h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Got a call from Patty while feeding Faith, and haven't been able to call the hospital to confirm anything, because Faith's being uberclingy (probably because I'm not happy...) and I can't even call Tom to talk about it because he forgot to take the mobile with him this morning (after we both looked all over for it)

Anyway, Patty told me that Daddy Bob pulled the tube (breathing tube? drainage tube?) out a couple days ago and his lungs started to fill up with grunk. They got the tube back in, and got the grunk out. For some reason, they can't leave the tube in much longer. One option is to take out the tube and do a tracheotomy, and put in a stomach tube (thought he already had one, since it was after the surgery to put in a feeding tube that this all started... Someone's confused, and I'm not sure who...) and go from there (and likely the other foot needs to be amputated, but of course 3 operations right after the other are a bit rough even for someone that's young and healthy). The other is to pull out the tube, and if his lungs start filling again, just... let him go. The wouldn't give Patty any advice either way, which isn't surprising, as she's just Daddy Bob's stepdaughter's mother-in-law, and so no relation to Daddy Bob. But I've gotten no call from the hospital (yes, they have my number) so I'm not certain I have any say anyway, even if I had a clue. Grandma might, though, since she's his mother-in-law... Reading that last comment, that sounds dumb...

it's 2000 all over again, except that Mom wasn't going to be getting any better short of a miracle, and she'd already told folks years before that she didn't want to be on life support if there was no chance (she wouldn't even keep the feeding tube in)

Faith actually let me put her down, so I'm going to call the hosptial now. *steels self so she sounds normal on the phone*

Oh Amy......

Well, the basically told me the same that Patty did...
And in her opinion, Daddy Bob likely wouldn't recover from the trach surgery, and even if he did, he'd still have to be on a ventilator, and he's have to be moved to a long-term ventilator facility... This would be so much easier if he'd discussed this sort of thing with someone! Though the nurse said that the family friend that's been helping us out through all this said Daddy Bob had talked to him once... But the only person I'm almost certain that Daddy Bob would've talked to was Mom, but since we lost her April 19, 2000, that's not much help... also called Grandma to let her know what's going on, and she asked if the hospital or nursing home has anything on file, like a Living Will, but I doubt it... If he did, it would've been mentioned over the phone, don't you think? And if he did, I'd be able to just follow his wishes in this, instead of having to guess. Though I'm leaning towards letting him go, as whenever they've tried to take him off life support, they have to put him right back on, and his heart and lungs have stopped 3 times, and he's got who knows how many meds (antibiotics, blood pressure, sedation, etc) in him right now and he's barely stable...

I need to get offline, as the doctor's supposed to call today or tomorrow to give me more info.

Follow your heart

Oh dear, I don't know what to say... what a choice to have to help make

*big s*

Such decisions I'll be thinking of you

Well, no phonecall yet, and I probably shouldn't be online, as it's just 4 pm, but I can't read any more, and cleaning house doesn't tempt me in the best of times... Though I could get around to throwing the last load of clothes in. Not that that takes very long. I'm glad I'm helping out in the nursery tonight (special function at church)--playing with Faith and Elijah and whoever else gets left will help distract me (Yeah, I could play with Faith here, of course, but keeping an ear out for the phone means Mommy's not much fun...)

I find myself wishing that, by the time the doctor calls, there won't be a choice to make Yes, that's how horrible I am, wishing that someone who helped raise me since about a month before my 3rd birthday would die so I don't have to make a tough decision.

If anyone wants to revoke their s or s now, I understand.

Don't be silly.. i should think its perfectly normal to feel that way..and then feel bad for it ..in fact i know it is. you're only human

I can understand....

God Bless you.

It's perfectly normal to not want to have to make such a decision, Amy.


It sounds horrible to say, but I often think we *know* too much these days. It seems like we can sustain what passes for life with so much intervention, for so long, only delaying the inevitable. Then the medical community (which has pushed to sustain a life that would have ended much earlier without their interference), presses the next of kin to make a decision about when to discontinue such intervention, effectively making the next of kin responsible for death.

I know there are many on this site whose life experience would cause them to disagree with me, but I often think we were so much better off when we just left the timing of life and death up to God.

I agree...

I understand Amy,I have lived this one.

May peace surround you all.

Dear Amy
Whatever you decide to do (or not to do) will be the right thing because you will make your decision with a kind heart and love.

I am thinking of you .... as are all your friends