h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I sent you an e-mail to your Vimes5 address - basically I just wanted to know if you are still interested in kick-starting another H2G2 Storytime.

Clive.

And I sent an e-mail in reply. Quid pro quo, Mr Ostrich

Mr L (coming over all Matrix-y, so should probably go and lie down)

well I just replied to your reply. (I did it very quikcly so you may not have noticed. )

In any event this is just a duplicate message referring you to the "story so far" summary you suggested we do.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/A1150002

as usual it's a work in progress so any spelling mistakes I'll get eventaully but feel free to suggest anything you want to see appear....

Clive.

and "Quid Pro Quo" is from "Silence of the ", mate.

Remember if you can, the eskimo who appeared out of a snowdrift to assist Jill in being pursued by the yeti in H2G2 ST1?

He gave Jill her horoscope; specifically involving the dietary habits of Siberian yeti's and their instiable desire for blueberry muffins. However he also said to her "The dying Pilchard bleeds under a Turqoise Moon" and said that he was "A Friend"

WHAT IF ---- he wasn't an eskimo at all - but one of our coven of Monks? operating in the Far North and ensuring Jill's survival for a future that she could not forsee....

Amazing isn't it, what a bored mind can conjour up given a few idle hours trapped in an office.

I was just trying to organise my thoughts as to possible directions Ep. III might take and here for you delectation are the fruits of my labours... what follows is literally me thinking up ways to develop the story so if a few idea get repeated or cross over not problem - just more to choose from!

* the eskino again - what was he doing in the frigid north? Maybe the monks have a secret network of underground caverns?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|The Dying Pilchard bleeds under a Turqoise Moon. |
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Bleeds? - Scarifice?

The Turqoise Moon - Pub in former Soviet Bloc Country -
(Try The Blue Moon pub, has the only toilet in 100 miles but it's outdoors, and it get's very cold at night. i.e a promising but ultimately fruitless lead for Arthur and X to begin their investigations?)

What else?

Dying Pilchard? poss. title for the head of the religious Order of Monks

whatif: - monks painted purple 'moon' the newly appointed head of the religious order (Annabell or some other?) in a bizarre but deeply signifcant procession of initiation?


**Don't forget** The Bizmark Fetishists - bored professionals who lead exciting double lives.

Possibly not intregal to the plot (and amusing side group.) bad guys or goodies? Lunatics or henchmen?



DIAMONDS <---- could "The Turqoise Moon" be a MASSIVE Diamond????


(I think Diamonds could be a winner - makes a chnage from megalomaniacs or Doomsday plots. Good old-fashioned Greed and Treachery.)

Bizmark Fetishists - Diamond Hunters? Hmmmmm....

At Some Point - we MUST return to the scene where Annabel materialised in mid air after teleporting from the Implosion at Stone Henge

* The Temple of Pillars should now be lit not dark. - allow us to decribe and explore more parts of of the temple (why would it be lit? - a ceremony perhaps?)

Temple - underground? Accesable only after defeating several lethal and improbably complex 'Indiana Jones style Booby traps. if Arthur and X are going in they had better be good or have Help.

Tim and The Leicestercat - plot to attack the Agency HQ. With Guy Isolated after sending away Bob et al and Arthur and X off Galivanting - the Agency is under-staffed and exposed.

Does Leicester succeed? is Guy captive by the end of Ep III?

God, The Devil & St Peter - could they be involed? Should they be involved (or have we done the whole divinity thing?)

Consider: a world of the dead sequence - bring back any old characters like Boutros, Goz and R-R-R-R-Rasputin. Maybe.

Finally a CLIMAX IN SPACE!!!

I REALLY want to do this! some sort of underground launch site (what on earth, or even under it, are those monks up to?? )

Arthur and X escape into space with important artefact / person (The Turqoise Moon Diamond?)
Crashland onto a desert island where Bob Jill and Heddingly are recouperating.

to welcomes of - 'there you are - wondered when Guy would send you over here.' from Jill Heddingly etc.

(see above) BUT Who is waiting for them back at the Agency - Leicestercat (mit spinning chair, pirannah fish tank and stroking a gerbil)

"I have been exspecting yooou."

or Guy?







Well so there you have it. a transcript of a few ideas jotted down this afternoon.

Let me know what you think.

Clive.

Ye gods, you are a creative swine Mr Ostrich! I love it all. The diamonds angle is great - sounds like it would be terrific fun to write.

On the 'turquoise moon' subject - you want a climax in space? A turquoise moon? Does this suggest anything? I think the monks should have really *huge* plans...but what could involve changing the colour of the moon? Terra-forming? Earth Mk. 2? Huge plantations of gooseberries? The mind boggles And some sort of sacrificial ritual involving...some sort of ritual sacrifice?

Perhaps Leicestercat could enlist the help of the greedy Bismarck fetishists to attack the Agency - I have this image of huge red zeppelins overshadowing London streets, raining fire I get that sort of thing a lot.

Don't forget the 'He' Annabel was being taken to see at the end of Ep2. Head of the Cult? Does she replace him? Oust him?

I have an idea for a small group of hitmen in the employ of the Cult. Don't want to say too much, it could ruin the surprise

What about Bob, Jill et al visiting Heddingly's island? Chance for a bit of nostalgia?

Any chance to write another scene with Rasputin would be a guilty pleasure God, the Devil, St Peter...if they turn up, they turn up. Probably shouldn't be central to the plot this time, though.

Gahh! Now my head is buzzing too. Got to start this soon!

Mr L

ha ha! infectious isn;t it?

I think the diamonds thing would be cool too . I nearly jumped out of my chair when I thought of it this afternoon - of you could see the bits of paper I've got this all scribbled down on, "Diamonds" has astericks and is Triple-Underlined!!!

