h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just found out that my father's second wife, my step-mother I suppose, is on her last legs after not responsing to treatment for bowel cancer. Apparently she is in hospital with liver failure, so that's pretty much that then.

I'd not had much contact with her in the last 5½ years since the death of my father. And slightly more of a concern if I'm looking at this from a family perspective; I'd not had any real contact with the kids she'd had with my father, my two half-brothers.

It certainly wasn't them that phoned me to tell me what was going on. It was my father's younger brother, my Uncle Chris (all 83 years old of him) that did the ringing. I don't have contact details for the two half-brothers, but I do for the two step-brothers that I've got - that's thanks to Uncle Chris again - so I guess I had better give them a ring. I'm not sure what kind of a reception I'm going to get after all these years though.

I'm not really sure what I should say. You seem to be having as bad a time as I did early last year.

I've just talked to my younger step-brother, Richard. He was pleased to hear from me, and had in fact going to be calling me shortly. The news is that his Mum is unconscious and very close to death, and is unlikely to make it through the next 24 hours.

This is sad. She's not a person that I liked very much, nor knew particularly well. The one thing that I do know is that she made my father happy and vice versa for the twenty odd years that were married, before his death in the summer of 2000.

I've been told that I am very welcome to the funeral whenever that happens. And I've said that I want to try to keep up with the family, as at least two of them are blood relatives - and as you all know, blood relatives are very thin on the ground for me.

Heigh-ho...

You're having a bad time of it GD...

I don't really know what to say, except

Fb

Ditto for me, have a big

You did better than me GD - my two half brothers I've totally lost touch with - no idea what's happened to them since my grandmother died.

Hope this closing leads to a new opening for you.

She died on Friday evening without really regaining consciousness in the last few days. The funeral is going to be next Friday week.

I feel bad for my half-brothers: they're only 30 and 28 years old, and that's no damn age to have lost both of your parents. I don't know how I would have coped if my Mum had died when I was in my twenties, other than to say I probably wouldn't have done.

The only consolation is, no more pain.
Your brothers are going to need family support, I hope you do decide to get in touch, even if they're in shock and unresponsive, just give them time..

After reporting on the fun and games of the journey, I've realised that I've not talked about the funeral itself. Sorry.

I was made very welcome by the lads, and was included as one of the family mourners in the cortege of cars - I shared a limo with Susan's two oldest friends and my eldest brother's mother in law.

The service at the local church was good, if a little long for my tastes, and the place was packed solid. Then back to the cars and off to the crematorium for that part of the ritual. Oddly Canterbury's crem isn't in Canterbury, it's about 10 miles away in a whole different town.

Next it was back to the original church and the church hall for a buffet and a general meet and greet session. This went on for a couple of hours and then we all walked up the hill back to Susan's house. I spent some time chatting with my brothers, finally leaving at about 5pm when the snow that was falling was getting rather heavy.

Since then I've exchanged a couple of e-mails and some phone calls with the four of them. It's something that I need and intend to keep up with.

Good to hear

Traveller in Time reminded to call his brother
"The whole cermony is not for the passed, it is a bonding ritual for the left behind. "

I'm glad it went ok GD, I've never been to a funeral before but have my Grandpa's on Friday so it was helpful and somewhat comforting to hear of your experience of one.

TiT - you are right, the funeral is very much a celebration of the life of the person and for those left behind to come together and be strong without them.