h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A gleaming white laboratory with large and small machines whizzing and pinging all over the room. Small puffs of smoke are emitted here and there and there are occasional flashes of light from various devices. A perfect playground for the development and testing of new weapons and other technological watsermagiggers.*

*Spectre enters and looks around*

oooooo... it's all really shiney!

*starts fiddling with various machines and receives an electric shock.*

*#ZZZZZZZAP!!!#*

ouch.

*sits down at a computer terminal and begins designing something.*

*Prof. Chaos walks in and observes Spectre's experiments. He then proceeds to test out the strength of his gauntlet. After this he retires to the chemical cupboard and observes reactions of various chemical enhancers he has custom made for himself*

*casually observes Chaos before returning to his designs for an electromagnetic anti gravity harness.*

did you know they've nearly invented hyperdrive space travel? there are now 8 dimentions and apparently all you need is a spinning metal coil and a large magnetic field of around 25 something or others and that should be enough to counteract the gravity of earth and propel a ship to the moon in about 3 hours. pretty cool huh? (thank you New Scientist!)

Rather interesting, but prey tell what are the 4 dimensions that come after time? This sounds like an incredibly expensive affair, personally I think it serves little use exploring such distant realms that we know nothing about; the money would be much better spent designing ways to bring arable farming to poorer countries, thereby making them self-sufficient countries. Then we can enslave them all!!!

*A numbered garage door slides up and Grey Swordsman's Blademobile pulls up to a buffer at the end of a "open-parking chute."*

*The cockpit slides open*
"Hi All! I bought a really expensive robotic butler and he helped me to build this fancy car... whatcha think?"

*Demonstrates some of its gizmos.*

: , I meant bumper... oops.
Grey Swordsman: "What're you working on this time Prof.?"

nice car shwordsman.

Chaos, i agree with your view that the money could be better spent but they say that if this project is a success it could revolutionise space travel and bring the stars within reach for the first time, although the only practical thing ths will achieve is a greater knowledge of the universe. about the other 4 dimensions, i think they were something to do with the forces of gravity and electromagnetism which made up the first 2, and the other 2 were initially scrapped because they didn't seem to do anything. the idea was conceived by a german scientist called Heim (now deceased). his ideas have been picked up on and the hyperdrive project recently won an award at the AIAA (American Institute of Aerodynamics and Astrodynamics). the theories behind these other dimensions are devilishly complex but they say that with funding and current levels of technology building a prototype would be very possible. they say that the craft powered by this idea would actually travel through these new dimensions as well as/rather that our own (didn't fully get that bit). anyway i need to reread that article if i'm to go on sounding clever so i'll shut up now.

oh, and enslaving poor countries is a) actually surprisingly easy b) rather pointless.

Thanks. Hey, you don't need loadsa high tech stuff though. I got my powers by accidentally swallowing a philosopher's stone. The alchemist explained to me... that there was something odd about my individual body chemistry and how it had individually become part of my makeup and composition. Couldn't we get somebody really strong in like a sorceror or a to make some sort of portal?
*Pictures some crazy large, rune (written) over-ridden thing, like in Stargate.*

Grey Swordsman: "Besides I bet that somepeople like Spectre and Professor Chaos, already have something in the works for extradimensional travel anyway, isn't that right?"
*checks his watch for a moment*
"..."

ah, that would be telling.

this isn't a portal into another world thing, this is dimensions as it the spacial and time dimensions that we are familiar with, although i think the simple version of what they said in the article is they can move space ships a hell of a lot quicker without using rocket fuel.

Grey Swordsman: "Oh."
*Checks out/examines a scaled replica of a TARDIS.*
: One may note his grey on gray two hued costume

oi, hands off my phone. that's a novelty antique that is.

:
Grey Swordsman: "Oh, oops, ..." ^_^;
*Then he gets curious*
"Does it (actually still) work?"

yes! it's a mini police box with a phone in it. careful because sometimes it randomly calls people on its own.

Oh... .

"I need [some] alchemy equipment."
*Digs around in a cabinet searching for burners and odd shaped beakers, pausing only to set down a tray of several test tubes onto an adjacent table.*
"Can somebody help find me a set of flasks?" the grey swordsman says.
*He is a little hard to see at this point because he is behind a gradually increasing mazework of pipes and stoppered tubing.*

Grey Swordsman: *Does a "thumb's up" while sticking an arm out from the network of interconnected chemical apparatus((es?) Apparati?)*
"Also, could somebody... where am I going to be able to get all that lead from?"
Hmm...

there are a lot of very old pencils over there from the pre-graphite era. other than that i thing you're going to have to raid some roofs.(rooves?)

Grey Swordsman: *Gets out from the network of pipes and tubing with all it's flasks, hoses, and , flanges?*
", really? Oh, bummer... say, you wouldn't happen to have noticed any sorta drilling equipment here... I know for a fact that there are some pretty nice gypsum deposits and probably some okay lead ore too, now that you mention it... [that] The city... is sitting on top of."


*Looks around for some sort of a mining machine or a drilling vehicle*
"Not much luck so far; I'm not that sure where to look."
*Shrugs*