h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh no!

Will you be able to go online and say hi to us in that day or so?


Dancer

You're so lucky, Ex-Rambling!
Your Fan Club is still so young and
so pristine. It hasn't gotten full
of long strings of smileys yet. Silly
jokes or phrases that keep getting
repeated haven't taken over.

Are you absolutely sure that you trust
the rest of us not to pad your newborn
Fan Club with silly posts while you are
away, Ex-R? .

(By the way, some posters will come here
because they think Ex-R stands for X-Rated.
Heh, heh, heh. )

Wait!!! Do you mean it doesn't mean that?

Well, then I'm unsubscribing I was just waiting for the action to start


Dancer

You really blew it that time, Paul. Poor eR will come back, and there'll only be tumbleweeds tumbling ...

I'll watch over the fan club.

I'll watch over you


Dancer

Shea, I don't get the Tumbleweeds
allusion. Is Tumbleweeds running
from Bucolic Buffalo, or is that
manic spinster chasing him again?
Wait, I'll ask Limpid Lizard, maybe
he knows......

Tumbleweeds Saloon

ANNOUNCER: Things have gone awry in Gritty Gulch (Population: Variable)
since we last visited them. The backbreaking drought has been good for
the local vulture population (VULTURES: YIPPEE!!!), but bad for
everyone else (EVERYONE ELSE: BOOOOH!). As we rejoin our
Gritty Gulchers, we find three local cowpokes slaking their awesome
thirst in the Tumbleweeds Saloon....

TEX: That 'nouncer gits more annoyin' ever' day, doncha think?

JORGE: He's not so bad, senor. The drought is our real enemy.

SLIM: If you ask me, it's the heat wave. Why, it's 110 in the shade today.

(The door opens. A cockney flower girl and a well-dressed Englishman enter)

FLOWER GIRL: Garn, this 'eat is 'orrible, it is!

ENGLISHMAN: (To bartender) Siy, guv'nor, d'you serve ile 'ere?

TEX: (Ignoring the new arrivals) So, when do you think we'll git some
rain, then?

FLOWER GIRL: The rine in Spine sties minely in the pline!

ENGLISHMAN: I think she's got it, I think she's got it!

SLIM: (To Flower Girl) I cain't understand a word you said!

ENGLISHMAN: (Beaming) That's because my brilliant plan worked,
my good fellow! This young lady that you see is a princess
whom I have taught to talk like a common cockney flower
girl! You see, I am Henry Higgins' evil twin brother, and I
plan to take over the world, mwa ha ha!

JORGE: Si, senor, but you have not explained why you are here in
Gritty Gulch. There isn't much here that's worth taking over.

ENGLISHMAN: Sorry, I should have told you more about my vast
operations. I am also the droughtmaker extraordinaire! Just
by turning this valve (he twists a valve on a small vacuumlike
machine), I can stop the rain from coming for a whole year.

TEX: Somebody already beat ya to it, pardner. We ain't had no rain
for about that long already. (Thunder rolls in the distance)

SLIM: Hear that, ever'body? Our prayers have been answered.

FLOWER GIRL: The rine in Spine sties minely in.....

(A bolt of lightning hits the entrance to the saloon, as torrential rain
comes down outside.)

ENGLISHMAN: (Burying his head in his hands.) Oh, I'm ruined,
I'm ruined!

FLOWER GIRL:....the plain! The rain in Spain.....Oh, I have my perfect
English diction back. Oh, what a perfectly splendid feeling! But
what am I to do now? I've lost my kingdom, my cousin has claimed
the throne. From the looks of things out there, I'll have to swim to
get out.

BARTENDER: Fortunately, I am a Hollywood producer looking for a leading
lady for my new bathing-beauty musical extravaganza. Just sign on
the bottom line. (Thrusts contract in her face)

FLOWER GIRL: My word, this is so sudden! What if I don't swim well
enough?

BARTENDER: We'll get a stunt double. (To the three cowboys) You all
can be in the picture too, if you want.



(TO BE CONTINUED, UNLESS SOMEONE HAS A BETTER IDEA.....)

That was BIZARRE, Paul.

And I haven't even brought in the
Maharishi Sioux yet.

I just love the way your krazed mind works, Paul!

Hey eR!

When it works at all....

But thanks

hehe, if i only could carry on something as good as that

definately a class act. Hay, ever body, Ah's back fer a spell...oops, I've been reading the Gritty Gulch saga. Thanks for the posts. And ex stands for Extreemly amused.
gonna run the fan clubs, then sign out till wed.(Oops, I mean wibble, or thing. Weather permitting.
lots of smileys.

Howdy Pardner!

looove the hat.

Why thank ya, Maam. I's jus' in town for the in' convention.

Hay! ex doesn't stand for THAT! you want the Cathouse

Hmmmm.

My ten-gallon hat done sprung a leak (Shoot!).
Now it's only a seven-gallon hat....


(I have a ten-gallon aquarium. I wonder
if that would do in a pinch?)