h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah yes, the best laid plans of mice and women (or something like that). It's really too bad about your first plan being squashed , but Plan B sounds quite fine to me. And of course there may yet be Plans C,D,E, etc to choose from. Keep me posted.

Meanwhile, feel free to brainstorm with me anytime - even when I'm not here. I always find it helps to write things down to see how one thing leads to another more clearly.

Um, no haven't done the meditation thing 'properly' yet, though I am keeping all the STUFF in mind and I find that is actually helping me stay centred(ish). I'll probably try to do a proper sit-down meditation thingy this weekend when I have more time - things have been a bit hectic the past couple of days. And this evening we are getting the mega-bed delivered! In fact, I will actually be able to on the monster (amongst other things . . .)



az

Remember I was telling you the other day about the therapy I did years ago in Toronto and how it was similar to what we were talking about? Well, this motivated me to get out the book I have on this, dust it off (it was very dusty) and start reading it again. The book is called Focusing by Eugene Gendlin.

I then googled around to try and find an 'in a nutshell' explanation of this technique - I think this one is quite good:

http://www.sarahchanaradcliffe.com/focusing.htm

The thing is, the 'felt sense' isn't the same as an emotion or feeling. So this isn't yet another 'get in touch with your feelings' sort of thing. Anyhow, read the link and tell me what you think of it.

Curiously, Noggin is also quite interested in reading the book and finding out more about this.

I spent about a year and half working on this with my shrink in TO. I was so lucky to find a psychiatrist who didn't believe in medication (except in extreme cases where a person needed this to help get them functioning again). He had been a victim of child sexual abuse himself, and so this was why this became his speciality. This meant he could also empathise, which was often very important. And he didn't believe in analytical therapy - he thought this ended up with the therapist having too much 'power' in interpreting what the patient was experiencing, as opposed to helping the patient discover their own interpretations.

So, it's going to take a couple of days or so to re-read the book. And then I'm going to begin again with practising the focusing techniques. And so, thanks once again for our chat the other day - it helped me to start thinking about things I could DO. With very positive results.

Meanwhile, some very good news. Yesterday - totally last minute as it was the end of the month - I found a lovely tenant for the extra room next door I'll have free for May and June! That is *such* a relief, as I won't have to pay out the extra rent. And so today I am doing the 'switch over', which also means moving my old double bed to the largest room next door, moving the bed there to the third bedroom, and finally getting rid of the kind of icky bed that had been in the third bedroom. So, lots of work to do this afternoon. Though I am still waiting for the present guy to get his stuff moved out.

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Doncha just love 'em?


az

I just read the article, makes sense to me. I *think* it might be something similar to what I do when I'm chanting about the big stuff, first address the mental chatter and emotions, put them somewhere organized. Then I go into a body awareness phase, kinda relax the tensions, release the blockages so I can ease into feeling a sense of being a part of Everything so I can send energy out and let it come back through me, without resistance, if that makes any sense at all. It's only when that happens that I finally 'see' myself clearly, in terms how I'm creating whatever situation is going on. Then I can focus on directing myself towards making the changes in self that'll bring about desired results.

I'm glad you're going to practice Focusing. My impression, based on out 'talk' was that you're very aware of your emotions and where they come from, but still haven't quite found a way to process them so they don't sneak up on you and kidnap you, put you in a place you *know* you don't want to be in. I wanted to mention something to you. It's what really made me interested in starting my Buddhist practice (though that's just *my* tool to get results, so don't think I'm trying to convert you, ok?) Anyway, the idea, which applies no matter how you use it, is that all the states of being, from emotional hell, anger, animality, on up through the higher ones, are equally valid and are not something that need to be 'removed' from your personality. Rather, there's a way to transform them into an enlightened state, through conscious effort. So anger, for example, can be debilitating and destructive, or you can use the anger energy towards Good ends. It's kinda like the people whose children are brutally murdered, and instead of wallowing in bitterness and loss go out and set the wheels in motion to create legislation or protective services which'll help prevent future instances of the same happening to other kids. In that way they've transformed the negative into a positive.

I'm not surprised Noggin wants to read the book. I'll add it to my growing list of books to read, too.

And I'm happy to hear that your rental situation is settled for the next few months. Now you'll have more mental space to use towards making your dreams come true.

