h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll second what Ag said.

You were obviously tired by the time you got to me, not surprising after your intensive sight-seeing trip! It was lovely having you, and if you come back to the UK (when you hit your target!) you will of course be welcome at chez kelli.

Been thinking a lot about you this week, Hyp. I was touched by what you, Frenchbean and Boots wrote.

We loved having you over here in May - though did all worry that we were 'killing' you with hyper-sightseeing and garden overload, not to mention the train-germs and long-distance trekking.

It _is_ a strange feeling - to be in the middle of something but feel you're not really experiencing it; almost like being in the eye of a storm with all the hooha going on around you. I've experienced it many times - including my own wedding day

Well, the next time I come I'll be much fitter and dazzle you all with my footwork.

I know you said that I should get in shape before I came, but I thought that with all the stair climbing I do here I could handle a wee bit of walking. Next time I will know that training for a marathon is required. And since I want to come in the fall, I can do a cathedral/historical buildings overload instead of a garden one.

Weren't the gardens glorious, though? It was definitely worth a little exhaustion to get to see them. And I am still very smug when I carry my Chelsea tote bag.

It's the strength of people that always amazes me. You're a marvel. Keep on sharing that strength eh?

Hyp: you know we're all here whenever you want to get rid of stuff in your head. And now you know that we all understand and guess what?.. we care as well

Whoever it was that said that the rules don't fit is spot on. And it is incredibly comforting to know that you're not alone.

You *will* feel more content. Don't push it. Keep the faith and be patient

Fb

I know Fb. I'm lucky to have such great friends. h2g2 can be an awesome suppport network.

How are you doing? You are doing amazingly, Hyp. You always manage to be kind and upbeat. At the risk of using yet another enthusiastic adjective, you're awesome.

EMR

We have talked a bit here and there
I consider the site lucky to have you.

I am sure many people are lucky to know you.
I have no doubt your hubby was a lucky man having you by his side.
From his side ( my side of a couple) I think he probably helped to lead you towards the moment he may need to leave.

You stayed and you cared for him and listened to him which is so much more than some may do. You talked some about thoughts , feelings, spirit when he was ill so it led me to believe this may be true. Nobody is perfect so I am sure you did the best you could and he was thankful. It is very hard to care for another while living a "normal working" life too. He would not want you wasting ANY time on what more you could have done

I have lost many people close to me, never a spouse
It has been near the one year mark before the true reality of experiencing living without them can set in. All of the feelings could not be totally brought up before, as you have never done this before!

It is much more real a year later, no immediate mourning cloud , things to arrange and people to greet in a fog.
The grieving and intense feelings can come in trickles or torrents, and often when you least expect it.

************************
If where I am emotionally (can include physically) is stressful and foriegn I often see the situation as an observer.
I have also experienced it when healing a struggle that has long bothered me. Like when I am actively changing what I do, choosing to ct instead of reacting changes perpectives same as having any new experience. All can be a bit unreal feeling.

I think it may be the true origin or meaning of being beside oneself. People are beside themselves with anger, grief , unfamiliarity,horror, shock and awe.


***********************
It is a wonderful trait to be able to take negative energy and turn it into positive by doing something useful, to keep functioning when all else is unreal. You have done both in the last year and it is one of several survivalists ways of moving towards thriving

Many people are OK talking or listening about death.
It is not something you normally take the lead on, people will generally wait to follow your lead.

I Hope the head tilted, higher voiced " how are you?" part is over for you. Sometimes it can make a person cringe and seal-up the hatch!

The people who want to love you or know you, will be able to hear it all, whenever and however it comes out.

Hey Hyp

Not only have you done all that stuff with the new building, handled all Frank's affairs since his death, figured out how to deal with the money stuff and eaten some first crops on your own, but you've become our President

Now doesn't that tell you how highly you are regarded in hootooland?


Fb

I haven't quite gotten used to being so exalted yet.

You are much too humble, oh great one. When we were growing up, I knew you were destined for stardom!

She is literally destined for dom, Lady C.

When she's lost 1 stone in weight by 14th Feb - along with me and several others - she will be awarded a by our Stargiver and chief cheerer, Recumbentman

frenchbean,
What is the pound equivalent of one stone, please.

In order to participate, do we have to tell anyone how much we weigh?

1 stone = 14lbs :-) No need to divulge any info you're not comfy with... Go here and join us if you would like great support and cheering-on http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/F133621?thread=1436874&show=20&skip=140#pi147

Hi Hypatia,

Frenchbean has said it all, you are loved and revered by all of those of us who know you.

You were very badly let down over the library contract and I would have loved to come over and sort out your architect and contractor for you. Your coming to terms with your loss has been remarkable.

Jazzme

You'll certainly never be alone here at hootoo, Madam President. There's not much I can add to all that's been written in this thread about how well you've handled your loss, but I would just like to say that it's great to hear that you're planning to visit us here in Britain again.

You know, I never realised on your last visit just how ill you were - i thought you were just a bit tired from travelling. I remember being really startled when you said you couldn't taste your curry; I thought that just for once my favourite restuarant had served a bad dish. Now I understand, and thank you for restoring my absolute faith in Omar's of Bradford!

She also presented a grand front in Lincoln, one week after surgery to her head, with a sore foot and an unexpected case of altitude sickness!

I expect that, on her next visit to Lincoln, she'll leave us all behind, and will order something more than soup at the Great Wall.

Jazz, I certainly could have used your help. I'm so glad that the project is finished. It was terribly frustrating.

Ormy, I will have to give Omar's another try. As well as the Great Wall.

Hey Hyp

One thing springs to mind when I've read through all these messages of support.

It *IS* okay to handle your loss badly too. It doesn't stop anybody from admiring and caring for you.

I really needed somebody to say that to me a few years ago, but nobody understood enough to tell me it was just fine to have those awful days when I couldn't cope and I couldn't face the next one and I was too damned tired of the effort of being cheerful and 'coping'.

Eventually a counsellor told me and I collapsed - literally - couldn't stop crying for about 12 hours. It was such a relief that I could be pathetic and weak and exhausted.


Fb

It was wonderful to be able to meet such a special person as you are, even if you were feeling a bit zonked. Frank sounds splendid.