h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't usually pass around stuff from other websites like this - at least, not stuff that wasn't written at least a hundred years ago - but this one made me laugh until the tears came.

For UK readers: our postal service is terrible these days. I'm sure yours is much better. Apparently, back in 2012, somebody at the Huff Post told this writer to re-imagine the classic epistolary novel 'Dracula' - but under 2012 postal conditions.

Theoretically, all these events are possible - or would be, if foreign post offices were as bad as ours. We harbour the suspicion that the mail in Transylvania may NOT be worse than the mail in the US, however. After all, communism has been defeated.

Here it is, 'The Undead Letter Office'.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laurence-hughes/undead-letter-office_b_1343421.html

PS I wasn't really goofing off, honest. I was researching literary connections between Walt Whitman and Bram Stoker. Well, okay, I was goofing off by reading about those two...who cares? it's all good.

I'm scoring math questions, honest I am

Thought you might like the text I added to my FB share of the story

"Ba-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Those from h2g2, you can blame Dmitri for me bringing this before you.

OK, those not from h2g2 can blame him, too, if you don't mind blaming someone you don't know "

Great story!

We tend to rather have problems with other delivery services... like gls for instance. We recently ordered something from Germany, which went back and forth 3 times before returning at the sender.

My mum's best friend sent a cake to her son in February. To this day they track its movements on the internet. unfortunately I don't have more information about where it has already been.

Amy, you're a hazard. Now that writer's going to wonder where all the traffic came from...

And Tav...what a shame that cake isn't equipped with a camera, to show where it's been...

Hey, I'm not the one that put it before me

Yes, that made much more sense in my head... I blame tables and graphs (and 2legs, naturally)

postman! postman! don't be slow, be like Elvis and go man go

I only had one experience of an American post office, but it sticks in my memory.

They kind of bark orders at you like you're in a paramilitary training camp. A lot of jokes about the postal service from American sit-coms all began to make sense at once.

Heh heh! I enjoyed that, thanks Dmitri! They can still count themselves lucky they weren't in South Africa.

Right, Willem. I'm beginning to suspect that story could be adjusted for just about any postal service.

KB, you should see the main office in Philadelphia. It's...er, impressive...worthy of being occupied...

Which reminded me that the only short story I've ever read in Irish was Liam O'Flaherty's 'Oifig an Phoist'. I couldn't do it today, not without a dictionary, but it was in an Irish class in Germany, years and years and years ago.