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No Replies
Posted Jan 3, 2001
I must be awfully boring. Or possibly invisible. No replies. That's the story of my life. But that's okay, I guess. I'm just gonna keeping putting stuff out there whether it interests people or not, simply because it is cathartic. Happy New Year to all and to no one.
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Latest reply: Jan 3, 2001
shattered
Posted Dec 21, 2000
years ago I made a plan for my life
mother of children
devoted wife
I was naive
full of hope
the plan has been accomplished
now I find it difficult to cope
somehow I've been lost along the way
maybe I'm selfish or not worth the effort
there's so much more to me
but they can't see
I'm fading away
screaming inside
they can't hear me
believe me, I've tried
my spirit is worn and tattered
I never imagined that I could be
shattered
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 21, 2000
Robotics
Posted Dec 19, 2000
Yup, that's what I said, ROBOTICS! Y'know, sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to be a robot. I've discussed this with other women in like situations and they agree. I feel that I am supposed to care for everyone and everything without those nasty feelings such as: frustration, anger, sadness, longing. . . .I'm not supposed to be a real person with real feelings or desires. I'm the one that's here, I'm the one that's responsible, I'm the one that grows tired of it all at times.
I often fantasize about escaping - just for a bit . . .all alone. Just me, some books, perhaps some wine, scented candles, my journal . . .
I long to stroll on the beach and look at the stars and the only sound is the surf crashing upon the sand. I'd like to hide away in a little cottage with a nice soft bed and fluffy covers. I'd like to take Felix the cat with me . . .
Of course, I would return eventually. Because this is my life and I do love it and those in it, I just really want a break. A time to relax, a time to think without being talked at. A time when I don't feel that I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. Less responsibility. Time to dream and explore.
Maybe I'm being selfish and should be resigned to my circumstances, but when I tell that to my heart, it doesn't agree. It tells me there could be more, there may be more, there should be more.
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Latest reply: Dec 19, 2000
Yuletide Approaches
Posted Dec 14, 2000
Ah, the holidays . . . fast approaching . . . .children waiting for snow and Santa. Meanwhile, I'm going crazy as I have decided (for reasons unbeknownst to me now) to make all the Christmas gifts we are giving this year. I've mostly accomplished this task, but still have miles to go before I sleep.
My Christmas Wish List was short this year . . . only requested a few books that I really wanted. I plan to hibernate right after the new year! 
My goal for the new year is to get back to my writing as well as working on one-of-a-kind dolls. . . . and maybe to quit smoking . ..
Happy Holidays and God bless us everyone!
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Latest reply: Dec 14, 2000
The Plight of the Obscure Doll Artist
Posted Oct 6, 2000
And that would be me... I am a doll artist. Not just a dollmaker. I am a creator. I am original and design my own patterns as well as create my whims of fancy. I get great pleasure out of my obsession, but unfortunately, I do not get the amount of respect I crave (especially from family members). I also do not get the monetary benefits I so desire, simply because I do not know how to market myself and my creations properly. I also find it difficult to set aside my desires to create in order to research this aspect properly. After speaking of these things to my love, he volunteered to come to my aid and do some research for me. We shall see what is yet to come.
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Latest reply: Oct 6, 2000
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Night Siren
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