h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*suddenly produces exact copys of Apollo in the form of androids. There are as many androids as there are exes.*

Here's how it's going to work, I'm going to mix the real apollo in with all these androids. After I've done that, each ex will pick one, and that's who/what they keep. In order for this to work as intended, I will need each ex to sign a legally binding contract that says they will not argue if they pick an android instead of the real apollo, there will be no fighting over the results, and that all stalking will discontinue after this point. We will not proceed until I get a responce from all the exes, okay?

IM me, and we'll work out how we'll deal with this, okay?

This is my way of saying that this whole mess is starting to get old, and I would like to come to a resolution soon please!

"Oh, Apollo"... j/k

You're right SG. It's old...

*blinks* Does this mean my solution worked without having to do anything?

I would think you'd have to ask Pamela, Rosie, etc. about that one...

I'll sign. Where's the contract?

*Twirls stake*

*hands a laptop to SG, attached to a nearby laser printer* You're doing the writing.

Sarah Michelle, I applaud your maturity... Good luck in recieving Apollo...

Hug>s her puppy.

*hopes all the ex girlfriends are gone*

maybe they're asleep?

If I never see them again, it'll be too soon.

Oh, well, with the p.c. acting up, I don't really have time to do it right.
but, Ah'm going out in style!!!

Madonna: Aww, well..., but only if I get 26 of them.

Noooo! Mother, how COULD you!??
*Hauls out a rocket launcher, flames dear old Mom.*

*As the thread darkens, a single, lonely spotlight picks out the broken-hearted sheep.
She stashes the rocket launcher behind the carnivorous plant (Thus accidently Arming them) and begins a -liloquy
In a trembling voice*

Oh, this is baaaad! Apollo? Where forth art though? Methinks that they do not care how much my love doth
burn!

With this aching heart, our ways doth part,
And, never to have known...
His wond'rous eyes, his golden thighs,
The caring they hath shown...

But, I'll waay, this sad, sad day,
And cast a look back, aching...
My golden youth, they are uncouth
To try this duplicating!

(Dramatic music swells in the baaackground)

No, how canst thou think that true love could ever be fooled into accepting a cheap knock off?
What do thee know of our heart-ache? Of our moments stolen with the beloved Golden Boy, and how they have shored us up in time of need?
'Tis a baaaad thing, to be misunderstood! For, are we exes not in love?
And, yet you use us thus! If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you sheer us, do we not shivver in the cold, cruel world, plotting our revenge?

Oh, Saturn Girl, I cannot forget my one true love! I shall away, ere the dawn, but some day...
well...
"There's always tomorrow" because "There's got to be a morning after",
so...(Disco music) "I will survive" ...

(Boogies down with her baaaaad self)

How touching....



Bassman

*munch*

*arches an eyebrow*

*giggles*

Hi Sarge - how was your dig?



Bassman

It was grand thanks...I found such exciting things.

Nails...and pottery...and shell

Oh yes, and animal bone. Lots of that