h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lion here - Oh, my God, I'm mortified.
I can only beg your forgiveness for Pinniped and all his rudeness concerning elbows. You're all terribly good sports and definitely do not deserve to be thus treated. I'm sure that Pinniped was only being touchy because he was so ill at ease in your bar; it's a comparatively normal, humdrum world out here by the Pier. Nonetheless, any embarrassment he feels was clearly self-inflicted (and penguin-enhanced). Nothing to do with your good self or any of the other estimable clients.
I'm going to kill him when I find him.
Now - must be off. I think I feel a little Haiku coming on before I dash to work. I'll be missing for a couple of days, I'm afraid, but then I promise to drop by the bar with Pinniped in tow - so that he can apologise in person. Or rather in otarine. Is that the word?
Please DO NOT bother with any fish-heads in advance of this visit. This is about contrition, not indulgence. Have one of these, by the way : (Careful, it only looks like a stiffy. It's actually cod-liver-oil-on-the-rocks...)
Sorry, sorry, sorry once again. Now I must go beg Knitbunny's forgiveness. Reading my poetry, Ohmygawd, it doesn't bear thinking about...
Lion (the other half)
PS - Pod...mmm...I don't suppose you're another collective of phoocoid mammals as well, are you? I guess not. Just a thought...

There's nought to forgive Pinniped for Lion, I reckon, unless he wants to be forgiven for making a entrance in the Lighthouse Bar accompanied by heavy penguins.

How do you get a heavy penguin anyway? Is it like a normal penguin with extra electrons?
8)

No need for contrition, mortification or nothing abject niether.
It would make a nice name for an advertising agency though:
"Contrition, Abject and Mortify"

Damn, I meant to look up "Phoocoid" before I started writing, and now its too late
Ah well,
I'm not really a collective- more a super-Id composed of a vast bundle of alter-egos-
I am Encapsulated Life Pod number 3.
There was a number 2, and a number 1, but their story is very long and un-interesting.
In the Lighthouse bar, I am James Pod 007, ship's spy. Pod has a pet guinea pig called 001:
(###8)
"___"_
And I am also Ms. Moneypenny, Pod's faithful Wu-Dan Typist.
In another thread I am a maniac who likes drinking and blowing things up.
And there's lots of other little-ego's dotted around too.
I am trying very very hard to get something proper written as a guide entry, and I seriously admire your postings .

So- do come back to the bar, but don't bother with any more contrition... There is absolutely no need for it, and anyway, most of them wouldn't have a clue what you're talking about! 8)
As for the fish-head embargo... well, that's down to LighthouseGirl, not me, and you can be sure that she will welcome Pinniped with any kind of fish or drinks he wants. Don't know what your tipple is Lion, but you can be sure to get that there too.

And, this end of the pier thing...
Well, I kicked off with a couple of posts..
Not sure what you're actually after, but I specialise in gibbering nonesense.

Hi Pod!
I did reply (or rather Lion did), but it's at Pier No. 2 instead of here, which would have been far more sensible.
Seems I'm geographically challenged to-nite. Must be the cod-liver oil.
See yah
Pinniped