Journal Entries
Back on h2g2.
Posted Jan 12, 2012
I'm back. Thank you guys, who run things here. 
Really thank you. I want to be here.
I have had a lot of nice emails from people here, thank you so very much all of you. My health really isn't still so good and it's great to make a new friend in Rudest Elf who has the same diagnosis but stable..but most important is witty and friendly and a 'curate's egg' 
according to his old head at primary school. I'm the same. He's lovely.
Special thanks to anhaga for that lovely thread about my drawings for the Caddis article in his Journal. It meant the world to me that he could see the love, care and tenderness in those drawings. Art is a place I can show that part of me..which is often well hidden..I learnt that young, to hide and protect it. I'm a bit like a caddisfly larva I realised, with that protective case.
A very strange thing I discovered whilst away, was the caddisfly scientific paper, the guide entry is to do with, featured in an international symposium around 20 years ago - but I only found out this week It was on the web. I'm surprised I never found it before. I would link, but it has my real life name..and I'm a bit wary obviously.
That guide entry, whatever happens to it, means so much to me in so many different and complicated ways. And I noticed it will soon be a year since its first draft..a lot my fault for getting stroppy..and it's still pending I thought I might write a poem called 'Forever Pending'; they'll put it on my gravestone. 
I may put all the drawings on web somewhere at some point.
Mags has been brilliant in letting me sound off about things...not commenting or judging or even really giving any opinion at all..just letting me be Effers. I love that woman. She is going to help me re-adjust..
So here I am again...
Seriously I want to be allowed to be here. There are people here I really do love so much, both on my friends' list and not. You know who you are.
I going to do my very best to make things work...and be kind more often. I do love that word; related to kin I think, and kindred...maybe kith as well.
**
More soon about reallife, when I get a bit calmed down. 
and 
all those I love here.
(Oh god those foxes are still barking, screeching and yapping outside, and doing what they do..they have been every night...There's never been a year like it for that; I love them)
Discuss this Journal entry [14]
Latest reply: Jan 12, 2012
Are various parts of the Media here in the UK
Posted Jan 2, 2012
getting more and more and more patronising towards people who are *labelled* *different* ?
I think it is.
And horribly so.
Christ, I pray I don't end up mostly helpless, old and at the mercy of such people.
They really ought to be issuing suicide pills to some of us.
Discuss this Journal entry [12]
Latest reply: Jan 2, 2012
2012
Posted Jan 1, 2012
Happy New Year all.
I reckon we had it best here in Peckham.
Couldn't see anything from the Big Ben except constant explosions and bangs.
A few local little bangs still...and lots of emergency service sirens
And did that superstitious thing of opening the back door to let out the Old year...and then opening the front door to let in the New...
Things can only get better
http://bit.ly/schOqT
Who hoo....
Discuss this Journal entry [7]
Latest reply: Jan 1, 2012
Various
Posted Dec 28, 2011
There has been an issue with rendering this post, please contact the editors.
Discuss this Journal entry [15]
Latest reply: Dec 28, 2011
In between
Posted Dec 28, 2011
It's weird this no man's land between Christmas and New Year; the borderlands.
In terms of h2g2 I just came off one thingy...and am onto another for 24hours; confined here. It's about seven now since new h2g2. Am I really that mad, bad, and dangerous to know? Did I ever post that I hoped a researcher here died in a car crash?
Did I let rip in the most vile fashion towards someone on their PS, in the last hour of a web site, when the mods had gone home?
But I won't be ever settled or happy though all the time I am permanently estranged from the person I love most here; and that was certainly all my own fault. That's probably a life sentence though.
Sent an email earlier to a friend I lost touch with for a couple of years. A theatre diector. A brilliant woman who taught me so much about the mysterious skill of acting.
Late night egg and chips 
Discuss this Journal entry [19]
Latest reply: Dec 28, 2011
Effers;England.
Researcher U1508701
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