h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A fast-moving snowstorm hit the area just as we were getting on the Airtrain. New York got just a dusting, but Logan Airport in Boston got six inches. Scribbles had been frantically dialing numbers on his phone all afternoon, and I assumed that he had been worried that our flight to Boston the next day might be delayed.

As it turned out, our flight was only an hour late in leaving JFK. It normally took a little over an hour to arrive in Boston after leaving New York, but we ended up circling Logan for a while until a runway could be cleared for landing.

While we circled, Scribbles tried to point out the wonderful experiences I had had on my month-long journey, and the wide range of benefits they could have for me going forward.

"You've spent time riding or being towed by dolphins, camels, horses, elephants, and donkeys," he offered as an example. "Animal welfare activists are likely to want you to be a spokesman in their ads, and they will offer you money for your help. Cities from Mumbai to Istanbul to Hong Kong may offer you free trips so you can tout them as destinations for tourists. There may even be product placement opportunities -- Segway, for instance. Okay, so not many offers will come from skateboard makers -- you're nowhere near their target demographic. But organizations that work on behalf of disabled people will want you. I can even connect you with a few that have asked me if you'd be interested..."

"Yeah, old and decrepit is definitely my demographic," I said glumly. "But no, I just want to get home and relax for a while," I said.

After landing, we made our way to the baggage carousel. As we waited for our suitcases to appear, Scribbles told me that one remaining type of transportation was in store for me as I returned to my townhouse condo in Brookline.

"Not the wheelbarrow!" I groaned.

"Definitely not that," Scribbles said with a laugh, "but we'll need to get you to Charles Street in order to access it.

Now I was more puzzled than ever. We got on the Blue Line train at Airport Station, changed to the Orange Line at State Street, and rode the Red Line from Downtown crossing to Charles Street. I looked up at the sky as I emerged from the train at Charles Street. No sign of UFOs, the only transportation I had not yet used.

Scribbles saw me looking up and laughed. he took me by the arm and led me to a pedestrian bridge, where we crossed over Storrow Drive and came down on the walking-jogging path that ran along the river for miles.

There, waiting for us, was Orp Redilg in a Santa suit. He had a sled which was hitched up to eight sled dogs.

"Nice day for some sledding," he said. "Care to hop in?"

The new snow glistened as we rode along, the traffic bustling along Storrow Drive on one side, and the buildings in Cambridge looming across the river

"I shot a dog food commercial here yesterday," Orp said as we passed under the Harvard Bridge, which carried Massachusetts Avenue traffic. "They wanted the dogs returned last night, but Scribbles begged them to let me keep them for today."

We reached the pedestrian bridge behind Boston University. I picked up my suitcases, said goodbye to Orp, and carried them across Storrow Drive. I passed Marsh Chapel, crossed Commonwealth Avenue, and took the side streets that would lead me to my townhouse condo on Beacon Street in Brookline. I only owned the first floor of the building, and was grateful that carrying my bags up several flights of stairs was not necessary.

When I got my door open, I heard a whishing sound. My faucet was running -- I'd left it running for the month I was away. My water bill was going to be astronomical! Picking up the phone, I dialed Scribbles and said, "I guess I'll need to make those product-placement ads after all. Yeah, I need the money....."

Nice return!

So much for idealism!

We all have utility bills to pay. Water rates have soared by about 70% in my neighborhood lately, so this is not a far-fetched conclusion. Pell's only other option might be to camp out at the Dollar Store for most of his purchases....

And, yes, I do plan to put the whole 30-chapter store into a guide entry.

You made it! Well done, paulh

It was all laid out in the outline I did. But thanks.

I've been to about a third of the places depicted in the story. I concocted whatever I could for the rest of them, based on Internet searches and hope that the information I got wasn't woefully out of date.

The adventures in Queens would not have worked if I had brought the snow in the night before. I simply forgot about the storm, so it had to be postponed. How often do I get to control the weather?

Here's a link to the whole story:

http://h2g2.com/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A87864097?s_fromedit=1

Thanks for 30 days of entertainment, my friend. You did well!

Well done Paul for writing for writing such an informative and entertaining journal.

I would love to have visited *all* the places I mentioned. Now that I've unearthed some of the better things to see, maybe I can plan to start seeing them for real.

Should you pass through Denmark give me a call, paulh

I could take you for a ride on the 82-year-old wooden rollercoaster on Bakken (The Hill) north of Copenhagen, the world's oldest amusement park still in function.

http://www.bakken.dk/english/bakken-the-worlds-oldest-amusement-park

So far only two people have been killed in accidents on this rollercoaster since it opened in 1832

I passed remarkably close to Denmark in 2013, Pierce. I was in Riga and Tallinn and Saint Petersburg.

I remember. I have only been in Tallinn of those three places. But I've also been in Rakvere and Tartu and seen most of Estonia plus made a short trip into Lithuania

I liked Tallinn a lot. Great city for tourists. Riga was okay, though I wasn't excited about the typical Latvian food that they gave me to eat. Drinks made with grain? Boring!

They served me some Russian vodka, but it turned out to be Lithuanian and only held 37.5 percent alcohol

This could have started a riot if we hadn't been too

I'm surprised that people haven't mistaken Lithuania for Lithium.

"Have you taken your Lithuania today?

Valid question, if you ask me

Not that they seemed to be unfriendly, mind you

I liked them a lot. I couldn't help wondering where the residents came from, though. Russia? Scandinavia? Germany? Poland? Their physical characteristics seemed not to be much like those found anywhere else.

It's interesting that there are pockets of German descendants in several parts of Russia. When my brother and his wife adopted a child from near Stalingrad, he looked a lot like his adoptive parents, so much so that we assume at least some of his biological ancestors were German [my brother and bis wife both have some German in their family tree].

Not that it matrters a lot, except that when my brother travels with his wife and son, few people question whether they are related. When you realize that they selected their son, he was only two years old. How do you look at a two-year-old and figure out what he might look like twenty years later? It['s hard, but they pulled it off.

Reminds me of the time my ex wife's sister took the ferry from Denmark to Harwich, England, with her husband and their two kids. On arriving they suddenly remembered that the kids had no passports. But the parents succeeded anyway in ensuring the customs officer that everything was alright, the kids belonged to them, so they could go on and enjoy their holidays in the UK.
- Yes, I see the resemblance, the Brit answered dryly.
I should probably point out now that both the kids were adopted - from Korea

As the customs officer explained: "Only people telling the truth would forget the obvious fact that the kids were of another ethnicity"