Seems as if I'm in a bubble of thwartedness right now. I hope it pops soon. *sigh* Nothing major, just a cluster of little irritants and obstacles making it difficult to do what I want to, and that's not how my life normally goes. I'm trying to meet someone from the yahoo, might have told you about him, a very special guy best I can tell. Communication has been a comedy of errors, all on my part. After Yahoo lost my long email to him (which I hadn't copied anywhere) I started using an alternate email addy he gave me. Turns out that I was sending them to a wrong address, so he never got them. I called him to try to arrange a meeting, and just as we started to talk a friend showed up (dinner plans) so I had to cut the conversation short before arranging a specific meeting time/place. He's here at Sea and Air show this weekend with a million other people, and I'm unable to make phone contact. Not sure if his phone is shut off, or if it's due to spotty reception, or because after my first two messages I didn't go through the button-pushing ritual that his cell phone seems to require to transmit a message but I've not heard back from him. Lot's of other stupid stuff like that going on the last few days, too. Was late to work yesterday due to backups created by roadwork, which hadn't been pre-announced, then on the way home, when I *needed* some time to have a bath and relax after a gruelling few days work, before heading to the beach for the fireworks I came upon a downed motorcyclist. Naturally, I stopped, did basic first aid stuff, waited til the paramedics arrived. My truck was trapped inside a cluster of firetrucks and police cars, so I had to wait around til the chaos cleared. *sigh* I think the Vogons are lurking nearby. Lot's of random obstacles right now. I guess it's an opportunity for me to work on my patience, but it's really *feeling* like I just shouldn't even *try* to plan anything like a normal person, as every plan is being demolished.

Anyway, I've vented frustration on you again, won't let it become a habit. Have had my cafe con leche, will go do laundry, clean the apartment, and fluff my aura so I can have a great day at the airshow. A cool thing is that my camera seems to be quick enough to catch things... got some *awesome* fireworks pics last night, and hope to get some good stuff today.

ciao!

The 18 hour logic lag kicked in, and I think I can make sense of what I was talking about the other day, when I was going on about everybody's 'worsts'.

I'm sure you've heard about Maslow's hierarchy of needs http://web.utk.edu/~gwynne/maslow.HTM . That has always struck true with me, and *that* is where I was trying to go (but not explaining clearly) when we were talking about feelings etc.

Most of the latent stuff I deal with comes from struggles in the love/esteem realms during childhood. The base levels were pretty solid for me. Some people didn't have solid base levels, so, in that sense, when they're reacting to trigger situations, it's a 'deeper' thing, in terms that one *can't* effectively address the other levels if physiological and safety needs are unmet. Capiche?

My friend who does body work has told me that all traumas are 'stored' in the body, but that they're stored 'deeper', have a greater hold, the closer they come to threats to physiological safety. So a car accident that someone thinks they're completely recovered from will still manifest in the body, in terms of feelings, but it's harder (and more dramatic, physically)to achieve release than it is for things which are manifesting which occured in higher levels of the hierarchy.

Hope that brought some sense to my rambling. That's why I tend to avoid debate, because there truly *is* logic in my thought process, I just have a tendency to leap right over the steps and arrive at the endpoint. It takes a while for my brain to go back and deconstruct what it's been up to, and quite often by the time it does I've become engaged in something else.

Can't really bitch, though, because I *think* that's a big part of what makes me a 'creative' type, as opposed to structured.

And now I've put it somewhere, so the head-chatter will shut up, and I can swooooosh on to the next thing.

Well, of course not only traumas are stored in the body - quite a lot of happy stuff is there too. But we *do* tend to focus on what is wrong rather than what is right (generally speaking).

Thing is, we don't tend to try to intercept and analyse good feelings so much - we often just let them come and appreciate them for what they are, for as long as they last. I guess that's part of the 'focusing' technique - to accept and appreciate what the 'felt senses' are trying to tell us. Without feeling that those feelings are 'all that we are!'.

Again, funny how we tend to realise that wonderful feelings are fleeting and we should enjoy them while we can - yet, we often feel bad feelings are here to stay and then try to avoid them, as if they don't really belong to us.

Have you ever thought - 'my goodness I'm feeling fantastic today, um, I wonder if I'm now going to feel like this for the rest of my life.'


az

>Have you ever thought - 'my goodness I'm feeling fantastic today, um, I wonder if I'm now going to feel like this for the rest of my life.<

Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing!

I almost always feel good nowadays, with intermittent frustrations. Sometimes, when I feel really, *really* blissed out I put it somewhere, so I can go remember what it's like if I ever become desperate and bleak again. I've been making some changes over the past couple of years, so I'm really not sure whether I'm still capable of falling into a black hole with no glimmer of escape. But I'm also careful not to bend over and run head-first into cement walls any more, just to *see* if I can break through them. Ladders and alternate routes seem more efficient, lately.

I haven't bought the book yet, have a coupon for Borders, so maybe I'll bike over there today and pick it up. Does it talk about deliberately storing happy stuff so you can feel it later? I make it a point to remember smells, and quality of light and colors when I'm blissy. Sometimes, when they re-occur I get a spontaneous flashback of exhaltation, which is pretty .

