h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.

LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

SIMPLE SIMON
Met a Pieman going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dumba**!"

HUMPTY DUMPTY
Sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
The cat did a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
When it died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY
Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too, 'cause he was gay.


This is my fav
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
who had a little curl!
Right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good,
She was very, very good
But when she was bad
she got a Fur coat, jewels, and a sports car.

Thx L



pedboy

But I always knew:

Georgy Porgy
Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too
He was funny that way

Cute.
The only one I had heard before is the scrambled eggs version of Humpty Dumpty.

Another version.
Simple Simon
Wore a walkman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon
To the Pieman
"WHAT?!"

Mary had a little Lamb
she thought it was so silly
she threw it up into the air
and caught it by its....


.....Willy is a watch dog
standing in the grass
along came a bumble bee
and stung it up the......


.....asssk no question
say no lies
if you see a postman
pulling up his.....


.....fly's are nothing
bees are worse
this is the end
of my silly little verse....


That one gets me every time!

Hey Diddle Diddle
The cat did a widdle
All over the kitchen mat.
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And widdled all over the cat.