h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I find this entire discussion appalling. Call me a traditionalist but I believe in good old fashioned natural methods. Where's the stork?

For lubrication?

Brings a whole new meaning to the term "bun in the oven"

Why's your cat called Stork?
Cos when me dad came in drunk one night he tripped over it and said "I'll kill that cooking fat!"

Have I lost something in translation?

Stork?... long legged bird?... attributed with delivering babies in cartoons?... associated with other childhood folklore and myths such as the tooth fairy, the easter bunny and Santa Claus?

...and a 90 year old brand name for margarine.

Did not know that.

Sorry dude, so easy to forget you're not from this side of the pond sometimes

Pour yourself a light a fag, order in the mother of all curries, put the DVD in the player, light the candles, get yourself comfortable...

I'll let you take it from there.

RF

Just back from the physio (she gave up her 'boring' staff meeting to fit me in, bless her!) who has recommended getting down on all fours to let gravity do the work...

Down on all fours to let gravity do the work? Sounds like they want you to give birth via your belly button...

You could try to eat spinach and sit near a giant magnet?



(Yes, I used to watch heaps of Tex Avery cartoons when I was a lad )

The last couple of weeks are the worst - but enjoy the peace and quiet while you've still got it! Do things you'll not be able to for a while - go to the cinema, spend all morning in bed, and all afternoon reading a book.

Baby will come out when he/she's ready. My first was his-back-to-mine as well - very long slow backachy labour. I spent a lot of labour time in the bath, which seemed to give some relief.

No offence, but your post has just summed up all the cliches and advice that I've been given for the last few weeks by everyone around me which has driven me nuts I do enjoy a nice hot bath though, but seeing as I'm trying to get the baby to turn round lying on my back is out for now

I just want this over and done with because I'm in a hell of a lot of discomfort and as I lost my job just as I found out I was pregnant I've had almost nine months of doing absolutely nowt, so as weird as it sounds I'm looking forward to all the running around!

*hands fords a pair of running shoes, a set of starting blocks and holds starting pistol next to ear*
Hon yoourrrrr maaaarks!

Psst, can you lend me a tenner so I can buy some running shorts?

*Averts eyes*
I expect you'll need the extralastic ones. They cost more.
*Lends fords GBP10.17*

What's the 17p for? My bus fare?

Well the good news is that the baby does seem to be finally dropping - my belly button now seems to be pretty much in its original place, albeit about eight inches out! I really, really hope I don't have to go for the induction as they would do that 10 days after my due date, taking me into March

Ooooh, good luck!