h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Ok, can people post around a bit to get more people to post to this thing...)

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality,

he heard a clatter

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter

on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest)

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest).

Breaking wind violently

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently,

Ernest launched himself

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself

into the air

(and just think, we left him hanging there for over a year!!!)

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the air

-ing cupbard, and

(I spent a year in an airing cupboard once)

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupbard, and

hid from the

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the

enormous pulsating orange

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange

sea-cucumber, that oozed

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed

like Des O'Connor

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor.

Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled

of freshly minted

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted

kangaroo droppings, baked

by a politician

causing Ernst to

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to

lose control of

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of

what sanity he

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he

kept in a

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a

Waitrose shopping trolley.

Once there lived a worbler called Ernest who was known for his delicious purple bouillabaise. He also made grrrrrrreat muffins sadly, his muffins were not completely made of cabbages and a random Jullarrbait, but the best muffins were made by his mortal enemy!! Blarg the Incontinent. Blarg was a powerful king and ruled over the entire Universe. He had a weakness though. You see, Blarg was vulnerable to only the long extinct dragon-plant that Ernest knew intimately, so he decided that a time machine sounded delicious, and easily built one. He used it to travel back to the time when dragons kept beautiful gardens, and proceeded to search for some nubile young maidens. As he walked he heard a strange hissing coming from his foot.
'I thought I had fixed that puncture' thought Ernest, the only warbler with inflatable feet. He began to walk in circles, praying for rescue. Just as he gave up hope he saw a nubile young maiden carrying a pump action shotgun. "Oh Maiden," he cried, "Please blow my feet back up." She responded by pursing her full, pouty lips. "Here's the valve!" She bent down, and setting aside all female reservation pressed her mouth to his toe. Ernest started to warble as his worbler-sense tingled like a bad rash. His legs reinflated, Ernest kissed the Maiden's oddly-shaped ring and was transported into a dragon's belly shaped swimming pool in which there grew some dragon-plant. At last! He swam over to the looming dragon-plant, and took out a scythe. With a precipitous swing, he severed and pocketed some.
"WHO DARES TO ENTER MY POOL AND STEAL DRAGON-PLANT?" Roared a most scarey voice. Ernest looked about, terrified, only to see a huge hippopotamus, wearing a speaker.
'Who are you?', Cried Ernest, boldly. (Though he was swiftly loosing bladder-control.)
"Oh gross!" Said a nearby frog, who had pink bunny rabbit ears.
His intrinsic warbler bravery prompted him to approach the fearsome frog, the dragon-plant now withing reach. The frog opened his mouth and screamed. The hippo closed its eyes and began to hum The Star Spangled Banner, a strange power, revulsion perhaps, filled the air, causing poor Ernest to vibrate like a washing-machine. He continued to get louder, electrifying the unfortunate frog and causing the Hippo to falter. Instantly, Ernest leaped for his time-machine, grabbing some dragon-plant, and slamming the door behind him. He ed the destination time to "today" and held tightly onto a handle, with horror, as the machine informed him that "today" didn't exist.
"Oh No, I don't want tomorrow! I must've changed history with my muffins!!" moaned Ernest, as he patted dragon-plant in absent-minded despair. With a sigh, he decided that he would add a single day to the destination so he could warn himself not to change history. He pressed the yesterday button, and the Beatles song began to play. Returning to yesterday, he lay in bed wondering, "Why do lilac quesedillas taste like my muffins? And when will dragon-plant become available in stores? Not till Christmas of what year? As he pondered his new reality, he heard a clatter on his rooftop (it's a new style of worbler nest). Breaking wind violently, Ernest launched himself into the airing cupboard, and hid from the enormous pulsating orange sea-cucumber, that oozed like Des O'Connor. Desi, the sea-cucumber smelled of freshly minted kangaroo droppings, baked by a politician, causing Ernst to lose control of what sanity he kept in a Waitrose shopping trolley.



"WHAT Is Your