h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm a bit puzzled (not unusual for me, I'm slow), so perhaps somebody could enlighten me.

Thanks to the 'news' I get whenever I switch email accounts, Susan Boyle, the UK singing sensation, was refused permission by a bad-tempered songwriter named Lou Reed to sing his deathless composition, 'Perfect Day'. (I have listened to this song. It is a yawn.)

This allegedly ruined a television show and caused Ms Boyle to leave the States, for which I, as a US-type person, would like to extend my sympathies. That was uncalled for. From the online chatter, I gather that this 'ban' on singing his song was the result of Mr Reed's dislike for Ms Boyle's singing.

Now, I have researched this brouhaha, as much as I can. Susan Boyle seems to me to have an irreproachable singing voice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRr9KxO_nRc

Lou Reed, on the other hand, should arguably be requested to confine his vocalisations to someplace soundproofed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ88oTITMoM

(I've always enjoyed that song, but not for musical reasons. That is almost, but not quite, completely unlike singing.)

What I want to know is, what in Sam Hill is this business of refusing to let a vocalist perform your song? Not record it, mind you, but perform it?

Last I checked, those people on the television paid their ASCAP and BMI fees. If they do, that should constitute prima facie permission to sing any old thing, any way they please.

Writing a song is, in a way, work for hire. Once you've let it go into the aether, any fool can come along and sing it.

Or whistle it, or hum it. I'm imagining this scenario in future:

BILL is in the shower, bellowing away.

KNOCK ON DOOR.

VOICE: Open up, this is the music police!

BILL WRAPS HIMSELF IN TOWEL, DRIPS HIS WAY TO THE DOOR, OPENS IT.

BILL: What's all the fuss about, officer?

OFFICER HALUPKE: You were just now heard to be in violation of Article 42, Subsection D-, of the Pop Music Protection Act of 2010, to wit, that you did unlawfully hum, whistle, and/or bellow the following lyric: (CLEARS THROAT AND RECITES IN A MONOTONE): 'Never seen the sky so blue...'

BILL: And that's illegal?

OFFICER HALUPKE: Yes, indeedy. This is just a warning, sir, seein' as how it's your first offence, but watch it in future. Make sure your shower singing is public domain.

BILL: So it's okay if I sing 'Never saw the sun shining so bright'?

OFFICER HALUPKE (CONSULTS LIST): Only if Sony hasn't renewed the copyright. But I believe you are safe with Irving Berlin.

BILL: Maybe you should send that list to Susan Boyle. (HITCHING UP TOWEL) May I go back to my ablutions now?

OFFICER HALPKE: Yes, sir. But please warn that child in the backyard with the kazoo.

FROM OUTSIDE COMES THE STRAIN OF 'WE WILL ROCK YOU' ON A KAZOO. IT SOUNDS BUZZY, BUT BETTER THAN AT THE FOOTBALL MATCH.

EXIT DRIPPING OFFENDER

Ahem.

Many, many musicians have been known to ruin perfectly good classical compositions, from Spike Jones to the ELO.

I suppose the only retribution they need fear is being haunted - in which case, they'd better not do their singing on the SyFy channel. Or they'll have to call the Ghostbusters.

I hadn't heard of any of that. I live behind the moon.

I don't know hwta the legal side is. But maybe that man has a contract with Sony?

I can't watch about 80% or so of youtube clips because they are blocked in my country. They have Sony content or something. I hardly bother clicking on youtube links nowadays.

Hmm. Maybe we need to organise against them.

From what I hear, the song in question has been 'covered' by many different vocalists. Reed was being arbitrary.

Then he is a stupid man. I think Mrs Boyle has a fantastic singing voice.

Music only became what it is today because of plagiarism and theft of other people's music and lyrics. That's what a lot of people like Lou forget. One of the things I like about a lot (not all, but a lot) of folkie types, is that they view it in such a positive way when somebody 'steals' something they've written.

There's a flourishing trade in Christy Moore bootlegs, for instance. Now and again Christy puts in an appearance when people are swapping unofficial recordings of gigs done here, there and everywhere. What's his response? Does he alert the legal team? Nah, he chimes in himself. "Here - could you send me one too? I can hardly even remember doing that gig!"

Good for Christy Moore. I think folkies generally believe in sharing the music.

After all, being parodied is an honour.

I doubt Simon and Garfunkel ever sued over 'The Folker'.

And filkers even parody parodies!

I guess nobody sued Beethoven:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3sAg3t6pjE

Oh, in case anybody's interested, here's the Simon and Garfunkel parody:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IwqK8OMgT4

Fascinating journal, Dmitri. Didn't Led Zeppelin allow Rolf Harris to record Stairway to Heaven?

I guess Susan Boyle could always claim that Lou Reed's career has been dead for 50 years, even if he hasn't.

The report I read said she was on her way to the venue and there wasn't time to 'learn' a new song. I am sure she knows her songs inside out, but perhaps it was the accompanying singers and backing that couldn't change tack in time. A pity Susan has been upset yet again.

Mr. Reed should be grateful that anyone wants to sing his song, it isn't in my top 100 and is far too repetitive

Oh and the Music Police sounds very much like some of the 'jobsworths' over here!

Websailor

I seldom read entertainment news so hadn't heard about this. It's ridiculous. I wonder what he really dislikes about Susan Boyle? That she actually has talent? I like her voice a lot more than I do his music.

They now say it was all a mix-up. But she's already feeling the effects from it:

http://celebrity.uk.msn.com/news/gossip/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=154632042&ocid=tdoay

over the youtube, Dmitri.

That's a lame excuse, if it was for a US show and the US were excluded from watching it. It's like with Sony content.

I agree about that Lou Reed - poor sport, very poor voice.

And thanks - I loved that video, too.

Hmpf. When will these people realise that regionalising music performance is counterproductive in the global age? They lose goodwill over this.

Lou Reed is probably jealous of the fact that he sounds nothing like Susan Boyle. If I were him I would be extremely honored that Susan Boyle wants to sing my song. Good article.

Thanks.

Yeah. I've been listening to that lady. She may not be fashionable, but she can really sing.

Lol, you are right about her not being fashionable, she really could use a stylist. I guess her fashion sense doesn't matter seeing as that people still love her.

It is time people judged on talent and not appearance, and paid them on that basis too! Some of the best singers have been plug ugly, but if we just listen, looks don't matter.

Websailor