h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

nah...it looks more like a big shoe with spots, with a frog sitting in it, surrounded by orange and blue swirls...

but this job is even lower than cleaning toilets... its like being a slave. sometimes almost literally, it hurts and the money is terrible
and the money all disappears so fast and its not my fault and i cant help it and i'm gonna shut up now...uh look, theres that bunny shaped cloud again...

your wonderful

the boss is big fat and mean

am i really your friend? really? theres a lump in my throat...sorry. uhrmm...just keep being your wonderful self. i'm all emotional now.

I see what you mean about the frog ... but I recon it's sitting on a cat, really..

Maybe you should go job-hunting pretty quickly, then. Summer's coming, so there'll be plenty of shop-type jobs about, I'm sure being a till-monkey is a bit better, huh.
...And about "other stuff"... You know I'm here if you want to talk off the record. And there's support groups online and stuff for, y'know, whatever. Helps to kick it if there's other people doing the same thing
Damn rabbits, eating our lettice! *gets out a shotgun*

Nah, not me...

*pokes boss with a stick* I bet he looks like an evil pig in a bad toupee..

Of course you are Anyone who can endure me for a year and then come back for more, is more than worthy of the title

oh yeah, theres the cat...i see it now...hang on...its melding into the bunny....aah

can't break my contract...i'm stuck...it can be fun sometimes...sometimes he comes in to see me.

he's my boyfriend
i got a boyfriend
BOOGIE WOOGIES!!!
i can't stop smiling. dont shoot the cutsy wutsy little bunnies cos theyre cute. *protects the bunnies*

thanks for your offer of help. much love and hugs and a lump in my throat because i'm a softie really despite having a disturbingly huge grin on my face 24/7 these days cos i have a boyfriend! not that its serious or anything yet cos its only been a few days...ok 3 in total but he's so cute and wonderful and he held my hand and i'm talking too much but i'm just so excited!

he does look like one! he has a really piggy obnoxious face but he's not that fat....

i love you i love you i love you for being my frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!
(sorry, overexcitement/hyper/high)

how are you? i'm sorry for being all weird and depressing recently and self absorbed, thanks so much for all your help with everything. how are you set for exams and such? you are doing them arent you at the moment?

i'm feeling so

Arrgh! A bunny/cat monster!

...how long's the contract for?

Awwwwwh! How cute! ...Have you had him in your sights for long, or was it a sudden encounter? *gossip face*

A in you life every once in a while is a good thing

To friendship

Don't worry.. if you need to get something else, get it out, no use suffering in silence
I'm shattered - in the middle of my As, got another week left, see? Tiring. Last year it was all over in 3 days, but it's been sooooo drawn out...

maybe it'll explode?

until i die? i have no idea. sucky job getting used by everyone for their own amusement.

but its all made better by my cutest ever customer who keeps coming back again and spending money just to hang around and see me because he's wonderful. i spent the night at his place last night, we had a fantastic time and way too much to drink but we were hungover together which was good. i don't think i did anything too embarrassing...

you can talk to me too, friends work both ways. are your exams over now? you totally bored yet?

GLITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTERRRR!!!!

*throws a grenade* Nah, it didn't work. *large explosion, followed by baaing* Do sheep and grass normally fly so low this time of year?

...you aught to find out how long that contract is for, really Helps to know the terms, case you find sommat better

oooo... bad idea mixing love and money....

Exams are over, have too many odd jobs to do to be bored yet. Stuff just piles up when you haven't had time to do it Really tired now though Have to wait 'till August to get the results That's, like, forever...

Sparkly things? Where!?!

they do where i come from...

its a kinda i sold my soul for the cash sorta deal...i haven't signed anything but i'm, shall we say, obliged to stay.

he's not paying me, he's paying the business. i don't want to think of it like that...he says he likes me for me...

i'm always busy, worn out like anything! esp now with the added strain of relationships...or just the one. my one. awwww.

sorry to hear your all sleepy, whats the jobs like now then? less? get loads of rest

*SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY*

As long as there are ample warning signs: "beware, low flying sheep" etc then it's all good. I guess you have to be careful not to wear that "fresh cut grass" cologne as well. Have sheep stuck to you all day, otherwise...They just don't come out in the wash, y'know.

