h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So is there anything in your shop I can get my dad? I'm completely over Xmas shopping, but my father is proving difficult.

Got me anything yet?

Oh god, I'm having enough trouble wih my own dad, and no, haven't got a clue what to get you

Am I really such an enigma?!

Guys are hard to buy for. Has your sister got me anything? You've gotta give me a hint for her, I've met her for about 30 seconds.

Wrong sister, Charlotte is the one who was getting you a gift, although I can't confirm that. She's the one in Auckland, with the history degree. You'd like her, I think. The one you met, Chanel, has no money, due to problems with her cat.

I wouldn't worry about getting anything for Charlotte.

Oh. A gift from someone I have never met!

I just asked mum, she says yes, Charlotte has bought you something. You should just grin and bear it, she's daft, don't worry about it!

I'm more worried about your brother, he's gonna beat me up!

He is not

I have no idea how to deal with girl's brothers. I'm sure my sister's boyfriends weren't the least bit worried by me! How is your brother enjoying his stay anyway?

Good, I think. He hasn't done anything so far, but I think he's enjoying the break, and my dad'll take him out to do stuff this week.

By the way, do you want, or know anyone who would want my mice? They are driving me nuts

Oh no, not your mice! They keep you up at night, huh? Get some ear plugs (er, for you, not the mice).

I don't know anyone who likes mice, but I'll ask around. Otherwise I have a very greedy cat...

Don't you dare! I want them to have a nice home. They're nice mice, I think I'm just too old for them. I've already put them on TradeMe actually, but I feel bad about it, so if you can find someone I'll take them off.

I'll see what I can do . Funny, I would never have thought MICE could be noisy!

We spent our first date playing with those mice! Ah, memories..

They're really cute, Frankie's just been washing Benji ... but they're too noisy, and smelly, and I don't pay enough attention to them I'm a bad pet owner. I've already vowed I won't own birds again, it was just so long since I owned mice that I forgot what I was like with them And I've killed every pot plant I've ever owned. Even cacti

When I was flatting I had a pet brick. I swiped it from my next door neighbours when they were building their house (I was SURE they had stolen a ping pong ball from me). I proudly displayed it on my windowsill. Don't know where it is now. Never came up with a name for it, but if I had it probably would have been 'Bricky'.

That's the best kind of pet - non-existent maintenance

My ex-flatmate (Phil - the guy we saw Narnia with) use to joke that because I had stolen a brick, the neighbours wouldn't be able to finish their house - they'd run out of bricks and not be able to afford one more, so the house would have to be demolished .

He was cool.

Damn funny guy, he's practically a member of the family (my mum always puts up a stocking for him at Xmas). I don't see him so much now. Pretty much the only friend I had until I went studying. But he's such a Prevert.

Prevert? Maybe I'll see him on New Years with you.