h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Baby went very quiet on Tuesday night, which is most unlike him, and stayed that way through wednesday so the community midwife advised we go in to get monitored. Found a baby sitter and trekked over there for around 8pm wednesday night, J managed to join me at around 9.45pm

They did a CTG, a continuous trace of the baby's heart beat to make sure he looked ok. They said we also needed a doppler to check blood flow but they couldn't do that at night so I had to go back yesterday. They did another CTG then (eventually, three hours later) a scan.

On the plus side, spud is fine, already over seven and a half pounds (estimated to be at least 9lb at full term), and in a good position for birth. On the minus side, they had real problems with the heart rate monitor both times and kept losing track of him so I ended up stuck on my back, pressing the belt into my side too afraid to move in case we lost the trace again and made the whole thing last even longer. I already know they will want to monitor like this during labour, as they did with T'boy. I think that being stuck like that, flat on my back on the bed, is not going to contribute to a good labour - certainly not the active one I am hoping for and I cannot see how we are going to have a successful vbac if I am immobile, uncomfortable, and unable to get into positions that encourage the baby out and help to relieve my own discomfort.

Am quite down after these past couple of days, and seriously considering a planned cs again, rather than risk another awful labour ending with an emergency cs.

*sigh*

Still, a maximum of 4 weeks to go for this pregnancy, thank goodness. Can't wait for it to be over...

Has Spud started to 'engage' yet - if not don't worry he'll be in a different position during Labour so it may well be easier to move around and stuff whilst being monitored.

It's hard, because the only way to avoid a emergency section is to have a planned one. I don't know the figures for what % of women have successful VBACs, but I suspect it's about 50/50.

From the business end not all emergency sections seem that different from planned ones. It depends on what grade the 'red' ones are a bit of a rush, but the 'amber ones' are far calmer - you could even have a GA section if you want, and wake up to a clean washed baby. Just because the last one led to a PPH doesn't mean the next one is any more likely to.

Either way there's a damn good chance you'll end up alive with a healthy baby. The maternal and perinatal mortality rate here is excellent - even with all the problems we do have.

At our end of the hosptial our death rate is 1 in 10, and I am sometimes rather jealous of the Ob/gyn lot.

Kelli
I hope things go well for you. I can understand that you want to go through a 'real' 'successful' labour, but dont beat yourself up about it if you choose to go with a cs again. There's no shame in doing that. I never saw the wisdom of women wanting to go through hours and hours of pain, putting themselves, or their babies at risk, because they want to do something the old fashioned way. Your goal, i would think, is to have a healthy baby, and yourself healthy enough to take of it once you get the wee one home. How the wee one gets out into the world is irrelevant.

I am glad that Spud is okay. That is the primary thing along with your health, too.

Thanks Z, no not engaged yet but this isn't unusual for a #2 baby - he is in in *perfect* position for birth otherwise though so I hope he doesn't move too far. The thing is, we had the exact same monitoring problems before so am anticipating them again. Last time I had four different people attempting to attach the clip to the baby's head so I could get up but they all failed. One of those people was the SHO who thought internals were something that best come as a surprise to the woman. The clip wouldn't stay on and I ended up feeling pulled about for no good reason - plus baby had a load of scratches on his head.

I understand why they want to do the continousmonitoring,but do you think we'd get very far suggesting they do it for ten minutes out of every half hour so I can get up and move around in between? Everything else looks so favourable, but I cn't get over the worry that poor positioning might scupper everything. I know the pph isn't a sure thing this time around but I can't help but worry that labouring unsuccessfully before a cs might contribute to it happening again. Difficult to shake off these worries from last time, and doubly so to maintian the positive attitude I will probably need to get through. VBAC success rate differ depending on lotsof factors - my camp isn't so good but the consultant put the chances at 70%. Not sure if he was just trying to make me feel better about it though.

Thanks for the hugs lml, what I am hoping to avoid is the long recovery period while trying to look after a toddler, and I'll have that whether this is a planned or emergency cs, but also after my car-crash birth last time I could really do with something to feel good about.

ATM I am not sure what will mess my head up more - trying and failing again or just not trying.

Ditto

*gets the giggles trying to figure out if our arms are actually long enough for a in any position other than sideways*

Ok - I think the intermittent monitoring 'might' be ok, esp in the early stages, given that the last section might be for failure to progress, not for foetal distress.

But think about the worse case scenrio - (which I always think is the right thing to do about difficult decisions) do you want to move so much that you're willing to accept a tiny increased risk to the baby?

If you do want to accept that risk - then fine - it's your body. But you'd have to live with the consequenes if it went wrong. I very much doubt it would be much of an increased risk.

This is the decisions we make all the time in obstetrics, cos the safest way to have a baby would probably be for everyone to have a planned section at 38 weeks. But that's not best for Maternal health so we try and deliver vaginally.

(J has an arm span of over 6 feet and we still have to sideways - now measuring 45 weeks...)

>>>ATM I am not sure what will mess my head up more - trying and failing again or just not trying.

Kelly, please take the word 'failure' out of your vocabulary. It's just a label and I don't think it is the proper way to describe the circumstance should it arise. Just because VBAC may not turn out to be the appropriate delivery for you and Spud doesn't mean it is a failure.

