Sneezing for fun and profit - yours for just 8.99

Hatched in the Central Incubator, some decades ago, I found that I was able to walk, talk and put my shoes and socks on - in that order- in a reasonably short amount of time. Since then, I have discovered the vagaries of life and the nuances of the universe incalcuably difficult to fathom. I have tried all sorts of home-remedies - from rampant alcoholism to buying an Internet-connected computer - all to no avail. As a result, I have decided to have my brain removed and replaced with a 4 slice electric toaster; not only will this delete the problem of thinking altogether, it should supply me with endless amounts of my favourite comestible to munch on whilst I think of absolutely nothing. The only problem I can foresee, however, is that I will be then too stupid to work out where to put the bread in...


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