h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You made me think about my dad, FWR. He always loved 'new potatoes'. I hope you enjoy yours!

Glad to have triggered memories, really amazed that we can stick a fork in the ground and get something to stick a fork into on our plates. God bless the Spanish! (Contraversial historic opinions are not welcomed)

The Columbian Exchange had its moments. Remember Fred the Great and his potato field with military guard?

In the Appalachians, you say you 'grub for potatoes' when you dig them up.

I learnt kartoffel from doing that one!

My dad said he learnt 'kartoffel' from the Rhine campaign.

it's good that he learned something useful. -)

I've been asked how I made the Sword in the Stone garden feature:

Spot a sandstone rock in your rockery that has a nice flat top and keeps reminding you of several decades ago and your eldest daughter's Disney Sword in the Stone addiction.

Find one Highlander replica sword you bought twenty odd years ago for a photoshoot, then promptly stuck in the loft with all your other 'that might come in handy one day' props.

Drag stone into workshop (be sure to comment that 'its bloody heavy') whilst trying not to show how much you're sweating.

Mark out channel in top of rock with a pencil. Remark rock with one that isn't blunt!

Re-remark rock making sure it's now actually central.

Take three long masonry drills (8mm) and promptly snap them all till you get a channel through the rock to fit the sword. (Being extra careful to cut your fingers to bits on the broken drills)

Burn bleeding fingers on red hot broken drill bits thoroughly and repeat three times!

Smooth edges by ruining a perfectly good wood chisel on any stubborn edges.

Scoop up rock dust and keep, preferably without getting it in your eyes like I did (twice!)

Find space in the weird quirky bit of your garden.

Place stone. (Moan about how you're getting old and could've lifted one twice as big back in the day!)

Slide sword through stone into soil beneath.

Take sword out, struggle to remove heavy stone, dig up thick tree root that's very handily right beneath the hole!

Puff and pant getting rock back in place. Reinsert broadsword, wonder how anyone could ever swing one of these in battle, they're sooo heavy!

If you don't want it to be pulled out and waved around by any visiting muscle-bound children, seal around hole with resin and sprinkle with rock dust to blend and conceal resin marks. (Obviously choose a windy day so dust gets in your eyes again!)

There you go!

Easy peasy MacLeod Sword in the Stone.

(Author's safety note: when tackling any diy job, do not lift anything too heavy and please be careful when using power tools and sharp things, always wear the correct protective equipment. )

Well, I'm impressed. Of course, I'm the idiot who once put up all the curtain rods in a house with oak window frames - and then complained to my sister about how hard it was to screw them all in. Whereupon she asked, 'Why didn't you use the screwdriver attachment on your drill set?'

'There is such a thing?' I marvelled.

To know how to do this is wonderful. To know how to do this, and then apply that knowledge to a totally arbitrary and whimsical undertaking, is

Enjoyed doing it mate, there are some instructions on line for movie props that use fibreglass rocks and plastic swords pah!

there is one though that has a hidden switch and an electro magnetic catch so you can decide who can pull the sword out, very nerdy but cool!

Of course there is.

I could moan about how I'm getting old, but I would get similar responses form other researchers who are also getting old. Or have *gotten* old.

On a sad note, had a call from a vets office today, some kind person had taken in a cat following a car accident. . The vet checked for microchip owners details and unfortunately it was our Midnight.

Lovely shy scaredycat she was. Her and her brother Beans will be chasing angel feathers I'm sure.

Rip Mids xx

Aww.

So sorry about the cat. I once worked for a big bloke who had to take a day off work the day his cat died. On the other hand, another boss I had, a slight woman, came into work although her horse had died. She was in tears and no use to anyone all day, but she braved it out.

Until the sad news of your cat came along I was wincing about the ruined chisel. My Dad was very very careful and caring with all his woodworking tools and kept them all pristine. He would fly off the handle if we dropped scissors, or ruined any other kind of tool.

Hope you had enough plasters for all the wounded fingers.

Chiselers beware!

Cat on a hot tin roof.

I noticed last week that the rain from my workshop roof was flooding one of my veg patches.

Never been a problem before, the flat felt roof just dripped onto what was the lawn. Not so nowadays. I needed a gutter system.

Having recovered from the heart attack inducing quotes, I decided to buy the stuff from a local DIY store and do it myself and save six hundred quid!

Gorgeous weather for it too. Baking hot. Really really hot.

Replacing the run from the garage down the garden was surprisingly easy, had to strip out the old imperial sized gutters as they wouldn't marry up to the new euro metric gear. No probs.

Jeez it was hot! Quick change into vest and shorts helped as I moved onto the longer run down the edge of the workshop.

Round the corner… And the greenhouse was now in the way of any chance of putting a ladder up. No probs, up on the very hot roof and I'd lie down and screw the clips to the facia, then clip the last bit of guttering in.

Ouch! I now have a lovely felt roof shaped burn on my knees and elbows. Ho hum, the joys of DIY!

This is a highly entertaining saga.

The learning curve is getting bendier for sure.

I think I unsubscribed by mistake. Wouldn't want to miss an instalment of the Garden Saga

I think I unsubscribed by mistake. Wouldn't want to miss an instalment of the Garden Saga.