h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>>It was such a relief that I could be pathetic and weak and exhausted.<<

Frenchbean, I found that out as well a couple of years ago.

It is the curse of coping women that we want to be both independant, reliable, a haven for others (kids, husband, other family, friends, collegues and perfect strangers) and weakness and 'help' are not in our vocabulary .

But I try to turn it around: If I am proud, satified and find it a privilege when I can help others and don't think lesser of them, wouldn't they be the same if I ask them for help?

Okay, okay it is still mostly theoretical but it is a beginning, not?

You're right tartaronne. It's easy to theorise, but very hard to put it into practice.

I try to put myself in other people's shoes and then see how proud I am So many people are the same, but I do think it's a curse at times.

It takes people a long time to be allowed behind my pride, to see the real Frenchbean and I think they get quite a shock

This sounds like the sort of thing I talk to my counsellor about each week. Gently, over many months, she has been edging me towards accepting the idea that I don't have to be perfect: that the will not end if I don't answer every request for help or succeed perfectly in every task, and that sometimes it's OK to admit to being tired and just relax. It's helping... a bit. When I get in from singing practice late tonight, I *may* just manage to watch a bit of TV instead of trying to write something. We'll see...

Ormondroy

*rushes in with a missing d*

I've been lurking in this thread since it's started and not had the tiem to compose a proper reply to you. My heart goes out to you, and I am thinking about you a lot. If I was a praying sort I would be praying about you as well.

I feel a bit lost that I can't offer you anyting apart from a small picture of a .

Here you are!

Hi Z. Thanks for the . *Hopes the hug is from Z and not Fluff*

Just knowing I have such good friends helps a lot. The anniversary of his death is sneaking up on me. It is on a Sunday, so I can stay home and brood and feel sorry for myself if I want to. I'm glad it doesn't fall on a work day.

Definately a from me and not Fluff (though Fluff, being captive breed hasn't really got the hang of squeezing food first)

I'm glad I can make a different albeit a small one. And you do have friends, deeply valued genuine friends.

I still giggle every time I think about a snake named Fluff.

I still have a quiet day on the anniversary of P's death. It's an opportunity to reflect and to be alone and to be joyful and sad all at once. I don't answer the phone that day

All of the 'firsts' are officially past now. the anniversary of his death was Sunday and his funeral was a year ago yesterday. So, we'll see if getting the firsts out of the way really does help.

I'm having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. I keep telling myself that next year will be better. I'm sure it will be.

Our thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Don't eat too much fudge. Hope the Christmas spirit does come to you

Nollick Ghennal

Pimms

Thanks everyone. I'm doing fine. I can't honestly say I'm jolly, but I'm not miserable either. I had a nice visit yesterday with my brother in spite of him being a horse's patoot. And have tomorrow and the great nephews to look forward to.

And the Father Fudge.

Who needs jolly? I'm never jolly at Christmas

Good for you Hyp