I'll admit I hadn't considered turning the actual Moon blue. Has possiblities though... *thinks*

I too am rather in love with you notion of the bizmark fetishists and leicester teaming up to assault The Agency. It's certainly a lasting image zepplins circling MI6 (and the Koffi Family Egyptian Bistro...)

hmmm I was indeed thinking about the Cult Leader - and the whole cult of the pilchard thing. Maybe the Dying Pilchard is just that - the head of the order who is about to be replaced with a new more fundermentalist preacher who has no such notions of remaining underground....

snall group of hitmen? You have my undivided attention..

BTW what ever did we do with the cat-mided demon left behind when Leicester switched bodies? did it perish in the implosion of stone henge I hope not. I rather enjoyed the prospect of a two-ton demon with the the urges of a cat. (whiskas, curling up on your lap etc.)

Heddingly's Island. now there's some creative thinking! I like that. Ideally I'd hoped to pretty much exlude Bob and everyone else from this run, sicne they've been central to the previous two - still I suppose it would makes sense to give them a bit of plot - if onyl to set up the ending!

yes I'm itching too. trust me the office was *VERY* boring today and I just anted to hop online and start typing....

I have pictures of X worrying about the heat shield on the lifeboat as Arthur and X plummet back to earth and Arthur emerging from the wreckage of the craft after it's nose-first dive into a sandune...a few metres away Bob, Jill and Heddingly are sat in deckchairs sipping Pina Colada surveying the burnign wrekage that just fell out of the sky. Arthur emerges looking totally out of place in his black suit and tie, he loosens it a bit and with his trademark Studied Unflappability. sits down next to them and looks out to sea....

I'd better stop this and get to getting the page created so we can actually get to writing it!

P.S The Turqoise Moon - an Earth MK II that idea doesn;t want to go away...I'm not sure about colonising it, like terraforming but I think your onto a winner of some sort with The Moon (especially as it would give necessary rise to have a space rocket in the story.)

one more:

the old lady that Leicster is being looked after by - she had a 'brief and torrid fling with a GI' - maybe this could be our route into connecting Leicester and the Bizmark fetishists.


After her husband died, she sought him out again for friendship, discovered he lived in the village just down from the cotage and he nad his friends get together every second wednesday.....

Incidentally. the old woman's reaction to having her cat speak...I dunno I'd like to turn her bad. y'know nice quiet lady with some wicked intentions after all she was always complaining! Now she has a psychpathic, ex-russian mafia, ex demonic hell-spawn cat for a pet. what could that unholy allience create together!

What progress with the story, o warlord mine? Happy birthday, by the way Hope you get some nice presents, gramps, like a walking stick, or perhaps a rocking-chair

Ah, the arrogance of the young and immortal...

I think the old lady should remain oblivious to all the supervillain-esque deeds going on around her. Imagine this scene - Leicestercat is on the videophone to the General Assembly of the UN, threatening them with his new doomsday device. Meanwhile in the background, old Mrs Whatsername is pottering around making scones. Or how about...ring at the doorbell.
'Would I sign for what? No dear, I don't think I ordered any Scud missiles. Are you sure, dear? Well, I suppose you'd better leave them in the garden, then. But don't trample all over my vegetable patch!'

ha ha...progress a little.

I typed up some more of the synopsis of previous plots but I felt I was struggling with it a bit - I was trying to emphasise the whole 'mystery of the fish' thing so that anyone reading it would be given hopefully some helpful impetus with the direction of the story we are discussing amongst ourselves. (Obviously I'm eager to have everyone's new ideas included but at the same time it can't hurt if we are al starting at the same point.
and it was going rather well for storytime pt. 1 but I ended up merely summarising storytime pt. 2 so it needs a bit more work.

I also loaded up and feverishly studied the GuideML for the advert I created ages ago for pt.3 and floundered on ways to continue adding/improving on that. so basically I took a break from the enterprise and I'll see what I can do over the weekend.

mmmmm I was in two minds about the old woman. you may have a point. ::thinks::

young and immortal?


Just wait.

Bah...I'm never going to get old! Nevah!

Anyway...had one of those brainwave inspiration things.
The Leicestercat is basically starting again from the bottom rung of the evil genius ladder, with only one henchman and limited resources. So I had an idea for a scene where, rather than the UN, he's threatening the Scudthorpe Town Council with his dreadful home-made death ray, which Tim is manning from the attic window. He holds the town to ransom for...one thousand pounds! And some Whiskas. But just before he gets to fire the home-made doomsday device, Mrs Whatsername unwittingly foils the plan by unplugging the extension lead so she can use the hoover. It's supervillainy on a local scale.

I should go to bed now.

Does that mean we are jettesoning the plot of Leicester teaming up with the bizmark fetishists to attack the Agency? - 'cos I was looking forward to taking part in that (blimps over London etc.

i must ask you to check your facts properly this bob is obviously an imposter ive never met this jill she never met me so who states they saw us to gether

so you don't want a unrequited lusty love affair with a drop-dead gorgeous female secret agent with a sex drive that could bore a hole through Mount Everest?

Suit yourself.

legion...I'm having another look at those pages I mentioned now...

Kay, I'll scoot over and take a look at them. You got what I was talking about there, right? How we keep the whole team-up thing with the L-cat and the Bismarck fetishists, and just make that other thing a sort of opening for him?

Hi bob! Clive's right, you'd really like Jill. She's a good catch, if you don't weaken

that's some good tiing my boy!

I've just finshed GUIDEML-ing the summation page.

I'm thinking of cutting out and re-doing the sections that refer to Gonz and Annabel since theys eem the wekest - giving the information contained in them a bit of a poish. bring out the point of ananbael and the cult a bit more....