Is this "obliged" as in, "if you don't stay we'll break your thumbs"?

Best not to think of it like that. But... I don't know, I'd take anything he says with a pinch of salt. I know I don't know him, but, well, you're young, y'know. Naive a little still, maybe? Whatever the situ, I hope it all pans out well

Awwwh! Skye and...erm... someone, sitting in a tree...

I seem to be untidying things at the same rate I'm tidying them. Best to give up for now Been trying to sort out accomodation for uni *bites nails* Ooo er. It's all good, though

Shiny, shiny...

depends what kind of washing powder you use. they dont like some, y'know the bio ones, that are alive...

uh huh, obliged to stay but not to say where it is.

thanks for the good vibes honeycakes, despite a few arguments over my job we're still going strong, he said he loved me....!!!!

his name is bradleigh, lee for short

good luck, which uni did you pick as your number one in the end?

Arrrgh! The living washing powder! It comes out at night and eats my socks!!

man, that sucks...

Well that's pretty sweet! glad it's going good!

Ooooh... Skye and Lee, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g IT works extra well because Lee rhymes with tree!

I picked Warwick as my number one - which is somewhere near Birmingham. Grades come out in about a week now. I'm scared

and your pants and your shirts and trousers and other delicates so you have nothing to wear and have to go out NAKED!

i know.

for now, i'm not being pessimistic but...yeah i am

lee is a tree too, he's really tall with cute fuzzy hair.
i refuse to call him brad, cos it makes me think of brad pitt who is a loser

you'll do great. i have every confidence in you. What course?

sign my cast?
xx

I hate it when that happens. The cops always get angry. What's their problem? They say I'm crazy when I'm shopping naked, and I say "look, it's not my fault, the washing powder ate my clothes again". And then they put me in with a psychiatrist who goes "umm" and "aah" and writes little notes in his red pen while frowning at me over half moon spectacles and the next thing I know I've got full room and bord. If you ask me, it's the cops that are crazy...



Think smiley happy thoughts... like butterflies.... being attacked by manic cats with flamethrowers! HAhahaha! *cough*

Awwwh, Lee the Tree-man
Brad Pitt sucks. I really don't get why everyone fancies him. One of my teachers used to have such a thing about Brad Pitt and Stupid Beckham [that is the correct way of spelling his first name, I checked before I wrote it] and she ALWAYS used to be able to incorporate them into a lesson somehow. Crazt thing.
So yeah - down with Brad!

Philosophy Seems like the perfect opportunity to confuse people
Thanks for the vote of confidence

Ooooh, can I draw a flying saucer on it with an alien hula-dancing?
How come you've got a cast?

Cops are. They keep trying to arrest me too...Stupid. Its not your fault that they got eaten!

is good

What? 'backs away slightly'

He's my babe. I'm currently sitting in his flat in my underwear, stealing his computer to type this one handed. Not that you really needed to know about my underwear...
Brad Pitt is overrated, Beckham is under the thumb and everyone knows that Johnny Depp is the way to go and Lee has just slapped me for saying so.

LUCK LUCK LUCK LUCK LUCK LUCK LUCK Kiss for LUCK

I drew it for you, right on the top. Any message?
I broke my wrist at work. Fell over, landed awkward and didn't realise til the customer had gone. But it does mean that i've got time off. Hence why i'm at my boyfriends flat writing this at midnight in my underwear.

WOOHOO!!
Love and hugs and mega luck for your results!!!!!!!!
LOVEEEEE!!!!!!

p.s. sorry, he's high - Lee

Hmmm... Perhaps we could sue the washing powder company for compensation?

More of the type, meself

Okay okay, so maybe I'm crazy... but what's wrong with flamethrower-weilding cats? Every household should have one. Good security device.

ADmittedly the underwear bit was superfluous, but fortunately there was no detailed description of said underwear involved, so I'm not /too/ traumatised Play nice, you two
That told you who's boss! Never seen it with Johnny personally, but he's a step in the right direction...

Thankyou It's tomorrow now and I can't. stop. having. nightmares. *big bags under eyes*

"The mystical alien will dance you better! Dance, alien, dance!"

Ouch.... Man, that sounds harsh...
But hey, time off + boyfriend + underwear =

Love and hugs and stuff back!

