h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Once they had reached the safety of the jungle, the apes dropped Paulh
on the ground and climbed trees. Swinging on vines, they soon left Paulh alone in an alien place. As he looked around, he saw dense vegetation and heard the soon of running water. He headed toward the sound.

Then he saw the Congo, creeping through the black,
Cutting through the forest with a golden track.

He followed the river for what seemed like a thousand miles.

Then along the riverbank a thousand miles,
Tattooed cannibals danced in files.

He came upon a boat that was moored by the riverbank. "African Queen"
was the name painted on its prow. It was deserted, but he could hear
music coming from a clearing not far away. There were chairs placed around a makeshift stage, where an aging man in military uniform was dancing with young women in warpaint.

"Pull up a chair and join us," Humphrey Bogart told Paulh. He was sitting in the front row with Katharine Hepburn. Behind them were the explorers Stanley and Livingston, Babar the Elephant, writer Isak Dinesen, a mad dog, and Noel Coward.

"Who are the performers?" Paulh asked Bogart.

"Captain Kurtz and the Horrors," Bogart replied.

Paulh tried to enjoy the dancing -- which was horrid -- and the music -- which was even worse -- but he was distracted by a large snake that was either sizing him up for its next meal, or evaluating his potential as a mate....

[Amy P]

I, for one, enjoyed this journey into the heart of darkness...

My story may have climaxed too soon, though. There are 20 more episodes to go, and I'm wraching my brain to think of material for tomorrow's episode.

build and they will come! err! sorry - WRITE it and they will come