watch. I love Donald Trump's life story... he went from huge debt to the paradigm of success on TV.

I've never watched it. I can't get past the way Trump purses his lips. It makes his mouth look like a monkey's butt. And that hair!

I was brilliant, by the way.

Of course you were.

I'm here! I'm here. No need to bring in the sidekicks. Just was distracted by an entry on Cincinnati in PR.

Trump made a joke about his bad hair in the show. I was sure he didn't know how bad it was...

Brilliant, eh? Good work.

Are you saying you don't like Lola? I need to trot her out occassionally so I don't forget the logon and password.

There are so many citizens of the UK and other countries who loathe and dispise the US and who are constantly making nasty remarks that I'm tempted to invent a 'nasty as they are cowboy' to flame them. I'm really getting sick of it. And being the sweet, thoughtful person that I am, I obviously can't engage in a flame war.

It makes me depressed when I read that Americans are ignorant of this that I could explain to anyone... and don't understand that which I read about a year ago... so I just don't bother with it.

Lola's fine. Wolfgang is occasionally a bit rough around the edges.

I try not to make Wolfgang sound like me. What would be the point of having him then? Originally he was a villian in one of Lil's pantomimes. Then I decided to keep him around at the Diner. I'm trying to give hm the personality of a short order cook. And of course he spars with Hyp. That way folks won't suspect that he is Hyp. At least that's the way it's supposed to work.

People aren't supposed to suspect that the sheep is me, but I'm sometimes referred to as

I don't like that.
But I guess this is different, eh?

I'm glad to have sidekicks. There are a few researchers that I refuse to be in a conversation with. So, if I'd really like to say something in one of those occassions, I can use or .

Of course you're not . Pah! You're much taller than .

Well, when gets on his hind legs, he can be a presence.

That can't be fun. Lucky for me, I'm universally loved on h2g2

Unfortunately, I have managed to make a couple of enemies. And there are a few who aren't enemies.....I just don't want to have anything to do with them because when I do I wind up with indigestion.

Good ol' kind, lovable Hyp has enemies.

That's unfortunate.

Maybe 'enemy' is too dramatic a way of putting it. Let's just say that not everyone is impressed with my logic. Go figure.

And some people have absolutely no sense of humor at all. Plus they take everything literally. It's impossible to discuss things in generalities because they're too stupid to understand that not every comment you make isn't about them.

I fell this afternoon and hurt my back again. I was trying to keep my mother from falling and she wound up landing on top of me and ...stop laughing...she hit me in the head with her cane. Anyway, I've taken some codeine and muscle relaxants that I had left over from last time. But I have a really nasty bruise on my hip and I can't stand up straight and I have a big bump on my head. Mom's just fine.....I broke her fall.

I still haven't done the CG for shazz. It may have to wait until morning. It's really painful to sit still. I have to get up and hobble around about every 5 minutes.

I'd think the cane to the head would hurt most of all But feel better soon, anyways.

I've decided that if I'm to keep Ohio in a strong position in the guide, I'm going to need to write 3 Ohio entries. What aspect of Ohio do you find most interesting?

How about an article on Ohio's geographical location and how that has influenced it's growth and industrial development. Sort of a take on the 'England is an Island' theme.

Is there a sociological peculiarity that would make a good article? Like the Pennsylvania Dutch only the Ohio whatever?

An article on why modesty is not an Ohio characteristic.

The lump on my head is over an inch high. I have an ice bag on it. I'm typing with one hand.

Most Ohioans are less arrogant than me. Really.

I wish there were Ohio Dutch. That would be convenient.
Let's see. The Baltimore and Ohio didn't actually go into Ohio. The Battle of Fallen Timbers was in Ohio, I think, but no one knows that. I have an article on some ghost stories in Ohio almost ready, but I denounced writing about ghosts in one of my PR threads (hypocrite warning) so I should probably wait on that. Rockefeller founded Standard Oil in Cleveland, but that's probably too obscure to bother with.

A history of Dayton? Maybe.

An inch high? That's huge.

It's not going down. I wonder if I should go to the emergency room? That would take all night. I'll see how it is in the morning.

Well, I've ignored this thread for a while, so is it any better now?

I have to proofread the Civil War entries... But it's better than PR doing it for me.