Slapped wrist for Skye!
You better keep an eye on him, Lee!

they are too tight, theyd just blame the machine or something.

i love a good but a is definitely good when one can afford it darling

but so is a burglar alarm. or a budgie. apparently...if you think about it, a flamethrower would damage more of your stuff than the burglar...

BIG CRUSTY Y-FRONTS!!!!! Nah they were simple blue boxer shorts.
nah they were kinky ones for me! (go away lee.)
I don't want to (go away lee)
But your lying, they were kinky tight boxers (leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)
ok i'm going

sorry about that EE

Johnny Depp is THE hottest of the HOT! I would give anything to...but i guess you don't want to know that...

I'm sure your nightmares will pass. *supportive hug*
*KISSES* lots of kisses!!!!!!

did it

or no underwear, depends on your kind of holiday...

LOVE HUGS AND SEXYNESS I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

(i'm trying - lee)

Unless you could set up a video-camera in the washing machine and have PROOF... [I'm thinking this is getting rather too elaborate for a surreal joke?]

always tastes like cat p*ss to me...and I should know, being a cat owner Cider is the worst

But at least a flamethrower would be /fun/

Ewwww That's enough info about your pants [and Lee's kinky tastes] for now, thanks

...I can fill in the rest of that sentence
I liked him in "Once Upon a Time in Mexico". I have to admit, he /is/ hot in that film.... But maybe I just have a thing for Mexican banditos?

Thankyou! It all turned out okay in the end!

Yay! Dancing alien!

Yeah, but you might struggle to get though customs nekkid. Allthouugh... at least they wouldn't be worried about you carrying a bomb!

You too, you crazy diva..

( Not hard enough.. )

Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep him calm, i'm really sorry and he's gonna kill me for this but this is lee and i just hacked his account to tell you that i'm really sorry for his behaviour and i am trying to get him away from that which is causing him problems. Its just a bit of fun on my part but i guess he's just not as strong. dunno, but i am trying and thank you for being patient with him. *hug*
yours
Lee
x

Hi Lee...
I'm really glad you're looking out for him I do worry sometimes [Sorry Skye when you see this, but I do have a built in "mum" thing, as most girls tend to] - He's been through a lot, bless him, and I'd hate to think he's getting himself into a worse situation
Thanks for the note, Lee, I'm glad for it

I cant believe he F did that! W! I'm not in trouble or anything and how dare he hack my account.

I'm grateful for your concern but really, i'm fine. Just working a little too hard and needing a pick-me-up now and then.

I'm glad to hear about your results and hope you got in where you wanted to, which is....*hinthint*

Continuing our previous converstaion, He does look supremely H O T in that movie, do you have a thing for them? or could it be that you are a closetted Johnny Depp fan???

RENT IS OUT ON DVD!!!!!!! its sooooooooooooooooooooogoooooooooooddddd!!!
I love it I love it.

can i ask you something personal? Its kinda for advice, y'see i umm...sorta cheated on lee...in an abstract sorta way...i didnt DO anything but i said stuff and i feel so guilty now...what shall i do?
sorry to lumber this on you but i have nowhere else to turn.
I feel so down.

I've gotta go to work now. Back to work, cast and all. Customers give me sympathy. Thanks for bein there babe. Love you.
xx

ps, i changed my password

Awh, I think he's just concerned about you, which is sweet. Don't be too annoyed. I know how horrible it is when someone des that to you, but he didn't seem to mean it that way. Hope you didn't mind me responding

As long as that's truth

I'm off to Warwick October 1st I've spent tha past week buying saucepans and potato peelers

I think it is the bandito thing Dark and dangerous

Pirates of the Caribean? I saw about the first 20 minuites of it, but Keira Knightly just annoyed me so much, AND flipping Orlando Bloom... I just had to give up

Should maybe have e-mailed me that, because either way it's likely he knows now.
If you feel guilty, you have to own up, because otherwise you won't stop feeling guilty. And if you can be honest, it'll show how much you value Lee, which I know you do, otherwise you wouldn't feel guity. Don't expect him to be pleased initially with the revelation, but I'm sure he'll be reasonable.

That's waht I'm here for, if I can ever be useful. And don't think you're lumbering me!
Don't feel low

It's a pleasure. Hope you have a good day

ps- good idea