Journal Entries
The Stages of Grad School
Posted Sep 29, 2005
1) Denial- Experienced within the first week, usually after given five assignments that it would have taken you a week to complete during undergrad. "No way- there is no way I'm going to get this much work done."
2) Anger- Experienced after the first assignment is due, and the prof piles up three more to replace it. May lash out at groups that you don't feel are working as hard as they should. "
What the 
do they expect me to do here? I'm not a ing miracle worker!"
3) Bargaining- Trading off of other essential activities so you can get your work done. "OK- if I don't eat and grab a nap in between the class I have to take and the lab I have to TA, I can skimp on exercise, stay up until 4 AM, and maybe finish this paper on time...
"
4) Depression- Characterized by cravings for chocolate and fits of tears brought on by watching undergrads in the lab you're TAing. Medicated with good coffee. "I am never going to ing get this done! Why, why why did I apply? Everyone else knows what they're doing while I have no ing clue! I don't belong here! 
"
5) Acceptance- Brought on by the realization that you've already done five "impossible" things before breakfast. "'Write a paper critically analyzing three peer-reviewed articles in an hour, making sure to include outside references?' Yeah, sure, put it on the pile. I'll finish it after grading."
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Latest reply: Sep 29, 2005
Black Death Allergies
Posted Sep 24, 2005
So, as many of you may have noticed in a journal entry that I wrote when I was mad at the world, I had some kind of Black Death thing following me around all weekend, and most of the past week. It hit me on Friday first with sinus congestion and a nose that ran like a faucet, progressed into a nice headache, and finally graded into a sort of wet cough.
That wouldn't have been so bad if I had been able to curl up in bed for the next two days. Instead, I spent the weekend drugged out in the back of a van bouncing around Massachusetts when I was supposed to be drinking with my fellow new grad students/partners in crime. And it was only worse on Monday, as all things tend to be.
Anyway, I was sick of feeling sick, so I called the nurse at Penn State Health services. Now, Akron had health services too, but they compare to Penn State sort of like a tealight to a spotlight. Penn State actually has more than two doctors, stays open more than four hours a day, and always has a nurse on call for advice. She said there had been some strep throat going around, and you can be sure that's the last think I need with ANOTHER trip coming up, this time to the VA barrier islands which will be considerably damper. I made an appointment, and got my sniffly self down there to get looked at by a doctor. 
They were really good about getting me in quickly- I didn't have to wait for five minutes before the nurse called me in and took my vitals, and only a few minutes more to see the doctor- actually, a nurse practicioner, but in these cases they're just as good and sometimes better.
Apparently, it's just an allergy. An extremely severe allergy, mind you, but nothing that I need an antibiotic for. Plus, I didn't have to email everyone on the trip and say that I gave them all strep throat. 
At least we figured out what happens to me every fall- I get an allergic reaction to something, put off going to the doctor because I can't afford it, get my sinuses severely out of whack, end up with a sinus infection because some little bacteria likes the nice, damp, low oxygen environment of congested sinuses, and go to the doctor anyway for an antibiotic. This time around, I caught it early, because they offer the grad assistants a kick-arse health insurance program with prescription drug coverage. And thank goodness for that drug coverage! Do you know what the two medicines (both generic) I got would have come to if I hadn't had insurance? $116! I don't know how people can afford to stay healthy!
Anyway, breathing freely for the first time in a week, this is Scandrea, signing off!
*sniff*
*peeks under desk*
Oh. So that's what happened to that piece of pizza.
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Latest reply: Sep 24, 2005
What the bleep is the matter with these people?!?
Posted Sep 20, 2005
I was reading through my RSS feeds this morning when I came across one article that made me spit out my English Breakfast.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html?ex=1284868800&en=6a8c0c493c0d4249&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
These women, who have practically had their educations handed to them, say they /want/ to become stay-at-home moms!
I mean, not that being a mom is a bad thing, but you really don't have to go through six-odd years of college/grad/med/law school to do it. Might as well get knocked up right out of high school and save yourself the student loans. They claim their education will help them get better part-time jobs, and let them raise their kids.
God, I wonder how wonderful motherhood will be when they're cleaning vomit off their versace.
I mean, did the past thirty years even happen, or did I just wake up from a dream? Aren't women supposed to be able to have as much as men do? Aren't they allowed to step away from the stove for a while and have an actual career?
One of them even said that she's seen kids with stay-at-home moms, and kids without. I have news for that snotty little rich spoiled brat- my mom worked not only because she had to or we wouldn't be able to make bills, but because she loved her job. I think if she didn't she would have been on Prozac a long time ago.
Maybe someday these poor deluded rich girls will see what life is really like- I just hope they're not into their third marriage when they do. Hopefully they won't screw their kids' lives up.
Discuss this Journal entry [22]
Latest reply: Sep 20, 2005
On Recipes and the fickle nature of my stomach
Posted Sep 14, 2005
So... today was a pretty ordinary day, other than the fact that I decided to go swimming this evening. After I spent my 25 min in the pool (and another 5 in the hot tub) it occurred to me that perhaps I swallowed some air or pool water, because I felt like the contents of my stomach were about to make a reappearance into daylight. I spent the next few hours eating crackers and small stuff, trying to settle it back down.
I just clicked on the recipe email my mom sent me, it's almost 11 PM, and now I'm hungry!
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Latest reply: Sep 14, 2005
Gladiola Girl
Posted Sep 6, 2005
So, to explain my disappearance over the past four days, I was a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding.
For being a bridesmaid, it was actually pretty sweet- we had these cool navy blue dresses that I can actually wear again, no tulle. We had steak at the rehearsal, and prime rib at the reception. I got to spend a night with all my friends in Akron again. It was a non traditional ceremony in the Civil War Memorial Chapel (in the middle of a cemetary but anyway) that was absolutely gorgeous. Perfect weather. Hippie minister. They both started bawling the second she walked into the church- so cute! We each got our own favorite flowers in our boquets.
She remembered!
My grandfather died in 1989 of a stroke. We went to visit him when it happened, but I was still too young to really understand, and I didn't find out until a while later. I don't remember being told, but I think I knew when we were there. When they turned us away.
I was still very little when my grandfather was alive. I remember a few things- like every time he'd come over, I'd have to show him the writing under our kitchen table. His white hair and the wrinkles and veins on his hands. Playing with Lincoln Logs on his living room floor. But I remember the gladiolas best- every year on my birthday, he would give me gladiolas. I was his gladiola girl.
Fourteen years later, I go into the chapel in my bridesmaid gown to pick up my boquet, and I find that they're all different. Her maid of honor got gerbera daisies, her sister had calla lillies, and her other friend had sunflowers. I knew which was mine right away, because I had told her the story.
The gladiolas are sitting in the vase on our kitchen table. They are so beautiful!
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Latest reply: Sep 6, 2005
Scandrea
Researcher U186740
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