h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just don't tell the customers.

I am gluten-allergic and lactose intolerant, so limits on milk products, too. Oh, and some citrus, nuts, now, strawberries...

Oh my, that restricts you to all the food I wouldn't want to eat.

I have to admit, though, that the products have improved since more and more people need gluten-free food. The range is very varied here and growing. Same goes for lactose-free products. Shame they cost so much more than 'normal' food. It's like punishing people who have allergies.

You're right. And the gluten-free flour is getting almost bearable.

There's a whole range of gluten-free flours here, too. I've never tried any of them, though.

I usually don't bother, just eat low-carb.

Though right now, I have some mini-pizzas in the oven. Pizza frozen, of gluten-free flour, topping cooked by myself.

I guess with the right topping, you can eat almost anything.

You should suggest that as a marketing slogan. I like it.

I hope it's not ambiguous.

I didn't think of that.

I have a knack of doing that without intending it, so I'm wary now.

That can happen. Especially around Englishmen.

Or MMO players. Yesterday, somebody complained (on a German server) about the name 'Citymilk'. I said, 'Okay, what does it mean?'

The other person said (in German), 'It's English, it means City and Milk...'

I was just afraid it was a new form of horrible slang.

It's a weird name, but then I guess that's what you end up with when trying to create a user name that doesn't exist yet. I know somebody calling himself starlightcasino.

That sounds good, actually.

Yes, you rack your brains for these names, sometimes. And then some bossy person goes and changes it because it is rude, or 'doesn't fit the roleplay'.

The ones that I have had to change, well, they wouldn't get past the profanity filter.

Really?

I once yikesed an 'Adolf Hitler'. I really thought it wasn't an appropriate user name. I know it's only a website, but I was very upset at the time.

You are absolutely right to do so. Those names do not belong. They're only doing it to annoy.

Like the ones who name characters 'Meinkampf' and such. It's just children being dumb.

But the question 'Why can't I be named Rektalprobe?' is pretty funny, you have to admit.

Along with, 'I want you to cite him for verbal harassment! He called me an Erdferkel!' @



@Hamsters: 'Rektalprobe' means what it looks like. 'Erdferkel' means 'aardvark'. Oh, and 'Mein Kampf' was the title of Hitler's memoirs. Do not attempt to read this without a large bottle of aspirin, even in English. I have read it in German. I know.

Rektalprobe

And Erdferkel is much nicer than Sau (sow).

I've never read MK. I don't think I could stomach that. We read excerpts in school when I was 12 or 13. It still makes me shudder.

I don't blame you. That book is horrible in more ways than one.

A professor of mine in Cologne, who was Jewish, had a funny story about 'Mein Kampf'.

At the end of the Second World War, my professor, a young man, was working as an interpreter for the American military. On the weekends, they went souvenir hunting. His captain wanted a copy of this book.

Unfortunately, everybody had destroyed all the copies.

So my professor and a friend made fake ones...out of old novels in Fraktur, nobody would know, right? Put in a new title page...

They needed the money. And it was a good joke.

Twenty-five years later, he met this same captain - who was now a lawyer in Texas. He was still trying to buy a copy of 'Mein Kampf'.

This time, for big bucks on the black market. He'd photocopied some of the text...

Once bitten, twice shy.

This story gave me enormous respect for the talents of my professor at the Martin Buber Institute.

People can be so creative when there's money involved. Have you ever heard the name of Konrad Kujau?

http://www.galerie-ausstellung.de/hitlertagebuecher.php

I think it wasn't just the German 'Stern' ridiculed, but some English magazine (the sun?), too.

There's a great movie about it, with Uwe Ochsenknecht as Konrad.

Oh, is there a movie about that? I'll have to find it.

We lived in Germany when that happened. In fact, I remember when it came out in 'Stern', which we read every week...

A colleague of mine, an historian, was ecstatic. I was contemptuous.
'I could write a better Hitler diary than that,' I scoffed. He insisted, no, absolutely authentic, Hugh Trevor-Roper said so...

So, when it turned out to be a fake...

There's a Southern expression, 'in the catbird's seat'. I was in it.

That would make a great writing assignment. Write the diary of a famous person...

What is the title of the movie?

I never read the 'Stern' - I think I may have read Brigitte back then.


The film is called 'Schtonk'. The director was Helmut Dietl.

Götz George is in it, too.

I think I'll go to bed now, I'm getting very tired, and it's late.

Have a good evening.