h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We all identify differently, I guess.

I was just sitting here at my desk, minding my own (and the h2g2 Post's) business, when the phone rang. I picked it up, muttered a greeting.

'Hello, can I speak to Lola's mom?'

This took some reflection on my part. I'm hard of hearing, and I wake up slowly, a process which takes hours. Yes, I've already written a thousand words, and filed several photographs. No, I'm not ready to talk to Actual Humans yet. Particularly not Cheerful Fairies.

The first word I understood was 'mom'. No moms here. No kids around...oh, wait! She said, 'Lola.' Lola is our five-pound Shorkie. 'Lola's mom. . .' The penny dropped.

I handed the phone to Elektra. Dog grooming was rescheduled.

Magnolia is a wonderful groomer. But now, Elektra is having a conversation about relationships with Lola. 'I love you dearly, but I'm not your mother,' is what I heard.

Meanwhile, Molly the Editorial Assistant Kitty will follow me anywhere in the house, except into the shower. She ran away when I turned on the water.

I can't be certain, but I'm fairly convinced Molly doesn't think we're related...just friends, surely...

We got a letter in the post addressed to our Alfie on Saturday

<BB<

Aw. That's terrible.

Can the groomer speak dog I wonder.... Our vet couldn't when he asked for Opie dad... Hang on a minute mate... and I barked down the phone! Baffled.

<BB<

" 'I love you dearly, but I'm not your mother,' "

I salute this attitude. I guess some people these days have pets instead of children, so they want to be the pets' parents, but it makes me slightly uncomfortable (especially when related relationships such as 'grandparent' are projected on to other people...). However, people would no doubt have Things To Say about me and my soft toys, so there we go - it would be boring if everyone were the same

"I can't be certain, but I'm fairly convinced Molly doesn't think we're related...just friends, surely..."

"Baffled."

Good answer, FWR!

at this whole thread.

I don't consider myself my Goldie's mother - even though when she meows to be fed it sounds like "M-aaaaaaaa-m!"

When I was cat-sitting for my daughter & uploading videos of my visits for her, I found myself addressing her as Rossi's mummy - when talking to him. One day I swear I heard him call for Laura (my daughter) and I told her on her return, she said yes, he does this when she gets home and she dashes straight up the stairs to visit the bathroom - he calls her because he expects to be fed first

All of this reminds me of the contemptuous German term for over-coddled pets: 'Kinderersatz'. ('Replacement children.')

Chez Gheorgheni, we believe each species should be respected: cat, dog, chipmunk, human, resident ...

Then again... If you can be godfather of Heavy Leslie....

Once I was visiting a woman friend.

A moment came when she wanted her cat to go out.

Though usually the cat was eager to be let out, this time things were different, the cat resisted.

I remembered a stray I'd seen hanging around the grounds that day and put in a word for the cat.

My woman friend insisted the cat go out anyway.

The cat finally gave in and remarked distinctly as she stepped through the door being held for her, "Rat fink!"

The Hoggetts have a part-Bengal cat over at the farm. It knows one word, which it says distinctly. 'Out!'

"... we believe each species should be respected ..."

Music to my ears. You have no idea what it's like to constantly being asked "who's a good boy then" just because one was born a great dane

I once saw a parody of Hamlet, they tried to make it into a musical. They stole one of the songs from 'South Pacific' changing the words to 'There is nothing like a Dane'

F S

love it

The Irish might not like us much today. We beat them 5-1 in Dublin yesterday and are on our way to the world cup finals in Russia next summer

I certainly don't consider myself my horse's mother. Sitting on one's children is kind of frowned upon.

Pet owners are not parents of their pets. Basta.
Swedish has particular words for the owners: Matte (short for Matmor, literally food-mother, but more like matron of the house), and Husse (short for Husbonde, master of the house).
Mamma and Pappa are for parents of actual humans.