Indeed - failing to deliever a baby would be dying of exhaustion with the baby stuck in your pelvis - which isn't going to happen.

oh, Z, you're so graphic... lol

WM, that's the point i was trying to get across. You will not fail, Kelli.

Thanks Witty, lml and Z - but sadly my feelings aren't as rational as my reasoning - I've said the same things (well not quie the same as what Z put ) to other people myself to comfort them! Doesn't change how I feel about it though, and the recovery was so dreadful last time I really can't bear the thought of that again. Of course I can never know how much any of the various complications contributed to that, and maybe a planned cs or even an emergency one withough losing all that blood and being immobilised for days afterwards would have a *much* better recovery this time. What I wouldn't give for a (working) crystal ball right now...

I sort of wish I could go into labour naturally before next thrusday so we can just deal with what happens, rather than have to discuss and plan it with the consultant at my 38 week appt.

Oh and I should *really* stop reading other people's birth stories - if I have to read "trust your body, it knows what to do" one more time I'll scream - as mine clearly didn't have a scooby do last time!

What you've described has worked through all the possible scenarios, weighing up the pros and cons of every situation. Nothing wrong with that; it's what intelligent people do.

Although it was many years ago, I still remember how frustrating it was to feel that I had lost control over what was happening to my body - especially when the birth attendants weren't very good at explaining and discussing.
In my day, it was a case of Do What You're Told and, preferably, Shut Up.
By the time I had No3, I went in armed with the birth plan. I think it was the first time any of them had ever seen such a thing.

I do understand your frustrations and worries
Having a baby is not something you're going to do that often and of course you want it to be the best and safest experience for both of you - and for the rest of the family.

One wee thing I can now see with the perspective that the distance of many years allows is that sometimes the best way to deal with the feeling of not being in control is to give it away - ie go with the flow.

Got my fingers crossed for you that everything goes exactly as you'd hoped.

I've never been pregnant, so I don't have any useful advise. At least I don't have a birth story for you. *silly* I'm sending good vibes in your direction. I know it's hard, but try not to stress out worrying about it all.

Dear Kelli,
You know my feelings on the failure topic. I would ban use of the word 'normal' as well.If you all agree a C section, it's an alternative that's best for you and your baby.
Please write down for your birth attendants that you do not want continuous monitoring, that you want to get up and move around as much as possible.
I say write it, because sometimes the opportunity isn't there in consultations (if you get that far)to say it firmly enough for the medics to note down.Remind them that you don't want a repeat of the last experience. Don't accept lying on your back in one position. Don't accept anything you don't actively want. This is probably the last time you're going to do this?
(They didn't even have an ear trumpet thingy when my second was born. He is now a very proud father of two.)
With all good wishes

I felt kinda cheated that I had to have an emergency section but as mentioned the alternative to that would have been a hell of a lot worse so I focus on the fact buggerlugs made it out fit and well As for the monitoring thingy - the same thing happened to me. Getting my little angel to lie still long enough in my womb so they could get the trace always took longer than the procedure itself!

Dear Kelli,

My granddaughter in South Africa has had three Caeseran(sp) sections in four years for the birth of her three sons. She had had problems with her back and has had to give up her ambition of a career in ballet. Everyone is fine but she has decided that three is enough so she will probably not try for a daughter.

I "lost" you when I was ill last year. So sorry to hear about the first difficult birth. I think the instructions of Wandring ** are excellent. It is your body, you are giving birth to your child so you jolly well TELL them what YOU want.

I know you do not want to hear any birthing stories so will save my gem until later.!!

A great many good wishes and much affection are flowing your way my dear friend of long standing. You will be fine and I know you will make the decision that is best for you and which will benefit both you and the new infant and ultimately your dear spouse and older brother/sister

With much affection

Christiane
AlsoRan80

Kelli

I don't have anything to add to the otherwise most excellent advice here.

The thing is that the end result and not the journey is the important thing here.

I'd definitely echo the writing down how you would like your labour and the birth to go - and don't feel shy about telling everyone.

Did you discuss the SHO's attitude to examinations? I know that I am sometimes over assertive - but for that type of thing I am most definitely on the side of telling people. A lot of people are way to shy of mentioning things like that to doctors. (not being rude about doctors Z - I can't imagine some of the examinations that men undergo, and even a very experienced senior male doctor can't really know what it's like to have a pelvic exam while you're in the throes of labour. I can scarcely rememember it myself and I've had 2 children)

And for goodness sakes stop reading the birth stories! the "I was knitting a yurt for my 5 older children while doing Baby Einstein with the 2 year-old-triplets and running Exxon while pushing numer 9 out" make me want to scream, and the scary ones... you know, every birth is different.

But sometimes the only thing which helps is and . Even if it is only virtual.

YOu can't - but don't bring it all down to gender. Kelli hasn't even said the SHO was a bloke.

I have never had a liver biopsy, or had an arterial blood sample taken, or been told I have a terminal illness. But I do all of those things to people. Just because I have a radial artery myself doesn't make my arterial blood sampling technique any more sympathetic.

Even if you have had the same thing done to you - it's very different when you understand what's going on. For instance if you are a doctor giving birth apparently all you can think about is the complications, and you end up in a state of anxiety wondering what's going wrong and you accept any high tech intervention to stop it.

Tactful feedback, is also accepted - chaparoning midwifes will normally give feedback themselves if they think something was not done correctly.