That pain in my neck came back yesterday, as result of the repetition of painting thousands of tiny, controlled dots and the repetition that keeps popping up here when I'd give the painting a rest and peek in. So I talked to the pain and my inner Buddha told me it was about to upchuck with frustration because, though I *try* to be even-tempered and reasonable, I'm repressing my true disgust and smart-ass nature and need to manifest it in an enlightened way. So and I made a quick little story about cursed fruit, and the tension miraculously released.

Wanna help me polish my apple? It needs some help. http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A4012660

Polish your apple? Well, read the entry and thought it was quite good - not sure if you were being subtle or otherwise . . .

Meanwhile, speaking of polishing, you gotta wonder about this one!

http://public.fotki.com/azahar/stuff/cock.html


az

That's a business I ought to look into.

Subtle? Moi???
That lil story was a quick venting of , az. It's not especially well developed, and I was hoping that someone would help me make it more subtle as well as more pointed, if that makes any sense. One of these day's maybe I'll go back to it and tweak it somewhat.

Did you see the photo after it? Quite liked that one too. I was sent a few of these by zoomer the other day and those were the two I liked best.

Meanwhile, I thought your comment on the photo gallery page was quite funny - "Might be just the thing to scratch a number of minor lack-related issues in my life."

Scratch and then polish? Well, that's one way of keeping business going . . .

Okay, will go have another look at your entry. I think I know what you mean about it needing to be both more subtle and pointed.

az

Right, I think the first problemita could be the title, which suggests that the Apple itself is tempting. How about - 'Resisting Temptation to Bite Into the Apple', or, more simply 'Apple Temptation'?

And perhaps rather than 'testing' Apples, 'partaking of Apples' or 'biting into Apples' or even 'eating Apples' ?

And who is Kirk Johnson? Maybe a link there?

And maybe 'Avoid the temptation to taste the Apple'.

Just a few thoughts . . .

az

Loose tongues! I'd be tempted to go to *that* sermon! hehehehe The pastor has *got* to have a wicked sense of humor!

Am just about to get ready for work, so will think about integrating your suggestions when I can settle into that mind frame for a while. If any others come to mind let me know, ok? I *love* the idea of making a joint effort on this thing.

There will be absolutely *no* further discussion of Kirk Johnson in the story. If someone wants to know, they can search out the reference for themselves. The day I wrote the story I went into Wikipedia for an article on trolling, and through the links in that article read an interview with him that was somewhere. Az, according to Wiki, he's the original goatse guy. If you don't know what that is, you almost certainly don't want to. It's a very, very crude reference and the pics are quite disturbing.

Well then, perhaps after referring to Kirk Johnson you could write as a footnote "Look it up yourself!"

Nope, have no idea what a 'goatse guy' is and it sounds like I don't want to know.


az

Bon jour!

I'm on vacation now! Wooooooohooooo!

Damn, the Moral Majority thread was busy while I was peacefully snoozing. I like the Be Excellent To Each Other advice, wonder if they've emailed premod warnings to anyone yet. I haven't gotten one, was wondering if I might, though I was reasonably careful with my smart-assery. Find it difficult to understand why the offensive Apple post that you took issue with was not addressed (though it might have been, of-site). Guess maybe it could be differentiated from direct, personal attack as it didn't directly pinpoint you, but was more generalized nastiness and hurtfulness. Not surprising, given the source.

I've incorporated the second two of your suggestions to the story, but for now I'll leave the title as is. It was *meant* to convey that the Apple is tempting, in the sense of doing something deliberate to draw attention, as well as that people find themselves feeling tempted. If there's a better way to nutshell that concept I'll definitely change it.

I'm thinking of adding the line "What he demonstrated is that continued persistence will surely give unexpecting viewers who happen across the results reason to call you a world-class asshole." to the Kirk Johnson sentence, though it might be TMI.

Any further suggestions for change or additional transgressions are very welcome, my dear.


Hope you're doing well today!

Well, no email yet!

Yes, rather irksome how Apple seemingly 'gets away' with posting inflammatory cr@p by being sneakily 'indirect' and then denying all responsibility.

<

Oh, didn't it? But you're right, one can't expect a moderator or an italic to know everyone's past history.

Meanwhile, having a bit of a weird day. Had to cancel my two classes at the hospital as going outside suddenly wasn't an option. Boy I hate when this happens.


az

I'm sorry to hear that, az. Have you tried the Focusing technique on that, or isn't it appropriate for that application?

Hope your day will un-weird soon.

I've got my messenger turned on if you want to 'talk'.

Thanks for the chat and the email you sent afterwards.

Have replied.


az

I'm still in the mood to head north, everything is packed and I'm in a travelin' mood. Hasta next week, sometime.

Take care!

Missing you already . . . but lots to catch up on when you get back. And presumably lots of new photos!

Hope you have a great time.

az