h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chapter 7:

[The story so far: Viola and her grandfather enjoy supper in the unique dining room of Blemnox, the family’s ancestral home. KR3BS, the robot butler, has prepared delicious southern delicacies for the south side of the table, and northern dishes for the north side. Grandma, recovering from an ordeal with quicksand, has arrived in time to join them.]

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Grandma went to bed right after supper, while Grandfather led Viola and Blake on a tour of the eastern side of the plantation. Here there were bean vines climbing poles and, a short distance away, some apple trees. “Why didn’t you plant the beans next to the trees so the vines could climb them?” Viola wondered.

“We tried that once, and it was a disaster,” Grandpa said. “The beans are Kentucky Wonders, and the apples are Northern Spies. They just didn’t get along….”

“Speaking of not getting along, I wonder why that goose is dive-bombing us,” Viola said, pointing up. Blake drew a gun from his pocket and shot the goose before it could do any harm.

Blake searched the goose’s neck and pulled out a computer chip. He put the chip into a special gadget his espionage agency had given him. “Just as I thought,” he said. “This is an assassin goose, trained to take us out. My enemies know where I am.”

“But….but…..that’s Sneezy!” Viola exclaimed, pointing at the goose.

“Yes, it’s one of the geese from our goose farm,” Blake confirmed, “but it wasn’t my idea to name the geese after the seven dwarves.”

“And the Three Stooges and the Marx Brothers,” Viola continued. “Well, there were a lot of geese in the flock.”

“Now there’s one less,” Blake said grimly. “I didn’t tell you at the time, Viola, but I knew the geese intended us harm. That’s why I brought in a wolf to attack them if they tried to harm us.”

“Sparky was a wolf?” Viola gasped.

“Part wolf, part German Shepherd.”

“How would Sparky have stopped the whole flock?” Viola wondered.

“That’s classified,” Blake said grimly. “My employer had other protections in place.
He also had a taste for roast goose, but nobody’s perfect. Anyway, the geese flew away after the house was destroyed because their job was done there. Sparky is now a seeing-eye dog for your third cousin Yolanda.”

As they walked back to the house, Grandma was on the veranda. “I just got a text from your son Jason,” she said to Viola. “He wonders what happened to the house,” she said.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot that Jasper was coming home for a few days,” Viola gasped.

[The name of Viola and Blake's son is Jasper, not Jason. Sorry about confusing an already confused story.]

at least that is cleared up now

Deb

[Amy P]

F S