h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi there and welcome to The Hitch Hikers Guide Heliophile... My name is Greebo T. Cat, and me is an Assistant Community Editor here at H2G2. If you need any help then ask away, me will try to help all me can.

Here is a handy link to a page me wrote for new researchers to the guide such as yourself, it has several links to parts of the guide that you might like to visit. So if you have the time, why not pop over to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A517286

Me takes it from your name that you love the sun... me does too... stretching out on a cushion... a glass of milk by my side... snoozing away... ~grin~ Me also like Sci-Fi.. and fantasy too... the latest book me is reading is called Green Rider... hmmm... me forgets the author at the moment... but it is her first book... and its a jolly good read up to yet...

Huggles, Greebs..

Well hiyah!
I is more than a tad happy to be greeted by such an emminant personage as your goodself!
Speaking of moggies...mine was last seen heading off onto the Wlid Blue Yonder (WBY) with a rather mangled mouse! Must go and close the door to stop her scoffing it on the computer chair! Sitting on mouse entrails is OK for the likes of yourself, me, however, don't rate it!
Have you shot across to the bigalibi site yet? Him and Ming are getting quite quite surreal!
Sitting in the sun is a lot of fun, and I find that you have to spend a lot of time working on your positions to find a really comfortable one! Some people confuse this with laziness...! Don't you find that this is so???? All my life I've had felines of one sort or another around me, so now i find it difficult to live without them. Ho Hum...Just have to keep the beds and rads warm I suppose!

Purr to you later!

Soooooooo, the dazzling brilliance of the heliophile deigns to disperse his radiance on h2g2 world! Soon be time to get the welding mask out, unless of course the clouds of obfuscation obscure his brilliance! As one who knows these things, the most dazzzling (yes, 3 zzz) (it's more dazzzling than the 2z variety) day can be obscured by a sufficiency of sog in the stratosphere. If anyone can translate that into plain English can they PLEASE let me know.
Well, if the sun's out, I'm away over to the h2g2 swimming pool for a quick dip. Splash you later, bigA.

Big-A, that's Heliophile with a capital "H", oh ignorant Northern Foreigner! Sheeeeesh! And yes, the heliophile is (to use yor barbaric vernacular....)(These damn' things are multiplying, aren't they?) "oot an' aboot" ! Roll on the Summer and the CFF! I wonder if "The Dreaded Ming" will grace (?) us with his prescence?
(see!!!!!! there's more of them!)

*the Dreaded Ming graces Heliophile and BigA with HER presence*
Morning all! Have dropped by to continue getting on surreally with you two!

¦M¦

Ah! Um! Sorry your highness-ness!

I beg on my cleched shins for your fogiveness

So....You must be the EMPERESS Ming?!?! Any relation to "Ming The Slightly Deranged"? Or "Emperor Ming The Terribly Annoyed"? I only ask 'cos I went to school with "Anita The Tun". (OOOOOH! They get worse! They get worse! Quick, Nurse! The Screens!!!!)

I do hope you know that you've just hooked up with two of the biggest loons on the planet, nay the Universe!?

I'm just waiting for Grebo to reappear, then it WILL get silly!

Here's hoping...!

Why, that's OK! You have my forgiveness, that happens all the time...! (And may I refer you to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A350065 ?) Ummmmm... I'd say Slightly Deranged.

I had noticed that you appear to be mad. Which is good, you'll stop me being quite as bored as I was.

It will? Excellent, how silly?

¦M¦

~Greebo re-appears as requested... sits down and waits for the sillyness to begin~

hopes greebo has plenty of milk to lap and fishbones to nibble, you know how rarely heliophiles can come out to play given the typical British weather.

~Greebo stares at the milk and the dead fish...~

Er... what are these??? You must know me always drinks milk through a straw... and me thinks the best thing to do with that poor fish is bury it... ~grin~... now if a large doughnut is in the offing then me wouldn't say no...

~Greebo digs a large hole and nudges the fish bones into it... and bows her cute head~

Dearly departed... we lay this fish to rest... cucumbers will fall from the sky... yah though me walks through the valley doughnuts... me won't nibble one... (well maybe one.. or two...)... All praise to the singing Nun... Ahhhhhhhhh... mennnnnnnnnn...

~Greebo looks up... wipes a tear from her eye and awaits her straw and doughnut~

My most humbule apologolies, dear Greebo please find enclosed one and you can take the straw from and use it to drink your milk. Feel free to use Heliophile's door as a rubbing post, I don't think he'll mind, especially not if you purrrrrrrrrrrrrr @ him!
(places on grave of dead fish, strokes Greebo gently and settles down to await the return of the Heliophile.....)

Aha, you returned Greebo!!
Hello!!
*also puts on the dead fish's grave*

¦M¦

~Three huddled forms surround the small grave~

Er... did it have a name???

Don't know, it was dead whenI found it

Three huddled forms hold a vigil at the Tomb of The Unknown Fishbones

Well... we could refer to it as the dead fish? Or just Fred?

¦M¦

So-o-o-o-o, I have to bring and things to the Grave of the Unknown Piscine? I only hope it wasn't one from the river next to Big-A....! They never really die y'know! Vampire Mackeral and all that.
Cod The Impaler? Derek the Dope Dealing Tuna? (Sorry, in-joke! Listen to Peter Buckley-Hill for details!)(They don't leave you alone, do they?)

Speaking of things silly , or not in this case, I'd like to go record as saying that the world is now a slightly sadder plaice now that Harry Secombe has gone to that Great Goon Show In The Sky . With Peter Sellers already there, they are going to have a lot of fun!



So, what's been happening peeps?

I've just come back from Tarporley after picking up the "race" car from it's annual fettling at Skip Brown.

Fettling.....Now there's a word that needs to go on the Odd words site....

~Greebo looks up...~

Oh my... who WAS that masked stranger???

~Everyone hears The Lone Ranger theme tune~

They don't get much stranger than me!

Oh yeah? Well, I know you a bit, and there's plenty of people who I don't know at all, and they're all strangers, and as I don't know them, they're stranger than you!! *grin* So there!!
Heh heh heh!!

*grabs and eats it*

¦M¦

Aha!
But I am the person my mummy warned me about!



Oops! Nearly forgot!

(Why isn't there a"Large Glass Of Milk With Straw" Smiley? Greebo, m'dear, you're slipping!)

You coming to the next TILOB meet, Ming? (The International League Of Baddies) (Only kidding..!!!)

I'm really suffering at the moment! I'b god ready dasdy code id de nobe an' I'b aw bugged ub !!! Be sypathetic!