h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was testing out the bugs in ITEM-LIST, IMG and PICTURE. Not that Jim will admit to them of course.

Still, you could have chosen a blob that has less significance when repeated a huge number of times at differing amplitudes...

There was a green parrot from Luton
Who suddenly put his best suit on.
"I'm tired of this nest",
to his mate he confessed,
"I'm off to IKEA for a futon".

It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday It is Friday and it is raining and I'll get wet going to the pub, unless it stops raining

Oh yes - the sky is leaking. Who turned the weather on?

Yeah Friday! And our sky is not leaking a bit! Happy weekend.

*jumps up and down *jumps left and right *jumps back and forth I know who it is its those damm weather presentors on Radio Four Why can't they make it sunny, and give us a nice respectible temperature all year round, with rain only when no one wants or needs to go outside Now, the government think they are all very clever, oh yes they do, they think they are so clever,
'look at me' they say 'look how clever I am' they say, and
'I'm a clever person I is, and i is in the government' they say, and
'yo djude I is clever government person, so wat u do/?' and other such words of what they think are wise wisdom.
They just think they is so clever, but they ain't! Oh no 'Mame, they ain't no clever mister amongst a single one of the clever government types, and dis is why,
Well, they thinks they is clever, they set guidelines and performacne targets, but do they set a single performance target for the weather presentor on radio four? I say no, No a thousand times no, and go boil an egg, run out onto the street and count it again meister, don't give me no
'I sis clever goverment person' Ms government person, as it don't cut no flax here mate, no mame, no sir reee...
Cause, its obvious, all they got to do is set minimum performance tartgets, for rain and tempurature, for the radio four weather presentors, and hay presto! If only they'd realise,,,,, but hay no, little mouse, they divuldge nothing more than the average lemming on a bad day, with their
'oh hello's'
and
'please mind the gaping hole in my leg'
But don't cut none with me, no no no no it doesn't, and a thousand misserable holidays to all of them, in their expensive skiing resorts and villas in teh south of France 'Just give me five minutes' they say, and I say;
' no no nono no no no no no no no nobody talks to the meister like that little government silly person, so you cut no more of that speckled sor tof tight lip smacking slant in this direction, or I'll cut the chain loose and demonstrate my leet skills, and blow and hold, you got no revolutionary skills, as sure as it is july, I'll show 'un'
And then, like this guy, just minding his buisness... well I never, so you see? Its all the goverments fault...

I think we can take it that you're angry then - with just about everyone and everything!

well, No really, just the government really, and sort of with the radio four weather presentors; though of course it isn't really the fault of hte radio four presentors, more th egovernments fault well, and the lemmings and lamposts obviously, and that damm brick wall

The parrot got out his umbrella
and thought "what a smartly dressed fella
I am in this suit
with my brolly to boot
I doubt that I've ever looked sweller".

I think its stopped raining, hang on I'll go check

I've just been for a walk to tesco (about 3/4 of a mile) and back in the very light drizzle outside and actually quite enjoyed it.

I think in the NorthWest rain becomes a way of life. You learn to appreciate it, and its smell. You don't notice until it's gone, like it has been these last couple of weeks, and then when it comes back you think "wow, rain!" ... or it could just be me.

~

The parrot got out his sunscreen
and thought "with this sun I'll get too green"
the color of grass
doesn't flatter my...Um. Nevermind.
And I want to be a sweller looking feller.

I hope "grass" is pronounced with a nice long A there... I'd hate to think your donkey isn't flattered by the colour green.

To think I almost missed :

There was a green parrot from Luton
Who suddenly put his best suit on.
"I'm tired of this nest",
to his mate he confessed,
"I'm off to IKEA for a futon".


Without forgetting the wonderful :

The parrot got out his umbrella
and thought "what a smartly dressed fella
I am in this suit
with my brolly to boot
I doubt that I've ever looked sweller".


SEF you’re wonderful (official). I saw the parrot poster, it’s great but….. remember we want the parrot back alive.

In fact you’ve been so brill about this parrot business, I think Spook should let you have it…..WHEN it is found.

The best I can do is:

There was a parrot that came from Spook’s
Who put it in a sandwich seen in recipe books
Deni wasn’t very keen
even said “feathers not clean”
and eating parrots gets you such funny looks


and I can’t get a last line for :
There is a parrot that’s very green
Throughout the world, he’s always being seen
deni goes rushing about, occasionally finding a feather
But only seems to go where they have nice weather

Oh no - I don't want the parrot. I'm allergic to most of the stuff on this planet. Why don't you just stick to the original plan of feeding it egg sandwiches. Better check what sort of eggs though.

taking it hitchhiking throughout the galaxy..... as you may have guessed I'm now dedicated to FINDING the parrot but in fact I don't want it either nor am I really convinced that Spook wants it back (after all, he's the one who put it in a sandwich).

problems, problems
parrots, parrots

Colonel Jack O Neil to a Rebel Jaffra Guard
Colonel O Neil We will cross the bridge when you get to it.
Jaffra Guard It is too heavily guarded.
Colonel O Neil That was a expression

Why does Tilk wear eye shadow?

kat

just the kind of boy he is !