h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley. WHAT Is Your

excuse for that

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley. "WHAT Is Your

excuse for that

Oops... sorry about that. And what is a Waitrose shopping trolley?

Waitrose is a big supermarket chain in the UK. A Waitrose shopping trolley is the metal contraption on wheels that one pushes around said supermarket and puts ones sausages and frozen peas and lemonade bottles into.

continuing on...

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley. "WHAT Is Your excuse for that

?" He cried as

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as

juice dripped down

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down

his Waitrose shopping trolley.

(Just came across this story, it is too fabulously good to let rot!)

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.

"Ask me not

(Yeah, youre right, but we need more contributors to add that extra unpredictability!)

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley. "Ask me not

my excuse, but rather my

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley. "Ask me not my excuse, but rather my

shoe size, you

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley. "Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you

rediculous excuse for

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley. "Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you rediculous excuse for

a dragon-plant theif."

(Yes, we do need more people, can everyone advertise this on other threads?)

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley. "Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."

"I like your

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your

style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"

His only reply

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"
His only reply

was "Silence! You are in great danger!"

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"
His only reply was "Silence! You are in great danger!"

Blarg the Incontinent

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"
His only reply was "Silence! You are in great danger! Blarg the Incontinent keeps a small

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"
His only reply was "Silence! You are in great danger! Blarg the Incontinent keeps a small

pointy object in

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"
His only reply was "Silence! You are in great danger! Blarg the Incontinent keeps a small pointy object in

a pointy-object case

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.
"WHAT Is Your excuse for that?" He cried as juice dripped down his Waitrose shopping trolley.
"Ask me not my excuse, but rather my shoe size, you ridiculous excuse for a dragon-plant thief."
"I like your style, but couldn't you come through the door next time, Desi?"
His only reply was "Silence! You are in great danger! Blarg the Incontinent keeps a small pointy object in a pointy-object case

which he's pointing