h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't knock maggots.. they work

Sounds nasty, GD - hope you're feeling better now. Is it healing properly now, or is the still regularly giving you a pack on the cheek?

In my day young man, people who had a boil on their bum didn't get on the internet to tell the world about it. But it sounds very painful. However, the really shocking part of the story is the fact that you phoned on a Friday and were told you couldn't see a doctor for 5 days.

What's happened to the 48 hour target from the 2002 NHS plan?

"All patients should be seen by a GP within two working days or a primary care professional within one working day if they wish to do so. Equally, patients may wish to be seen at a time more convenient to them outside the target's timescales, or to wait longer to see their preferred GP or health professional, and appointment systems should allow them to do so."

The NHS claim 99.9% of patients get an appointment within 48 hours, so is your bum that missing .1%?. Mind you it is a bit bonkers anyway:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/vote_2005/frontpage/4496867.stm

If you think GreyDesk's bum consitutes just 0.1% of a patient, then you are sorely mistaken.

B

Glad your feeling better now anyway.

Anyway a saline drip is prescribed because if you're not allowed to eat or drink it matches the daily sodium requirements of your body. Well roughly anyway.

Because of the consitutent of the fluid used it can stop you getting dehydrated better than a sugar and water drip.

That's because in your day, coelacanth, there *was* no Internet

Hmmm.
*gives Gosho the very special, stern teacher Lòók*

Hides - BH is going to need an ice-pack on his bum.

Coelacanth, five days is a great improvement from what it used to be. Under the old system that the practice ran you could only get appointments for that day. If the book was full, then you had to ring back the next day, and the next, and the next until you finally got an appointment (or got better, or died).

No need for the stern look coelacanth - there was no Internet in my day either

Things are healing up OK and the bleeding and general suppuration has decreased quite significantly. But the hole is still very much a hole, and will need regular clearing out a repacking for some considerable time.

Oh just bung some Polyfilla* in there

*Other filling compounds are available.

It's funny that you should mention other filling compounds. When the packing goes in it really does resemble tufts of rockwool; well known for insulating the walls and ceilings of the nation.

Of course on it's way out it has changed somewhat, and now resembles a hardened chunk of bloody snot

Oh good, this thread again. And just as I was eating my tea too

At work we were eating dinner, and the subject got onto tape worm. I WAS eating noodles. lol.

Good luck with your Bum.

The wound is healing very nicely, and now no longer requires daily repacking. I've been sent away with a bunch of mepore dressings and told to do it myself. I'll check in with the practice nurse say a couple of times a week just to make sure that everything is still going OK.

So it looks like I'm now well on the mend

"Good luck with your Bum."

That has to be one of the best signoffs to a h2g2 post... ever