h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just a word of cautionary advice,please carry a shield to protect yourself from incomeing projectiles or failing a trusty shield duck!

Good luck

Good morning gentle Paladin.

Have you chosen your arms and armour for the upcoming Dungeons and Dragons bash yet?

I have replied to Kevo as a potential member but fear that he may have misinterpreted my meaning. That is, if a long parade of question marks is anything to go by.

In the absence of any further correspondance I am venturing the opinion that my services will be surplus to requirements.

Regarding the shield I am experimenting with steel plates cunningly woven into the framework of my umbrella. That and a suitable hiding place beyond the wit of any firebreathing monstrosity with a taste for poached fish.

your mad highness...

re: kevo and his club ... i think we might have to be a bit patient as he might be busy with this new venture...

plus from what i understand he is also a ACE which i think means "asking for punishment" in an alien language...

i managed to buy a sword... [can't remember the name of that mighty weapon... very technical it was... so i chose it with a good old proven method... i picked it at random... hehe]

re: dragons married to us... hehe... had to wait for the kids and their mum to leave the room for me to be able to LMHAOROTF... [oh yes,i CAN relate to what you said indeed...]

talk later...

loup

Happily I don't have that problem lol

I got rid of The temporary attachment ages ago

As for your sword I would have thought a Toledo Salamanka Ideal for the purpose at hand.

Have fun

My dear Paladin and Loup,

Unable to locate a Spanish Toledo on the weapons list I have made an appeal to go forth and conquer wielding a simple light waterproof canopy with collapsible metal framework affixed to a central rod.

I would like to see the dragon capable of surviving a Doomsday Device of this nature.

Commiserations go out to Loup on his unfortunate domestication and to Paladin all I can say is that you have been damned lucky.

And so, once more unto the breach dear friends!

May the force be with you.

Veni, Vidi, Visi.

Er.... can anyone help me with the childproof lid on my medication bottle?

Hang on a mo,I'll ask my 5yr old shes good at getting those lids off

So they are adultproof bottles lol

I too am blessed with a daughter who would make Houdini look like an amateur.

This ferocious four year old amalgumation of grime, bruises, nasal secretions and high pitched sonic warfare is the Artful Dodger of petty thievery and escapology and is an invaluable asset when opening medicine bottles, discovering life between sofa cushions and decyphering Enigma encoding machines before bed time.

I shall proceed with extreme caution along this line. In around forty years time she will be picking out my nursing home.

Suffice to say that the bottle is now open and my nervous system has returned to what passes for normality around here.

I have been performing a little research on the subject of clandestine weaponry and find that the 'sword-stick' came in many variants that were carried by gentlemen in emergencies.

Unfortunately, the nature of said emergencies was never fully explained but I am confident that 'finding oneself light in the wallet department' qualifies admirably.

The average sword-stick was either a cane or waling stick containing a thin foil or rapier.

So, if you are reading this Kevo, do I get my umbrella or what?

And when I discover what in the hells a 'waling stick' is I shall get back to you with haste.

hehe... all these technical terms... i think i will stick with a "whatsitsname" to describe my weapon... as long as it does the job... now how about a kowslayerthingy?!... lmho...
[only joking... i will wait UNTIL after we got the digibox-friendly external links]

loup

The only cow slaying weapon that I am aware of is an abbatoir. Unfortunately the designers have yet to produce a pocket version that fits snugly into a scabbard.

I think I ought to stop there before I get you started on cattle mutilation patterns across the American mid-west.

With gun and umbrella,

mmmmmmmm..... NOW that's an interesting idea for a guide entry... hehe...

loup

I probably ought not mention my severe left sided headaches, unexplained nosebleeds or the circular 'scoop' shaped scar on my upper right arm that, for the life of me, I cannot attribute to any known incident.

Nor should I recount an early childhood memory from the age of four or five where I was descended upon from the clouds by tall, spindly pink birds with an uncanny penetrating glare.

At the time and ever since I took them to be flamingos with a badly drawn migration plan. Reading Loup d'argents paranormal zone has given me pause for some fairly bowel trembling introspections.

Yours with a watchful eye on the skies with anti-aircraft gun and umbrella,

.... and it's not finished yet, there is more to come...

but the message about the MIB is more or less [or will be once the project is finished] that their threats are of the empty ones kind...

so it's not as bad as it looks really... far from me of wanting to give nightmares to the h2g2 researchers...

there will be a kind of strategy to adopt for people who might have an encounter with them as obviously we never can be too careful... and [without wanting to quote them] i will add that "everything will be revealed soon"...

talk later...

loup

ps: you can email me if you want...

an a lighter note...

i was talking about kowslayingthingy earlier NOT cowslayingthingy... the one i was thinking of is more fun... hehe...

loup

Speaking of whom, where on Earth is the great bovine one today?

He never writes, he never phones. I may just as well be married to him.

you see, there is at least ONE good thing: you're not... lmho..

loup

Good point well made Loup.

So how near to completion is your concise guide to the 'you know who?'

I have read with some alarm that the alternative galactic guide may close down after issue forty two, so for my part am purveying as much as possible before it is too late.

The alternate guide to the battle of Agincourt was the topic for today. You will be glad to know that the French do rather well out of it all.

hehe... i had a peep already...
[me being as nosy as usual]

well if the alternative guide closes down... which would be a shame really... entries written by fellow LDers will be definitely supported by the "friends of LD" [i wrote something about that in the LDers journal yesterday...] so there will still be ways of encouraging people to read texts from those who are not keen on getting their work "edited"...

the MIB project will ALSO be an unedited work... i can't let anyone take any information out just because it might not fit in the official guide...

it is going to take some time tho' before i manage to put everything together... which is not a bad thing in a way as it gives me a chance to look at the best ways possible to present it...

anyway talk later...

let us know if there are any more news about the alternative guide...

loup

Sorry, I haven't checked in girls, being playing with my new joystick