Journal Entries

Influence and Intrusion- The pavements of Babylon

I'm still here in Babylon and while I'm finally on the pavement rather than in the middle of the road I find that the pavement is still irritating if only questionably dangerous. But more to the point I'm still balancing on the curb whilst those that I love still question why I get angry at those who make me teeter here. And if I stop being angry or rather if I have to become more passive to be a begrudgingly welcome guest of the pavement, is it worth the price myself and other Jaywalkers would have to pay?

I'll continue when I've calmed down a little. One day I'll make more sense.

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Latest reply: Jan 4, 2002

Jaywalking in circles....

I'm back, 'jaywalking' is still proving a somewhat dangerous or rather plain confusing business but it is now happier and less lonely.
When I came to the 'notion of nation' I was running so hard to get away from the wall it had become (and still is) that I found myself running all the harder into it. I have a habit of running in circles, the problem is that circles can go on forever.
What I didn't talk about too much before apart from a brief ramble about towers and ladies, is that alot of the reason I was so scared is that I have someone and I was terrified of losing them as well. Or rather I was terrified of staying with them for the wrong reasons, of being weak enough not to let go. After all if I couldn't let go to save them then how could I consider my actions to be done out of love?
I was afraid that to stay would seem to be for myself rather than for the two of us and would ultimately hurt her. I love being here but I love being with her more, in short to lose here would be to lose her and if I was to be sincere I almost beleived I would have to leave her to love her.
But the more I thought about it I thought why should I sacrifice the relationship for something as flimsy as other peoples 'notion of nation'? If she loved me why should I let us be sacrificed for a legal framework and it's associated hang-ups? It was time for a leap of faith and to make the only recognised commitment to her, I proposed to her two weeks ago.

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Latest reply: Nov 16, 2001

Exile from Babylon

I may soon have to stop my jaywalking, the gates to the tower are locked and I fear that if I use the locks of my lady to help me I will cause her pain if I don't cause her to fall...

But then again why shouldn't a circular key help us both? I read once that "Democracy like love can survive any attack save neglect and indifference". It seems that Babylon has already succumbed to such attacks, why should the help of my lady lead to us succumbing to them too?

(I'm not crazy but sometimes metaphors give a better explanation than direct speech.)

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Latest reply: Oct 26, 2001


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Jaywalker in Babylon

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